Funny Games
by Kattungefisk
Summary: Stupidity has a bad tendency to travel in packs. DinoxOC, slight YamamotoxOC, HibarixOC
1. The Beginning

_Until a few months ago, I only knew about KHR as a strange manga about the mafia. Then I saw a fanmix for the characters of Chrome and Mukuro and, liking the music on it I looked at the others. And so I obviously had to go read the manga. And make my friends read the manga. And write this. (And buy lots of merchandise on eBay, but let's go past that~!)_

Disclaimer: I so don't own KHR. Otherwise Hibari and Chrome would have way more face time, Reborn would be an adult and Kyoko and Haru would learn to fight and take over the entire mafia.

-^o_o^-

In Japan when the cherry blossoms were blooming and nervous and exuberant students were entering a new year of school, three boys, two in their final year of high school and one in his second were called in to the principal's office to hear an interesting offer. The youngest boy was a carefree baseball player who grew up in a sushi restaurant. The next one was a member of the greatly feared Disciplinary Committee, and the last was the most passionate member of the boxing club. As the principal stated what he had to tell them, the three blinked in surprise.

"Host exchange students?" The baseball player mused, "That sounds like fun! I'll talk to my father about it."

The boxer pumped his fists into the air, "That is an extremely great idea!"

The prefect just nodded quietly and received the informational sheets the principal passed out.

When the three left the room, the quiet one was asked a question by the other two.

"What do you think? Will you do it?"

Kusakabe folded up the papers and put them in his pocket, "I think it's a good idea."

-^o_o^-

"This is the first time I've gone on a plane!" A girl with brown hair and tan skin chattered excitedly to her friend with short dark auburn hair as she fiddled with a green and purple plaid scarf that lay around her neck despite the August heat. The two of them stood in the large international flights area of the Vancouver airport, admiring the jade Native American statue that was there.

"I've been on them a few times to go visit my grandmother…" The other one responded. Another girl with long grey-blonde hair and a sheepish face ran up to them carrying a large bag of jellybeans.

"Anna!" The tan girl shouted with exasperation, "How much did those cost?"

"Thirty dollars," Anna whimpered, "It was, like, five bucks a pound! I'm never able to guess the weight of things!"

"Augh!" The auburnette groaned, shoving her hands into her skeleton hoodie and glared at her friend, "You're so annoying!"

"Thora! Vera's picking on me!"

"And whiney, too!"

With a sigh, the eldest stepped in, "Now, now, you two," Thora pacified, "We can't fight all the time if we're going to go to Japan together. And besides," she smirked, "Aren't we supposed to be calling Vera 'Francis' now?"

"That's right!" The blonde bounced up and down, enlarging the holes in her already scrappy black boots and nearly throwing her old welders goggles off of her head, "I can't wait to watch Vera try and pass herself off as a guy!"

Vera/Francis glared at her bubbly friend, "I am _never_ playing Monopoly with you again."

-^o_o^-

A dark and not-so stormy night, five months before…

"I'm bored." Vera declared while lying on Anna's couch, pillow at the ready to defend herself from any possible spontaneous attacks.

"Want to watch Hellsing?" The petite blonde offered.

"No."

"Princess Tutu?"

"Nope."

"Play Call of Duty?"

"Nah."

"DDR?"

"No."

"Monopoly?"

Thora glanced up from writing down a plot bunny that had nibbled at her brain three minutes earlier, "You have Monopoly?"

Anna nodded eagerly, "I got it from my dad for Christmas. Play?" She cocked her head in question.

While Thora cheered, Vera still looked doubtful.

"You can be the dog," offered Anna, taking advantage if the other girl's love for animals.

"Fine," Vera sighed, like a father who had finally agreed to let his children get a puppy.

But just like the puppy, this could only end in chaos.

One hour and forty-seven minutes later, Vera sat at one end of the board with only a few dollar bills to her name, Thora was sitting in jail and Anna was declaring herself the Empress of Broadwalk and Park Place and pillaging the peasants of the Mediterranean and Baltic Avenues.

"Veeeera," Anna sang out, tucking a few more bills of money into her neatly made stacks "You lost~!"

"It's only a loss when I admit defeat!" The girl announced passionately as she pushed around the dollar bills into the shapes of evil happy faces, "And I never shall!"

"C'mon, doubles!" Thora muttered, tossing the dice, "…Stupid four and three."

"Hey Thora," Anna nudged her, "I'll sell you my 'Get Out of Jail Free" card."

The addressee perked up, "Oh? For what?"

"The deed to Pacific Avenue."

"Don't give it to her, Thora!" Vera wailed, "She's evil! _Eviiiil ~_!"

"But Thora," Anna whispered like a demon on her shoulder, "What are the chances of you rolling doubles? This could be your only chance…"

"…Okay."

"NOOOOO! Traitor!" whined Vera.

"And as for you, my dear little Vera, I can pull you out of debt."

"I won't give in!"

"And I will ask very little in return…"

"Lies!"

"Except that if we all get chosen for the exchange program to Japan, you have to pretend to be a guy."

"Huh," Vera pondered this. All three of them had applied to the same exchange program, but the chances of Vera getting in were low. A straight 'C' grade student, it would be hard for her to catch up to Anna (an artist who was part of the school district's Gifted program) and Thora (who got straight 'A's and loved to meet new people and be social).

What were the chances of her getting in anyways?

"Sure. Gimmee four grand."

A Cheshire Cat grin appeared on Anna's face and suddenly Vera and Thora realized that nothing good would come of this game.

After two weeks, an e-mail was sent announcing the chosen students.

Thora read it and clapped her hands in delight, then raced off to tell her parents and little sister the news.

Vera stared at the screen in shock and horror and quickly came up with various excuses to try and get rid of her promise.

And Anna smirked at the names and decided that the fifty dollars she bribed the instructors with was _very_ well spent.

-^o_o^-

"I'm on a plane, and, it's going fast, and, I've got an aerial theme-"

"Shut up, Francis," Anna smiled, "People will get mad if you swear while you continue to sing your fun new version of 'I'm On a Boat'." Mysteriously, she had managed to say all of this in one very short breath.

"Whatever."

"Also, Francis?"

"Yes, Anna?"

"Dibs on the window seat."

"Oh, screw you!"

"Welcome to Kobe, Japan. We hope that your flight was comfortable and wish that you enjoy your trip to Land of the Rising Sun."

"They're so polite!" exclaimed Anna as they passed by the flight attendant, "Do you think they'd still be like that if I punched them in the face?"

"Like that would do anything with your weak little arms," Francis mumbled.

The tan girl stared at the other girl who was practically sparkling with enthusiasm, "…Anna?" Thora asked her groggily.

"Yes?"

"How much sleep did you get on the plane?"

"Sleep is for the weak!"

"How many of your jellybeans did you eat?"

"…All of them?"

"Ah."

With a spontaneous spin the air, the candy-addict whirled around happily. "C'mon, Francis!" The blonde grabbed her faux-male friend and dragged her along, "Let's go to the hotel! It's off to Namimori tomorrow!"

"…Go die in a hole."

"What's that song again? Midori tanabiku, Namimori no~! Ha ha-" At that moment Anna collapsed onto Francis' shoulder, "Es affticato…"

"Pain in the ass," Francis muttered, but she still helped the now semi-conscious Anna into their cab.

Namimori was their destination tomorrow. There they would meet their host families and see their new school. Thora and Francis would deal with a wide language gap and Anna would only fair a bit better than them.

But for now, they would sleep.

-^o_o^-

"'The Sasagawa's have two children. Ryohei is eighteen and the extreme leader of the boxing club. Kyoko is seventeen and loves Home Economics. Mr. and Mrs. Sasagawa are office workers.'" Anna glanced at the photo showing a suburban-like house, two adults, a white haired teenager with a bandage over his nose and a slightly younger girl with orange-ish hair, "Huh. 'Extreme' is an odd choice of adjective."

A hand smacked her on the head, "Don't be such a Grammar Nazi," Thora scolded her, "'The Yamamoto family runs a sushi shop. Takeshi Yamamoto, the son, is seventeen and his passionate about baseball. His father is the chef and is a practitioner of kendo.' They sound so perfect," Thora said dreamily, "Sushi and baseball? Can this get any better?" She looked at the picture, "Oh my God, he's so hot!"

"The father?" Anna asked perkily.

"No, you sick pervert, the son! Look at him!" Thora shoved the photo at Anna and Francis.

"He _is_…" Francis stared greedily at the image of young man while Anna shrugged.

"Sure. How about you, Franny?"

"Don't call me that!" Francis hissed, "'The Kusakabe's daughter has already left for university, leaving behind Mr. and Mrs. Kusakabe and their son Tetsuya. Tetsuya is eighteen and the vice-president of the Student Disciplinary Committee at Namimori High School.' What's a Disciplinary Committee?"

The more feminine girls shook their heads. "They make sure students are wearing the uniform properly and not breaking the rules and such. Like prefects at Hogwarts." Thora explained.

"Ohhh, I see."

"…What kind of disciplinary methods do they use?"

"I know what I want them to use…"

"Ah-hem!" Their vice-principal sitting across from them in their train compartment cleared his throat, "Change of subject, please."

"Sorry Stevie," Thora and Francis twitched at the knowledge that Anna was on a first-name basis with a teacher. Anna's father was a teacher who was best friends with both of the vice-principals at their school, "What do they look like?"

Francis pulled out the picture and stared at it in horror, "That hair. It will haunt my nightmares _forever_."

"Lemme see!" Thora snatched it away, "It's like Elvis but BIGGER."

Eagerly, Anna peered over Thora's arm, "He looks like a salsa dancer. Can't you just imagine him with a rose in his mouth and-"

"'Kay, shut up now," Francis smacked her friend's hand away.

"Oww, she hit me!"

"_He_ hit you."

"That's even worse!"

"Girls!" Stevie called for their attention, "And, uh, boy. You're all prepared for this? And Vera, you're okay?"

All three nodded. After the horrible announcement that Francis would have to cross-dress, Francis figured out how to hide her curves and worked on acting like a guy. Anna said that wasn't needed because Francis was manly enough already but that conversation only ended in pain and misery. Anna also helped to teach them some survival phrases that she had learned in her Japanese classes.

An announcement came over the noise of the train, "…Namimori Eki…"

"Is us," Anna announced, pulling Thora with her. Francis and Stevie followed them onto the platform. A kindly looking woman waited for them there.

"Welcome to Namimori," she spoke softly in accented English, "I hope you'll enjoy your stay here. If there is anything you need, please don't hesitate to ask."

"She's so polite!" Anna gasped again, "I feel bad now. We should've brought gifts."

"We did bring gifts, remember?" Thora poked her in the side making the smaller girl squeak, "We give them to the host families."

Realization dawned in the blonde's eyes. "Ohhhh, riiiight, I knew that."

"Sure you did," Francis snarked.

"Hush you."

"Ahh, excuse me, if we go this way, we will reach the community hall where you will meet your host families." The lady cut in hesitantly

"Yay!"

-^o_o^-

"It is EXTREMELY nice to meet you, foreign sister!"

Thora stared at the guy in front of her who was bowing to her vigorously, "I… think you want her," she pulled over Anna, who had been hypnotized by Tetsuya Kusakabe's hair.

"I see! You look far more like the girl in the picture!" He grabbed Anna's hand and shook it happily. Anna turned around to look at Thora with a blank face and mischief in her eyes.

"This is going to be _so_ much fun."

"Don't screw around with his mind too much, Anna," Thora cautioned.

"I won't~! It is TOTALLY AWESOME to meet you, host brother mine!"

A tap on her shoulder got Thora to turn around. A guy about five inches taller than her smiled happily, "Maa, you'd be Zora Mingukoshu, right?"

She sighed, "It's 'Thora Mengelkoch'."

"Is that so? Zora… Za-hora…Ta-ho-"

"Just call me Zora."

"Alright then!" His grin widened, "I'm Yamamoto Takeshi. My dad was busy at the shop, so it's just me here."

"The sushi shop?"

"Aa."

"And you love baseball?"

"Aa."

"We're going to be _best friends_…"

-^o_o^-

"It's nice to meet you," the adult Sasagawas bowed low to Anna, "We are very pleased to have you stay in our home."

"The pleasure's mine," Anna replied smoothly, calling upon the horrible seventeen years of having manners drilled into her by her grandmother, "I must thank you for your kindness. I hope I will not be a burden."

"Don't worry about it!" Kyoko smiled at her new foreign sister, "If you want to, you can help me with dinner tonight in the kitchen!"

"Or you could jog around the neighbourhood with me, to the EXTREME!"

_Oh snap. Cooking or jogging? That's like asking me to choose between a rattlesnake and a cobra!_ She started panicking mentally; _I can't be rude to them! Oh no oh no oh no~!_

"Kyoko, Ryohei!" Their mother scolded, "The poor girl just got here! Let her settle in a bit before pouncing on her."

"Thank you for your offers…" Anna bowed low to them.

_Okaa-san, I'm going to love you forever~._

-^o_o^-

This was it. If Francis messed this up and revealed herself to be a girl, she was so screwed. She swallowed nervously and bowed to her new host family, "I am pleased to meet you," she spoke in hesitant Japanese, "My name is Francis Morgause. I hope I will not be a burden." The words Anna had force fed into her came out with few mistakes.

"We are so happy to have a Canadian student staying with us," her host father announced, "Hopefully Tetsuya will show you around your school. He _is _the vice-president of the Student Disciplinary Committee, y'know," the short and plump Japanese man proudly put his hand on his much taller son's shoulder.

"It is nice to meet you, Morugasu Furansisu," Tetsuya bowed to her, "I hope you will become as proud of your new school as we are."

_He's so nice!_ "If I may ask," she stumbled over the words, "Who is the president of the Disciplinary Committee?"

All three of the Kusakabes paled a bit, "Hibari Kyoya is the president," Tetsuya answered.

_Are they scared of him? Is he super scary or super hot? I must solve this new mystery! I shall become 'L'! Bwahahahaha!_

-^o_o^-

"I'll see you two later!" Thora gave her friends each a hug, "Be nice, don't bite and no screwing around with the minds of gullible people!"

"But I already have Onii-san convinced that Tim Hortons is a mountain chain shaped like a donut and that to climb it and cross through the valley and climb through the other side is called a 'Double-Double'!" Anna whined.

"…You are a sick, horrible person." Francis told her.

"I know. It's such fun."

Thora rolled her eyes at them, "Bye guys!"

"Bye."

"Hasta!"

As Thora followed Yamamoto home, Anna turned to Francis, "Good-bye, my love. Eyes, look your last! Arms, take your last embrace! And lips-"

"Shut up and go!"

"You wound me. I shall take my leave," One last hug and Anna went off with her new host family."

"Well, let's go then," Tetsuya smacked Francis on the shoulder and they got into the Kusakabe's car.

-^o_o^-

"This is my father," Yamamoto introduced Thora, "And this is the shop," Thora smiled happily at the man standing by her in front of the building that was to be her new home.

"It's nice to meet you!" The man shouted happily, "Are you a sushi girl? Do you like kendo? Or are you baseball lover like my son?"

Thora stared at the man with wide eyes before bursting into tears and hugging the man to the two boys shock.

"Otou-san! I'm going to be very happy here!"

-^o_o^-

"This is your extreme room!" Ryohei shouted happily, tossing Anna's bags to the floor. Fortunately she kept her precious books in the suitcase she was carrying and only clothes were in the other bags.

Anna took the room in. It was medium size with a single bed, small wardrobe with a mirror and a desk. There was plenty of room for stacking books and pacing. And best of all…

"I'm sorry that there's no window in your room," Kyoko apologized, "It used to be a storage room."

No sun to fade her books or wake her up in the morning.

"It's perfect, Onii-san, Onee-san."

-^o_o^-

Francis flopped down on the carpeted floor of her room and glanced around. The room used to be the daughters before she left for university. The best thing was that she had her own bathroom connected, meaning no awkward problems when she had her period.

"Should I leave you to get settled in?" Tetsuya asked.

"Sure. I'm actually just going to sleep," Francis informed him.

His host brother nodded, "I understand. I'll see you in the morning, then."

"Good night."

As the door shut, Francis pulled on a baggy t-shirt and boxers. Getting under the covers of her new bed, she smiled to herself.

_Maybe this won't be all that bad._


	2. Thora

_I got reviews! I got reviews! Yaaa~y! *Throws five minute dance party* Thank you for the reviews! And I'm sorry about how the first bit of the story probably sounds kind of weird. Thora is too flowery to write properly._

_Still totally don't own KHR. Le sigh._

---^o_o^---

It was already bright out when Thora woke up the next day. Glancing at the clock she noticed that it was already past noon.

"Stupid jetlag," she muttered, "Already lost half of the day."

She rolled over onto her stomach and smiled. It was almost unbelievable. She was in Japan, along with Anna and Francis and they were going to be there for a year to attend school.

For Thora, to be in Japan meant a chance to gain a second language and add on pretty things to her university application, and to see a place that her mother had been when she was modeling.

To Anna, Japan meant being away from her home and having new things to discover. She was bored of being somewhere she knew so well and wanted to be in a place that forced her to relearn everything.

Francis only thought of Japan as a place where anime merchandise was cheap and boys who actually took care of their appearances were. It was also where Anna and Thora would be, and, as much as she hated to admit it, she wanted to be wherever they were.

Instead of getting up and eating, Thora decided to mull over this for awhile. Anna's need to be free and her unquenchable curiosity; Francis' love for a different culture and yearning to be with those she had grown close to; and her own want for something to allow her to reach more education.

She smiled to herself. If Anna was here she'd be saying that Thora was being too preachy again and needed to get back down to Earth. It tended to show up in her writing, too. Usually her words involved people questioning whether they were right or wrong, if there was a God, if they were in the neutral grey. Was it wrong for her characters to question everything?

As she thought about she got up and moved over to her Macbook where she had left it charging on the floor. Opening it, she set forth to write what she was thinking about. Her fingers flew across the keys as she began to create a new world.

People were created from distant ideals and feelings. A place showed up as words spread across the screen, coming from a vague image on the back of her eyelids. A single word and a character fell in love for the first time. Another and an old man died alone in his tiny apartment, dreaming of the love he had lost so many years before.

It was a kind of power, she decided, to create a world like this. The kind of power that could evoke emotions and made real people cry and laugh and growl with every sentence. It was grand. It was _beautiful_.

A loud BEEP next to her startled out of her thoughts. Glancing towards her cellphone, she noticed that she had a new text message:

**My 'Thora is Being Preachy' senses started tingling. Head out of the clouds and git chur arse outta bed, woman. Jet lag is no excuse.**

**-Anna the Fantabulous**

Another BEEP occurred:

**Is Anna sending you annoying text messages too? Make her stop!**

**-My Name Is VERA, Damn It**

A sigh escaped her while she picked up the phone to text them back. She could write and become creator of hundred worlds, but in the end she still played babysitter to her two best friends.

---^o_o^---

"Maa, you're finally up!" Yamamoto grinned at her as she wandered into the kitchen area, "Otou-san said you would probably have jet lag."

"Yeah, it was my first time flying, so…" She paused, "What's for eating?"

"We have natto!"

"Oh, I want to try that! What is it?"

"Natto is natto."

"I… see…?"

A few minutes later she stared at the cup in horror. All of those sticky, brown beans staring up at her with their non-existent eyeballs, mocking her, '_Are you going to eat me? Too scared?'_. "Oh God," she whimpered, "What is it?!"

Yamamoto just laughed, "Don't worry, I can't handle it either! Only Tou-san can. Here, we have some rice and miso soup left over." He got up to go get the named items.

"Th-thank you," feeling a bit embarrassed, Thora fidgeted in her seat. Normally she liked Japanese food, but natto was just, as her friends would say, brain-nomming EVIL. Who could eat fermented soy beans? Were they even organic?

Fortunately the rice and soup were more than edible. The new challenge, though, was chopsticks. She eventually gave and just used them to scoop the rice and drank the soup straight out of the bowl, Yamamoto laughing at her the whole time.

"I didn't realize that having a foreigner here would be so amusing!" He gave her another grin, "I wonder how Sasagawa and Kyoko-chan are handling it?"

"Are they friends of yours?" She questioned. That would be lucky, since she often had to keep an eye on the blonde.

"Yeah, we are. Which one do they have again?"

"They have Anna," Thora sighed and shook her head, "She probably has them convinced that the Canadian flag has a maple leaf on it because maple syrup is Canada's national drink, or something like that."

Her host brother's eyes widened, "Is that true?!"

Thora's head hit the table, _Oh joy, we got the gullible ones_. With a sigh she brought it back up, "No, it's not. Don't take _anything_ Anna says seriously. She enjoys manipulating people too much. Francis and I are good, though."

"Maa, I'll keep that in mind," he nodded and pulled out the miniature flag Cooper, Thora's younger sister, had made for her to give out, "So why is there a maple leaf on it?"

"Uhh…" She searched her mind for last years studies in Socials, but very little came up. Summer was very good with disposing of unneeded info like that. Quickly pulling out her cell, she texted the question to Anna. The answer was back almost immediately:

**There was a contest in 1965 and that design won. Ha ha, I'm smarter than the straight-A student! *sticks out tongue***

**-Anna the Genius**

Maybe it was a mistake to ask the arrogant one, but Francis wasn't even in Socials 11 the year before, having failed Socials 10 thanks to Anna, the one with the memory of an elephant. How does she memorize those things anyway? The girl could recite the entire political history of Canada but could never remember to eat. And how could Francis have the entire spellbook-thing of World of Warcraft ingrained in her head but have no idea what the capital of Saskatchewan is? Thora shook her head. Her friends were a conundrum. At least she was simple to understand. She relayed the answer back to Yamamoto who nodded.

"Maa, we're having a welcome party here for you all tomorrow," he suddenly remembered, "We'll be having Tsuna and our other friends over too. We tried to get Hibari to come, but he hates crowds to much and threatened to bite me to death when I asked him."

"What?" Thora asked, confused, "What does that word mean? Ka-mi-ko-ro-su?"

"Oh, he said he'd, uh," he waved his hands around a bit, trying to think of a way to explain, "'Bite'," he mimed biting, "'Me'," he pointed to himself, "'Dead'," pulling on his collar, he tilted his head and stuck out his tongue. Thora clapped her hands.

"Ohhh, I see now."

"Good!" He grinned.

She tapped her chin with her finger, "He's not a nice person, then."

Yamamoto rubbed his neck, "Maa, if he doesn't like you, he'll beat you up with his tonfas. He's the head prefect at school and hates people who don't take the rules seriously or mess with the order in this town."

Thora knew what tonfas were, with her father's love of Japanese movies and martial arts. Nervously she began to plan a way to keep Francis, who was too lazy to care about rules, and Anna, who loved to create disorder, far, far away from this person. A meeting would only create mass amounts of destruction, misery and pain. For whom, Francis and Anna or this Hibari person, she wasn't sure. Those two could be rather vicious. She quickly smiled, "A party sounds awesome. I'll have to call Anna and force her to come, though. She hates parties as much as this Hibari seems to."

"Maybe we should introduce them?" He joked.

"Only if you want her to either decide that she hates him and taunt and yell at him until he, what's that word?, 'bites her to death', or have fall totally in love with him and stalk him until either accepts her or once again bites her to death."

"…Maybe not. She doesn't do things half-way, ne?"

"Nope. It's one way or the other with her."

---^o_o^---

The creation of the webcam was a marvelous thing. Now Thora could see both Francis' excitement and Anna's reluctance from her own room above the sushi shop. It was evening and Thora had just informed the two that attendance to the party was mandatory. For Francis, not a problem. For Anna, huge problem.

"Can't I just pop in for five minutes and meet everyone, then leave? I'm currently reading a wonderful book-"

"That you will end up finishing tonight instead of sleeping," Francis cut in.

"I have more books that need reading."

"Anna, these people are throwing a party for _us_, you can't just skip out on them like that," Thora scolded her, "It would be rude and hurt their feelings."

"Don't guilt trip me, woman, I know where you sleep!"

"Not anymore."

"Well, since you're forcing me to attend this _party_," the grumpy blonde spat the word like a curse, "I will be finding out. I need to read my book. I'm out." Anna's side of the screen disappeared as she shut down her laptop.

"What a frickin' misanthrope," Francis growled, "Seriously, would it hurt her to just socialize for once?"

"You know what 'misanthrope' means?" Thora joked.

"Yes I do! It was in _Backstage Prince_ so I looked it up!"

"I suppose an education through manga is better than no education with you."

"Mean!"

"Yup. How's the deception going?"

Francis smirked, "This is actually kind of fun. I have my own bathroom, so it's easier to pull this off, and being a guy is way easier than being a girl. If I was a girl, I'd have been dragged shopping with Okaa-san. As a guy, I sat around playing video games with Otou-san while Onii-san went out to do some prefect work."

"Prefect work?" Thora's eyes widened, "So he works with that brutal Hibari guy?"

"Brutal? Onii-san wouldn't tell me about him."

Thora passed on what she had heard from Yamamoto to the other girl, "I wanted to keep you away from him, given your lack of care for the rules, but I guess that's impossible now."

"Meh. I can take him. We should introduce him to Anna; maybe he could beat her lippy-ness out of her."

"Yeah, right. We've met her brothers. It's genetic."

"True," Something seemed to occur to the dark eyed girl, "Oh! When will we be having our RPG nights? We didn't get to finish our _Call of Cthulhu_ game before we left."

"We'll figure that out later. I'm too tired. Goodnight."

"Fine. 'Night."

---^o_o^---

The party was actually rather nice, Thora decided. She stood near Yamamoto after meeting all of his friends. Tsuna was nice. He came with his cousin, Reborn, a little boy who spoke very articulately for age four and claimed that he was a hitman. Kids were so cute at that age! Gokudera was rather odd, not seeming to like anyone here but Tsuna and Reborn.

Ryohei, Kyoko and Anna arrived with another girl named Haru. The girls were a bit too domesticated, immediately heading to the kitchen help out, but Thora accepted it as part of the culture clash. There was also Lambo, an obnoxious young boy with a love for cows, and I-Pin, a cute Chinese girl. Bianchi was Gokudera's older sister (they didn't seem to get along, with Gokudera running out of the room whenever he saw her) and Kusakabe appeared with Francis shortly after she arrived.

"Hey, how about some sake?" Yamamoto asked her, holding up a bottle.

"Ooo, yes!" Thora answered happily until Anna appeared at her shoulder.

"No alcohol for you or Francis," she ordered, "It's nasty stuff that will only lead you to do embarrassing things, like giving old men lap dances."

A red tinge appeared on the tan girl's face, "You must always bring that up, mustn't you?"

"Always. Yama-kun," Anna pointed at her newly nicknamed friend, "If I find out that either of my persons of consumed that drink then I will put the blame on you and act accordingly." With that, the pale blonde stalked off to her loner corner.

"Maa, she doesn't like to have fun, does she?" Yamamoto mused.

"She does, she just hates having lots of people around," Thora corrected him, "She'd rather be playing video games, or dancing, or shelving books. And she's just looking out for us."

"Sure," Yamamoto poured himself a small cup when Francis appeared.

"Can I have some?" She asked, pointing to the cup.

"Too late," Thora sighed, "Anna has already put down the law on it."

"Screw her!" Francis reached for the bottle but Anna returned, placing a small plate of sushi in her friend's hand.

"Eat, don't drink."

"Anna, are you alright?" The mother-like one of them asked. Anna's face had gone even paler than usual (a rare sight to see) and seemed to be having difficulties breathing.

"I'm okay, just need some air," Anna waved the concerns away weakly, "There's just too many people here."

"Don't run away."

"I won't…" the petite girl slipped through the crowd and out the door unnoticed by most.

Once she was gone, Francis reached for the alcohol, "Now we can drink!"

---^o_o^---

Being alone outside was much better than being inside. Anna walked around the block, with a blank face on. Actually, she liked being inside just as much, but without too many people. But this was nicer; she needed to get a hold of her bearings and figure out her way around the neighbourhood in case of trouble. She was weak in a fight so she needed to be able to know where to run. It was her survival instinct; her need to never die in any way but old age. For Thora's sake she would only go around the block, but the temptation to head home was there.

As she turned a corner, Anna noticed a young man with black hair walking the street. He had the air of a cat, she noted, the way he moved with something like prideful grace and had the smirk of someone who ruled over everyone. The guy noticed her look and glowered at her, which she returned with a polite smile. This made him stopped in front of her.

"You're one of our foreign students," he spoke bluntly with a cold tone.

Anna nodded and bowed, "My name is Anna Weeks. It's a pleasure to meet you."

Instead of bowing back, he just glared at her more, "You'll be going to my school. I'll have you know that if you disturb the peace there, I will bite you to death."

"I'm so scared," Anna yawned, "I'll keep that in mind," She turned to walk away but his hand shot out grabbed her wrist before slamming her into the wall behind her. The young man's grey-blue eyes were right in front of her and icy cold.

"Do not take me lightly, herbivore. If you damage my school, I will destroy you."

"Herbivore?" Anna questioned, "What are we, lesser mammals? Who are you, anyways?"

His grip tightened, "I will rip that tongue of yours out if you can't hold it in properly," he threatened her.

All she did was roll her eyes, "I have three bad-tempered older brothers, y'know. I'm not afraid of words, Person-Who-Won't-Give-Me-His-Name."

In response, he pulled a tonfa out from seemingly nowhere and slammed it into her stomach, "My name is Kyoya Hibari. Remember my name," he hit her again, making her wince, "And don't ever come near me again." Hibari pushed her to the ground and stalked off.

Anna lay on the ground for a minute, not moving, before lifting her arm and poking herself in the stomach, "Ow?" she asked quietly, dropping the limb. Sitting up against the wall, she remained that way for another minute or two.

"…Grey-blue eyes are odd for someone Japanese," she murmured at last and picked herself up to go back to the party.

---^o_o^---

Anna knew something was wrong as soon as she turned the corner. The music had been turned up louder and neighbours were leaning out their windows and sending nasty glances towards the restaurant. Quickening her pace, she slipped through the doorway.

Inside, to her horror, was Thora, drunkenly dancing on the tabletops only half as clothed as before. She continued to peel off the articles of clothing to a few cat calls and bouts of laughter. Francis was leaning against the wall, feeling a bit a tipsy, and noticed Anna walk in with a murderous look towards her. She sheepishly beckoned her pissed off friend over.

"Okay," she mumbled as Anna stood in front of her, arms crossed over her chest, "Maybe it is a bad idea to drink."

"Damn right it is. How much have you had?"

"About two or three cups."

"Tho?"

"Five or six."

Anna sighed and shook her head, much like Thora had many times before, "Whatever. I'll deal with you both tomorrow."

With that, she stormed over to the blasting stereo, glowered at it and kicked the 'off' button with the toe of her boots and roared at the top of her lungs:

"PARTY'S OVER, BITCHES!"

---^o_o^---

Thora woke up with a horrible headache the next morning. She glared at the sun shining through the window, moaned, and began to bury herself back into her pillow when she noticed a weight at the end of her bed.

"Good morning, Thora!" Anna greeted her with a lilting voice.

_Bad sign, bad sign, bad sign-!_ The curvier girl pulled herself up despite her pounding head, "What happened last night?" She asked tiredly.

"You drank the sake!" Was the chirpy reply, "And while I was out on a walk, you pulled down your leggings in front of Gokkun-" Apparently Yamamoto wasn't the only one to receive a nickname, "Asked him if he wanted a lap dance and proceeded to get on the tables and strip-dance your heart out until I got back!"

"Oh, no," Thora whimpered.

"Oh, yes!" Anna smiled down at her best friend, "So, the question is-" the blonde picked up a metal soup ladle and a pot and began banging them to emphasize her now shouted words, "Did you have fun?! Did you have fun!?"

"Oh, God, make it stop!" Thora pulled the covers over her head and tried to ignore the horrible noise.

_I'm never drinking around Anna again._

---^o_o^---

_Fact number one: Hibari is a spotlight stealer. Fact number two: Anna is a spotlight stealer. Fact number three: putting the two together makes twice as much spotlight stealing. Poor Thora. This chapter was supposed to ALL hers._

_(Fact number four: reviewing means you get to join in the 'I-Got-Reviews-Yay!' Dance Party and get cookies. :3)_


	3. Francis

_Thanks for the reviews! (Real subtle, Mo. Reeeeeal subtle.)_

_Still not owning KHR. Damn it._

---^o_o^---

"Ennnnnh…" Francis whined as she dragged her feet behind Kusakabe, "That break was too short. Can't we go back to bed?"

Kusakabe scowled at her, "As part of the Disciplinary Committee I can't let you do that. It's against the rules to skip."

"Mehhh…" she whined again before shutting up and trudging towards the school gate. It was too early for her to be able to function properly! Adjusting her sloppily done tie, she fidgeted in her uncomfortable overbust corset that was designed for her by Anna, Thora and Thora's mother to hide her breasts and curves. It all looked rather convincing. Reaching up, she gently patted her eyebrow ring. Due to some stupid school rule, facial piercings weren't allowed, so she had gotten an acrylic ring to hide it. Stupid Anna's cartilage ring (also banned) could easily be hidden with hair. Whatever. The piercing was worth it.

As they approached the school building, Francis gave it an appraising eye. There were two buildings about three stories high and cream coloured. Shaking her head, she remembered her own school back home: it was built on a hill so it had two stories up front, one story in the middle and a ramp heading up another in the back. Not to mention a few cabins turned into shop classes. Seeing this school made her own look rather crappy.

"An EXTREMELY good morning to you!" came a boisterous shout from behind them. The two turned to see Ryohei, Kyoko, Tsuna and Anna behind them on the sidewalk, the first being his ever loud and vibrant self while Kyoko and Tsuna chatted happily to each other and Anna read a book. The last looked up and smiled happily.

"Good morning, Francis!" She greeted perkily, "Is it not a wonderful day?"

"Fuck you, you fucking morning person," Francis grumbled and continued towards the school.

"Don't walk away from me, my loooo~ve!" shouted Anna as she pounced on to her faux-boy friend's back.

As the two foreigners caused chaos ahead, Kusakabe grinned and greeted Ryohei, receiving an enthusiastic response as usual.

"Ah, Kusakabe! We must have another fight soon!" Ryohei declared, "It's been too long!"

"Perhaps," Kusakabe agreed vaguely as they caught up the foreign girls and turned into the school gate, "I'll take Weeks with me to the office, if you would like to go to your classes now," he offered.

"Mo?" Anna questioned, only having caught her name from where she was on Francis' back (the very patient friend was now giving her a piggyback ride), "What was that?"

"You're coming with me."

"To your evil alien leader?"

"No."

"Aww, but he's so purdy~"

That stopped the others from walking, "You've met Hibari-san?!" Tsuna cried out in alarm.

"Yeah, when I went for a walk during the party," playing with Francis' hair, she continued on, "I figured he must be an alien, because his eyes are weird and he wants to bite people. Obviously he's trying to bite people to infect them with a parasite so we will all become his mindless minions and he will rule the world!"

All of the people familiar with Hibari stared at her in horror, except Kyoko.

"But Hibari-san is really nice!" She objected, "He's helped Onii-san before, and he never complains about the food Haru and I make, and he's helped out the family a lot!"

Shocked silence surrounded them until Anna whispered in horror, "She's already one of _them_."

"Why don't we head to the office?" Kusakabe nervously said.

"Get off of me," Francis growled, dropping Anna.

"Mo…!" The littler girl whined, as she stood up, "That hurt."

"Whatever."

"I'll see you all later!" Shouted Ryohei, "Don't forget that you should join the Boxing Club!"

"Sorry, Onii-san, no upper body strength," Anna answered.

"I'm too lazy, but thanks for the offer," Francis yawned and they followed Kusakabe to the office.

There, the secretary looked up at them with little interest, "Good to see that you already have the uniforms," she commented dryly, "Here is your class number and its schedule and a clubs list for you each. Normally we would have you give a speech at an assembly, but the head prefect has deemed it unnecessary. Please enjoy your time at Namimori High."

"Hey, Ku-san, I heard something from Onee-san," Anna poked the prefect as they walked down the hallway, "Aren't these uniforms the ones of the junior high? Didn't they switch?"

Kusakabe nodded, "Yes, Kyo-sama had them switch when he came here. He also requested that the buildings be switched too. This is actually the old second-years building of Namimori Middle School."

"So he has the school officials infected as well?!"

"Oh gosh, why did she have to come up with that?" Francis complained, "Now she'll never stop!"

"Infected with what?" Came a cold voice from an alcove just before them. Stepping out of it was Hibari.

"Your alien vir-mmph!" Kusakabe placed his hand over the girl's mouth.

"A cold, Kyo-sama, she heard the secretary give a small cough," he quickly came up with an excuse.

"Hm," glancing over to Francis, he scowled, "Another of the foreigners? I hope you aren't as lippy as her. I had to give a short beating to make her shut up."

Francis blinked slowly, "You… hit her?"

The skylark raised his eyebrow, "Do you want to avenge your girlfriend's honor?" He mocked.

"Oh, gosh, no, she's not my girlfriend!" She raised her hands, "In fact, hit her more! She needs it!"

Anna glanced about them with wide, sad eyes, "You-you all are so mean to me!" She wailed, "Thooooraaaa~!" She took off back down the hallway.

"Hn. What a weakling," Hibari smirked and turned away, "Kusakabe, make sure this one isn't late to his classes," he ordered, "And if that other girl is, send her to me," his next comment was given with such a terrifying tone that the other two shivered, "I'll deal with her _personally_." He walked away.

Kusakabe and Francis stood paralyzed for a moment in the hallway, neither daring to move. Francis was the first to recover.

"He wants to deal with her personally?" She mused, "I think somebody has a crush!"

Poor Kusakabe wound up choking on his oxygen.

---^o_o^--- 

Tsuna settled into his seat with slight discomfort. Though over time he had grown used to odd things happening to him, the arrival of the new girls worried him. Under his desk he stroked the Vongola Sky ring. He didn't want Reborn to end up forcing him to add them to the family.

"Tenth! What's wrong?!" Gokudera shouted as he rushed in the door and over to Tsuna, "You look worried! Is anyone bothering you?! I'll get rid of them-"

"No, no, Gokudera, it's alright!" Tsuna waved his hands, "I was just thinking!"

"About the new students, right?" Kyoko chimed in from her desk behind Tsuna (the Vongola boss still blessed the day the teacher had given out the seating arrangements), "Don't worry too much! Anna has already settled in fine."

Gokudera twitched, "They won't be in our classes, right?" Still remembering the party, his eye twitched uncontrollably.

"We don't know…" Tsuna trailed off as the rest of the class came in. Soon, their Math teacher was up at the front. The class stood and bowed to her before settling down and the teacher began to give an announcement.

"Our class has been given the honor of having all three of the foreign exchange students join us," Gokudera smacked his head in his desk. The teacher glared at him, "I hope you will _all_ treat them with respect."

On cue, the classroom door slid open. Francis walked in, shoulders slumped and a frown on her face. Thora followed behind with a smile a brisk pace. Anna came right after, clinging to Thora's hand and grinning.

"Oh, that guy is so hot!"

"Woah, check out the curves on the brunette!"

"Eee! The blonde is so cute~!"

Thora sighed and turned to class, "Please don't say those things about Anna," she pleaded, "Her ego is big enough as it is."

"And don't say those things about Francis," Anna warned, "I own his body."

"You own nothing of me!"

"Ah-hem," the teacher interrupted, "If you might introduce yourselves?"

"Right!" Anna pumped her fist into the air, "My name is Anna Weeks! I'm seventeen years old, and like books! Please treat me kindly!" She bowed low to the class.

Sighing yet again, Thora bowed as well, "My name is Thora Mengelkoch. I'm seventeen and have to constantly babysit these two. Please treat me kindly."

"My name is Francis Morgause," the not-boy paused as she bowed to let a few girls squeal, "I am seventeen and like to play video games. Please treat me kindly."

"Your seats are those ones in the corner by the window," the teacher waved her hand lazily towards the back and began to shuffle her notes to begin the class.

"Dibs on back seat!" Francis grinned, pushing Anna aside and sliding into the seat, "Hello~" she gave a charming grin to the girl next to her, causing the girl squee and faint.

"Not fair," muttered Anna, kicking Francis' shin as she sat down in the desk in front of her and pouted. Thora just groaned and smacked her head before taking the last one available. They finally quieted down after the lesson began

---^o_o^---

Tsuna wasn't sure how the windows were broken in the middle of the math lesson, or how the classroom was now half destroyed, but he was sure it had something to do with Gokudera and Francis having a paper fight. It might've escalated when Anna pounced on Thora to ask her to explain something, but ended up slipping and knocking over Yamamoto who fell into Gokudera. After that it got a bit fuzzy, but somehow both Ryohei and Hibari came in and decided to "Have an EXTREME boxing lesson"/"Bite everyone to death". Somehow Thora ended up kick-boxing with Ryohei, Francis dived on top of Hibari, Gokudera pulled out his dynamite and threatened to blow everyone up if Tsuna was hurt, and Anna tripped into him and accidentally set off the bombs.

Fortunately Yamamoto had gotten him out of there in time, and no one was really hurt (though Anna was whining for fifteen minutes about how her 'angelic face' was scratched until it turned out to be a piece of red thread), and Hibari only really beat up Gokudera and Ryohei and informed the rest of them that if the room wasn't repaired by the next day, everyone else would suffer. School was canceled for the second years after this incident, though, so they all mysteriously wound up at the Sawada residence, with the exception of Kyoko, who stayed to look after her brother.

The tenth Vongola boss was also never really sure why that seemed to keep on happening.

"Your mom is so nice, Tsuna!" exclaimed Francis, "It's kind of creepy. Is this a gingerbread house, by any chance?"

"What?" Tsuna asked, confused.

"She's referring to a fairy tale where a witch who lives in a gingerbread is really kind to a couple of children, but really plans to eat them," Thora explained.

"My mom is not a witch!"

"Ciaossu," Reborn greeted them from Tsuna's bed when they entered the bedroom, "I see Loser Tsuna has brought his friends home."

"Hey! That's rude!" Anna scolded.

_Wow, Anna is really a nice person!_ Thought Tsuna, _Everyone must be exaggerating about how mean she is…_

"I'm not Tsunayoshi's friend!" She finished cheerfully, not noticing Tsuna's crushed expression.

"Anna!" Thora and Francis simultaneously hit the blonde.

Gokudera twitched and glared at Anna, "You just can't comprehend the greatness of the Tenth!"

"Why do you call him 'the Tenth'?" Francis questioned suspiciously.

"Because Tsuna is going to be the Tenth head of the Vongola mafia family."

"Reborn!" Squealed Tsuna, "Don't tell them that!"

"Maa, are you going to try and recruit them to the role-play game too?" Yamamoto grinned and sat on the floor, "It's really fun! You should join in."

"Oh! Oh! I want to join! Pick me~!" Francis waved her hands up in the air eagerly.

Nodding, Reborn eyed the false-boy up, "You're obviously strong. We could use some brute muscle in the family," he turned to Thora, "I've seen you kick-boxing- you can join too," at last he turned to Anna, who cocked her head expectantly. Reborn paused for a moment before turning away, "I see nothing of use in you."

"But, I'm good at… umm…" she pulled on her cheek, "Being cute?"

"There is no cute in the mafia."

"You're cute!" Thora objected. Reborn pulled out a gun and pointed it at her.

"No, I'm devilishly handsome."

_Is he joking or not?!_ Tsuna began to panic internally, "I'm sure we can find something for Anna to do for us!" He pacified the group, _Oh wait! This is exactly what I didn't want to happen!_

As Anna plopped down next to Yamamoto, the baseball fanatic pat the girl on the head, "You can be Francis' pet, like how Mukuro has Chrome!"

"Mukuro?"

"Yeah, he's another member of the family! He uses illusions and has to possess Chrome because his own body is in a prison. Also, his hair looks like a pineapple."

"Is he hot?" Francis asked eagerly, forgetting her disguise. The guys in the room recoiled in shock and disgust.

"Geh?! Francis has competition?!" Anna shouted, trying to cover up her friend's mistake. No way was she going to let a slip of the tongue spoil her amusement at Francis' expense.

Quickly, Francis managed to catch on, "Yeah! Did you see the ways the girls looked at me? No way am I letting anyone else in on my action!" The other young men seemed to relax.

"Phew," Gokudera sighed and patted his new not-enemy on the back, "I thought you were a queer or something for a minute there."

"What would be wrong with him being gay?!" Anna demanded, outraged, "What does gender matter?!"

"It would be weird!"

"Y'know, I think Gokkun's the queer one! Always fawning over Tsunayoshi, promising to beat up anyone who threatens him, and such…"

"My respect for the Tenth is pure!"

"And like skittles: _Taste the rainbow_!"

"Why, you-!"

As they fought, Reborn turned away from the group and smirked. Something he had sensed was wrong just clicked into place.

Francis started to shift around and fidget. Talks about homosexuality always made her feel awkward, "Hey, guys," she interrupted, trying to change the subject, "What's a culture festival? Don't schools have them in the fall?"

Yamamoto gave his famous grin, "Yeah, all the classes have to come up things like food stalls and cafes and plays and haunted houses! But before that is the sports festival, which is way more fun!"

"Ooh? How so?"

"Well, there's all the usual competitions, like bread-eating contest and obstacle courses, and then there's one that's unique to Namimori, the pole-knocking competition. In that, one person is elected to sit on top of a pole while the other classes gather around and try to knock him off, with your own classmates protecting you!"

Eyes wide, Francis shook her head, "That's brutal."

Laughing, Yamamoto had to agree, "Yeah, but only the guys have to participate. Girls are usually left out."

_Damn! I could have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for that meddling Anna!_ Francis thought furiously, glaring at the blonde who had given up on bothering Gokudera to sit in Tsuna's lap, therefore succeeding in bothering him more. Glancing outside, the brunette noticed that the sun was setting, "Guys, think we should head out? It seems to be getting late."

The three foreign girls, Yamamoto and Gokudera left, saying their good-byes to Tsuna and his family. They all went their separate ways and Francis walked back to her host home. She was surprised when she noticed a motorcycle parked out on the sidewalk. _Who owns that? _She wondered, _Onii-san?_

Most unfortunately for her, she got her answer rather quickly. As she entered the hall and removed her shoes, she heard a quiet murmur of a relatively familiar voice responding to her Okaa-san's. When she came into the living room, her eye twitched uncontrollably.

"Furan-kun!" Mrs. Kusakabe indicated to the guest on the couch, "Do you know Hibari-kun?"

Hibari glanced up at the false male unconcernedly. "Yeah," Francis grimaced, "We've met."

"That's good! Tetsuya invited him for dinner."

This is going to be filled with JOY…

---^o_o^---

"Would you like any vegetables, Hibari-kun?" Mrs. Kusakabe asked the teenage boy at the end of the table.

"Just meats are fine," he spoke quietly.

Francis watched this with a slightly shocked expression, _He can be polite?_ When he noticed this, she quickly looked away and shoveled her plain rice into her mouth.

"Kaa-san, don't force things on Kyo-sama," Kusakabe protested, "If he wants something, he'll-"

A hand with chopsticks holding a piece of fried eggplant was shoved in front of the head prefect's face, "Eat it," Francis ordered, "It's good for you."

Narrowing his eyes, Hibari smacked the hand away, "If you ever put that in front of me again, I'll bite you to death."

"Eat your vegetables."

"No."

"Eat them."

"No."

"Eat-"

A pair of chopsticks flew into Francis's forehead, "Should we fight here?" Kyoya asked coldly, crossing his arms, "I would rather it be outside."

"How about we don't fight and you eat your vegetables?"

"Now, now," the host-mother tried to calm them down, "No fighting at the dinner table."

"Hmph. Yes, Okaa-san," sniffed the exchange student.

"Very well," Hibari muttered, digging into his carnivorous meal.

For the rest of the meal, Francis scowled at the boy across from her. Who did he think he was, acting like a jackass all the time? Why did they let him get away with that? He couldn't be as strong as they made him out to be.

After the meal, while Hibari was preparing to leave, Francis walked up to him, "Kyoya Hibari!" She shouted, pointing at him, "I challenge you to an arm-wrestling contest!" It was her ultimate tactic; she had a long record of stealing men's pride with her arm-wrestling skills.

He cocked an eyebrow and followed her into the living room, where they sat down at the low table. Francis raised an arm, Hibari copying her and they joined hands. Within a second, the head prefect slammed her hand against the table. Francis looked the hands in shock.

"I-I wasn't ready!" She shouted, "Rematch!"

"Alright," he smirked as he let her prepare herself, "Ready?"

She tensed her muscles, "Ready."

SLAM! Once again, her hand met the wood of table.

"I have no time for this," standing up, Hibari walked out to the entrance and began putting on his shoes. Running out of the living room behind him was Francis, vexed and humiliated.

"I want a rematch!"

"So you can lose again?"

"I won't lose!"

"I doubt that," he glared at her before walking out the door, "If you're late to school tomorrow, I'll bite you to death."

"Have a good night, Kyo-sama!" Kusakabe called from behind the steaming crossdresser. She stewed in her anger for another two seconds before bursting out at the top of her lungs:

"THIS MEANS WAR!"

---^o_o^---

_So Francis has had her chapter, and gotten to begin her UBER-TASTIC RIVALRY OF TOTALLY AWESOME-NESS with Hibari. Fun times ahead. Next chapter for Anna!_

_Reviews = joy. _


	4. Anna

_Stop! Anna time! The chaotic neutral one finally gets her turn. There will be joy and pain. Lots of pain. Lots and lots and lots of pain. Enjoy. :3_

_I'm currently holding a bake sale to raise funds to buy the rights to KHR. Goods provided by Bianchi._

---^o_o^---

Anna awoke in complete darkness to the sound of music. Of course, that was just the way she preferred it. Rolling over, she smacked the snooze button on her alarm clock, her arm knocking over a stack of books while she did so. She returned to her pillows, cuddling under her four blankets and shivering.

_It's too cold in the morning, _she mentally whined, _I need more blankies_. Holding one of pillows close to her, Anna closed her eyes and began to fall asleep again.

"_Last night, I had a dream about you! In this dream, I'm dancing_…"

"Silence, you!" growling, she smacked the clock again and sat up. For a moment she let her body catch up to her mind in wakeful-ness. Afterwards she turned on her lamp and looked about.

The room was a disaster area. The wardrobe had clothes spilling out of it and her fleece pajama bottoms and slippers lay by the side of her bed. Everywhere else was books. The desk was covered in them with a small place for her to do her work and drawings. Books were in upright and fallen stacks on the floor, making it difficult for a normal person to get by.

Bibliophile, thy name is Anna Isabella Weeks.

With over five hundred books owned by the time she was fifteen and then that nearly doubled by seventeen, Anna was rather well known back home at her local bookstores. And in New York, where she had bought a rather large amount in the used-book stores, she was now infamous as the 'Goggle Girl Who Buys More Books Than Can Be Good For Her'.

She reached over to said goggles where they were lying on the side table. Holding them in her hand, she reminisced about their previous owner, her great-grandpa, 'Ada' he had been known as, who used them for welding and painting. Now they were her fashion statement, but they were still very important to her.

"-_Right beside you! It looked, like everyone was having fun_-!"

"Stupid bloody alarm…" Finally she turned it off and pulled herself out of bed. Gathering her uniform up (the winter uniform, because the summer one was too cold for her), she meandered off the bathroom to get ready.

In her hands dangled the goggles. To the seven circles of Hell with the uniform regulations- her goggles were worth more then that.

In the bathroom, she shed her nightgown and looked at herself in the mirror.

Her blonde hair (a mix of white, grey and strawberry blonde) was styled in a way inspired by a manga character. She picked up a lock and dropped it, frowning. She couldn't pull it off very well. Icy white skin showed off two dark green eyes. They were from her father, but from where he got his no one knew. She smiled again at the reflection in mirror. Altogether, the package was quite nice. Now, if she could stop being so lippy. And whiny. Her arrogance could probably go, too. Maybe even her scatterbrained ways, but that would probably take some of the fun out of her life.

Lifting her clothes onto the area by the sink, a pout came up on her face. She had been too tall for an extra-small and too skinny for a medium, so she'd had to take in her uniform. At least she could sew. Thora and Francis were lucky. They could get regular sizes. It was impossible to find clothes that fit Anna properly and those that did were too expensive. _Quit bitchin', fat people. Cheap clothes are made for your sizes_.

After dressing, she put on her bit of make-up (foundation and eyeliner), pulled her hair into two braids and placed her goggles on top of her head. She adjusted them and grinned.

_I think about my appearance too much,_ she noted, _Oh well. I can't help I'm too pretty to not love me!_

Happily, she skipped down to breakfast.

---^o_o^---

"Gooooo~d morning!" Anna shouted happily as she pranced into the kitchen. Ryohei was eating rice with egg after his morning jog and Kyoko was at the stove helping her mother cook breakfast. Settling down at the table, the blonde helped herself to some plain rice. Her picky eating habits made it hard for her to eat here, but she was getting along somehow.

Ryohei nodded cheerfully and opened his full mouth, "Mmph-mmornink!"

"Ryohei, don't talk with your mouth full!" His mother scolded, "And good morning, Anna."

"Morning, Anna! Nice goggles," Kyoko said cheerfully, "Want to try some natto, today?"

Twitching, Anna shook her head, "Only when it stops trying to eat my brains, which I doubt would be anytime soon."

Laughing, Kyoko shook her head and sat down, "It's not so bad," she smiled, pouring some tea for her foreign sister.

"It's disgusting," Ryohei muttered, having swallowed his food. Anna grinned at him.

"Has Otou-san already left for work?" She asked.

"A few hours ago," Mrs. Sasagawa said as she sat down, "Kyoko, isn't it nice to no longer be the youngest one here?"

"Yes," the orange-haired girl agreed, "Even if Anna won't tell us when her birthday is."

"I like to keep it quiet," the blonde hadn't written down her birthday on any of the forms she sent out, "It adds to my mysterious charm."

The family laughed and continued to eat, chatting idly until it was time to leave.

---^o_o^---

"If Hibari-san sees those goggles, he's going to give you a detention," Kyoko commented as they walked down the hall past the classroom where the prefects met.

"Hush, nothing will happen if nobody draws attention to me."

"Still…" Kyoko was cut off as someone came running up to them.

"Morning, guys!" Francis said cheerfully, "I'll see you in a bit!" She pushed her way into the prefects meeting room, "Hibari! I challenge you to a- hey where is he?"

"We're not obliged to tell you that," a prefect said to her, thinking that Francis was just another stupid boy.

"Then I'll beat it out of you!" Kyoko and Anna kept going towards their classroom, ignoring the loud bangs and occasional scream.

When they reached the classroom, only a few students were already there, including Hana, Kyoko's best friend and the daughter of the woman who had picked them up at the train station. While the two Japanese girls talked, Anna slipped over to the window to look outside and daydream. Hopefully Thora would be there soon to entertain her. Anna didn't like being bored. Bad things happened when she was desperate for entertainment, like bouncing on the wrong side of railings on train bridges a hundred and twenty feet in the air or pretending to be an anime character and accidentally stabbing the teacher who hated her with a mechanical pencil.

Sighing, she pressed her forehead to the window and looked about the schoolyard. More students were streaming through the gates now, and the blonde noticed her friend's host brother, Kusakabe, doing guard duty or something. She briefly wondered the possible ways of convincing the committee to don the Buckingham Palace Guard uniforms but was interrupted by the door to the classroom being opened and a voice that sounded suspiciously like it was out of her high school back home.

"So, this is where I'll be teaching in my third block?" The voice queried of his tour-guide in English.

"Oh, yes," that voice was less familiar. A quick, nervous glance in the reflection of the window told Anna that it belonged to the regular English teacher of class 2-A. Behind him stood a figure that Anna wishes she could deny existed. Though she had passed through her stage of utter fear and terror (Social Studies, grade ten, with Francis: nearly failed) to a stage of 'alright, you're somewhat okay' (History 12, grade eleven, hardest class in the school, by herself: eighty-three percent), there was still a problem:

This teacher knew the truth about Francis. Her fun at the expense of her best friend was being threatened. But first, she needed to escape without being suspicious. Whipping around, she pointed at the teacher (presumably on a teacher exchange; her father had been intending to do one until he remarried), pulled on an expression of horror and shouted as loudly as possible, "OH NO! MISTER LASER-BEAMS IS HERE TO DESTROY US ALL!" With that, she booked it out of the room as quickly as possible, congratulating herself on a scheme well pulled-off.

Back in the room, the teacher glanced back and shook his head, "Are those two idiots still going on about that?"

---^o_o^---

Anna ran until she reached the rooftops. _Should be safe here,_ she thought, _I don't think his lasers can reach this far. _She sat against the wall and texted a warning to Francis:

Laser Beams is here. Do not attend class until we have informed him of your situation.

**-Anna the Uber-Schemy**

A moment later she got her reply:

**WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIIIIIE!!!**

Sighing, Anna clicked off her iPhone. At least Francis could probably find something to do until the next class.

As she thought that, the bell signaling that everyone should be in class rang. Pouting, Anna pulled a book from her bag, 'The Hippopotamus' by Stephan Fry. She loved the crass character of Ted, the main guy, and his general vulgarity amused her. Just when she was getting into the story, someone sat up on the near water tower, casting a dark shadow upon her internally sunny day (though outside it was rather cloudy).

"Shouldn't you be in class?" Kyoya Hibari growled at Anna. The girl was unimpressed.

"Shouldn't you?" She snapped back, "A prefect shouldn't be skipping class to sleep up on the roof."

"I don't need to go to class," Hibari smirked, jumping off of his area and walking towards Anna, "But if you don't go, I'll have to beat you up and send you to the hospital instead." He paused when he noticed her goggles, "Accessories like those are not allowed. Remove them."

"First, I'm missing a class I have completed my graduation requirement back home for. I do not need to be in that class, it is not vital to my entering university." Anna pointed out, "And second, these goggles belonged to my great-grandfather and are as much a part of me as my fingers."

"Then I'll take your fingers off too," he grabbed her wrists and slammed her against the wall. Switching a wrist so they were both in one hand, his fingers made their way to the goggle's strap and pulled it out of her hair, "These won't be needed anymore," Kyoya smirked, twirling them around, "I'm confiscating them."

"You can't do that," wriggling to try and get free, she kicked him in the shin weakly, "Those are a priceless family heirloom!"

"And now they're mine."

Diving under Hibari's arm, Anna twisted his wrist so he let go. She pulled back when lunged at her, "Give them back. You can't have them," she demanded, "If anyone other than me is going to have them, it will be my cousin."

Frowning, Hibari tried to grab her again. Twisting her body, she pulled out of his way and pranced behind him, "Stop, stop, Hibari-kun~!" the blonde sang out teasingly, "If you can't catch me, don't bother trying!"

"I'll bite you to death!"

"Can't if you can't catch me!" When he went for her again, she side-stepped him and snatched her goggles back, "Thank you!" Smiling brightly, she started running toward the door back inside when he caught her by the waist.

"You're not escaping," he hissed, "The only way you're leaving here is in an ambulance or body bag."

Anna kicked his leg out from under him and managed to knock him back, to her surprise. Francis was way harder to take down, she knew, but she supposed her friend had a lot more practice dealing with her. She tried to pull away, but he flipped her so that she was under him and pinned her down.

"Aa," Leaning in towards her, the prefect smirked, "Which bone should I break first...? Your collar bone? Or just take out your jaw so you finally shut up?"

It looked like the time for running away very fast was over. Now for some fast talking, "Actually, I'd prefer it if you only gave me a light bruising. See, I'm something of a delicate person, and I-"

At that moment, the door to the roof flew open, "Hey, Anna, are you up here?" Francis called as she strode through the doorway, "If you're not- oh." She paused when she saw her current rival on top of her best friend, "Oh."

"Francis!" Anna squeaked and continued in English, "Help me! I'm being sexually assaulted, and he tried to nick my goggles!" The man on top of her blinked down at her uncomprehendingly, but the fake-man nearby understood perfectly.

"You bastard!" Francis clenched her fists and flew at him, "I've been trying to find you! I challenge you to an arm-wrestling match!" She tackled Hibari off of Anna. The blonde watched as the two tousled for a minute.

"Enh. Whatever works," Anna ran through the door and down to the lower levels.

---^o_o^---

Luckily for Anna, Francis had already beaten up half the disciplinary committee, so she wasn't caught while jogging through the hallways, though thanks to the way she spent her summer (working for her cousin's coffee company), she was unfortunately out of shape and already panting by the time she reached the first floor. Shoveling beans and serving espressos is not the best way to train for running away from sociopaths. At last, after what seemed like hours but was likely about five minutes, Anna slipped out the gate and moved on to freedom.

Wandering about the town, she decided to go home and change out of her uniform. Her host mother was probably at her friend's place, so there wouldn't likely be any awkward questions asked. It would only take her about ten or fifteen minutes to get there. Setting off at a brisk pace, she tried to think of a place as far away from Namimori High as possible.

Her iPhone buzzed from where it was on the bed while Anna changed, signaling a text message. She finished pulling on a shirt dress and picked it up:

**Skipper Person,**

**Am currently locked in the closet of the Reception room. Hibari is going out to hunt you down. Would suggest running away very fast. Or coming to rescue me.**

**-Vera**

**Vera,**

**It's time for you to come out of the closet. And I'm choosing option one.**

**-Anna-Banana (Hallo, B-One!)**

**Whore.**

**-Vera (You're A Bitch, B-Two!)**

The last of her accessories on, and pulling up her boots (she always preferred to be overdressed rather than underdressed), Anna took off, trying to think of a place where she could hide out. The park? He was likely to look there. Arcade? Also likely, and they probably wouldn't let her in during school hours anyhow. Oh! Oh! The library! Even if she couldn't read anything, having books around her was always comforting.

Glancing around the room, a smile appeared on her face. With this logic, her room was the most comfortable place in the world.

---^o_o^---

Namimori Library was a bit too modern for her taste. It had been built within the last ten years and had all of the books lined up properly on the shelves. It could use, Anna believed, dark wood and velvet curtains and an elderly British-Japanese man as the librarian (or possibly a cute girl in her mid-twenties with the as-mentioned ethnicity), perhaps a bit of dust as well, but books in an unappealing environment were better than no books at all.

She pulled a book off one of the shelves at random. Obviously old, the cover showed a woodcut of a naked women and a squid.

_Ahh, the original tentacle porn,_ _'The Dream of the Fisherman's Wife', _she traced the kanji of the title with her index finger and opened the book, _Is this a collection of Hokusai's works? I wonder why they chose that as the cover in favour of less...suggestive pieces..._

A hand came from behind her and roughly pulled the book away, "Now, why would you choose this book...?" A cold voice whispered into her ear, "I didn't take you to be... interested in these subjects."

Turning around with a sigh, Anna faced the speaker, "Woodcuts, you mean?"

The head prefect, whom Anna now suspected had a built in tracking system, waved the now closed book at her with the cover facing toward her as he smirked, "I'm referring to the nature of the cover."

"What makes you think I chose it for its cover rather than a long-standing interest in woodcuts? I must confess to preferring his Oceans of Wisdom set, particularly 'Fishing by Torchlight in Kai Province'," pulling the book away, she replaced it upon the shelf.

"You know Hokusai," Hibari was actually surprised by this. The blonde appeared to be too stupid to have any intellect whatsoever.

"I might say I do," Anna shrugged, "Are you going drag me back to school then?"

"No. I'm going to beat you here, then call an ambulance for you."

"...Question?"

"What?"

"Why do you even bother to call an ambulance? You complain that people are worthless and should die, and then send them to a place of healing. Your logic is illogical."

"You want me to beat you and not call an ambulance for you?"

"Actually, I'd prefer not to be beaten at all."

"That's a shame."

"Is it?"

"Yes. And I'm taking the goggles, too."

"Are you?"

"Yes."

"Is that so?"

Twitching, Hibari pulled out on his tonfas, "You're beginning to annoy me, weakling."

Anna cocked her head, "Weak...ling? Oh! I get it!" She giggled and clapped her hands, "'Cause my last name is Weeks! That's funny!"

The intelligence whiplash was beginning to get to Hibari. One moment, the girl was showing a keen knowledge, the next she was living up to her hair colour. Were all of these foreigners so strange? He would keep an eye on the third one whom he hadn't met. If she was as problematic as the two he was currently dealing with, he would have to dispose of the three. Obviously they would only cause trouble at his school.

While the prefect was contemplating this, Anna assessed all possible exits. Turn and run – he was faster than her and could catch her easily. Run straight at him and hope he would be surprised enough that he wouldn't react in time – possible, but had too much risk of being caught. Knocking over the shelves onto him – immediate dismissal to due book damage as a result. No other possible escapes as she was in the middle of stacks.

No other choice, then. Her super secret weapon must be activated!

Pulling off her pendant watch necklace she always wore (she had a bad habit of constantly needing to check the time, arising from years in boring classrooms), she tossed it over Hibari's head shouting "Hey, look! A shiny thing!" When his eyes began to follow the object she booked it out of the library, weaving between the stacks in case he followed her.

On the street, she turned her towards the shopping district, fully intending to blend in with the crowd. As she went, she spotted a small yellow bird sitting on a bench near the bus station. A small camera was around its neck.

"Oh! Hey cutie," Anna cooed as she waggled her finger in front of it, "What's your name?"

The bird cocked its head and began to chirp, "Hibari! Hibari!"

The blonde flung herself backwards, "It's a spy!" She shrieked and ran away from the bird, swearing that she would no longer trust anyone except her books and cats.

---^o_o^---

At the library, Hibari picked up the small watch that the weakling had distracted him with. He was very displeased with that; he would have to give her a detention the next time he saw her.

Studying the watch, he noted the good quality. Roman numerals surrounded a hole that allowed the wearer to peak at the clock and determine the time. Sunflowers and swirling motifs decorated the back. Clicking it open, he noted the time: quarter past eleven. Plenty of time to catch the prey that had unfortunately escaped him twice.

There wouldn't be a third time.

He pocketed her necklace and left the library, glaring at the woman at the front desk for good measure. Now to return to his hunt.

---^o_o^---

In a dark closet a few kilometers away, a dark haired girl smacked against a closet door with her hands tied in front of her.

"Someone! Let me out! Anna?! Thora?! Help!"

Finally, the door opened, allowing beams of light to disrupt the darkness. Kusakabe stood in the entrance, blinking in surprise to see his host-brother (though secretly sister) staring up at him in relief.

"Freedom, please?" The girl asked, lifting her head towards him.

"No." The prefect turned around and shut the door behind him, smirking while he did so. That would teach the brat to respect him, the formerly unbeaten champion of Super Mario Smash Bros.

"ONII-SAN, YOU BASTARD! LET ME OUUUUT!!!"

---^o_o^---

_Thora gets the next chapter! Who knows, maybe she'll become a more interesting character in it?_

_And a question for my reviewers: What pairings do you want to see in the story? Just out of curiosity. Any characters paired, not just with my OCs._

_Have a nice day!_


	5. From Italy With Love

_This week, on Funny Games: the legend of Laser Beams is revealed! But why is he showing up in Japan? And a new person shows up! Is this where Thora finds her true love? Or will her friends conspire against her heart's desire? Find out now!_

_Thanks to everyone who put in your input! And yet only one person mentioned one that will (much) later become semi-official… Mwahaha. Fun times ahead for me. :3_

_There once was a queen named Adelia_

_Who wrote about KHR a great deal-ia_

_But once she forgot_

_To write 'Reborn I own not'_

_And Amano came after her with a sword made of steel-ia_

---^o_o^---

Thora winced when she took a look at her friends shoulder. Horrible blue and purple bruises covered it from the base of the neck the middle of the ribcage down the back. Closing her light blue eyes, she's took a moment to calm herself, "Hibari was really brutal than, eh?"

Pouting, Anna nodded, "That's the last time I try and hide out in Animate. He beat me with a Yu Yu Hakusho wallscroll! It hurt!"

In the corner of Thora's room, Francis was rubbing salve onto her wrists, "Whatever! I have rope burn! Rope burn! Your bruises are nothing!"

"Nuh-uh!" Anna whined, "I have more on my legs too! And he stole my necklace!"

"You _did _throw it at him," the matronly one of the three reminded the most childish.

"That didn't mean he could keep it! Now I don't know what time it is~!"

Checking her iPod, Francis rolled her eyes, "It's only five-thirty."

What a chaotic day it had been for the poor best friend/babysitter/only-sane-woman. First Thora had to deal with restraining Francis from beating up the entire disciplinary committee. Yamamoto had been there to help, though, which was lucky because it took all the strength she had to pull back her temperamental friend. Then after that, Anna had sent the text message alerting them about Mr. Follmen, also commonly known as 'MISTER LASER BEAMS, RUUUUN~!', leading Francis to run away as fast as possible.

Luckily, Thora had managed to catch the teacher before class had started and explained the odd situation.

---^o_o^---

"Wait, wait," the teacher began to snicker, a terrifying sight to the girl who had only heard horror stories about this teacher, "Let me get this straight: Anna, the eccentric girl in my Socials 10 and History 12 class who always wrote a countdown to Christmas on the chalkboard, managed to use Monopoly, of all things, to con Vera, the girl with a serious lack of ambition who failed my Socials 10 class, into crossdressing as a guy in Japan and going under the name of Francis?"

"Well," Thora said sheepishly, pressing her fingers together, "To be fair, it was because of Anna that Vera failed, and her middle name _is_ Francis …"

Already Mr. Follmen was laughing too hard to stand up straight.

"Um, I have to go to class!" Thora ran away quickly from the terrifying sight and hid in her desk, wondering vaguely where Anna and Francis had gotten to.

---^o_o^---

"That must have been the scariest sight in the world," Francis shivered, knowing that the mental images alone would give her nightmares.

Nodding with agreement, Thora patted the blonde girl on the head, seeing as she was the closest, "Never again will I believe that robots have no emotion."

"Don't be silly, it was obviously a ploy to make you think that. Robots nowadays are very clever."

Rolling her eyes, Thora sighed at Anna, who was now lying on the older girls lap. It had become common belief among the three and all those who they passed the knowledge on to that the Mr. Follmen, history teacher and extreme note-assigner, who was mostly known was not the real one, but a robot. The real one was a ninja who had been defeated by the robot and locked in the classroom cupboard. Eventually the real Mr. Follmen escaped and is now working on a rice paddy somewhere in South-East Asia.

This be the legend of the robot socials teacher. It is only a small part of the entire legend (which involves all of the teachers having their own powers and their old school turning into a department vs. department battle royal after hours), but that is for another time.

Francis got up and walked over to where her friends were, "The most important thing is, we need your work from today because we missed class."

"Not my fault," Thora sniffed, turning away.

"Hey! I was locked in a closet for four hours!"

"I was unsuccessfully running for my life."

A head with spiky black hair popped into the doorway, followed by a brunet and a silver-haired boy, "Maa, we need help too!" The three boys came into the room, Gokudera grumbling about how he didn't need to get help from some stupid woman. It was another three hours after Anna had called Bianchi over that the bomber was able to get up and help them out, after his sister left. Sadly, as soon as he began his math spiel (for which even Thora was in the audience), Yamamoto's father interrupted him with the announcement that someone downstairs was waiting for them.

"Dino!" Tsuna shouted happily when he noticed his older 'brother'. The blond mafia boss was sitting at a table on his own with a dish of sushi in front of him. Yamamoto also greeted him with enthusiasm while Gokudera muttered about how the world was out to get him that day. On the other hand, the girls looked intrigued, especially Thora.

_Wow, he's so hot~ _She drooled, _Look at that tattoo! It's cooler than any of my brother's!_

While she had been thinking about that, Francis had already gone ahead and decided to introduce herself, "Yo! My name is Francis Morgause. Where are you from?"

"I'm Dino Chiavorone, from Italy," he flashed them a charming smile, "It's a pleasure to meet you."

_That smile! _Thora screamed mentally, _Oh no, dirty thoughts, dirty thoughts, dirty thoughts~!_

"My name is Anna Weeks. The drooling idiot beside me is Thora Mengelkoch."

"I'm not drooling!"

"Yes you are- ow! Francis, she hit me!"

"You deserved it."

"Does… this happen a lot?" Dino asked hesitantly, glancing at the squabbling Canadians.

"All the time."

"Constantly."

"Hii~! Francis, put down the knife!"

"Die, you annoying brat!"

"Thoraaaa~!"

"STOP IT, BOTH OF YOU!"

Unfortunately, as soon she shouted this out, Thora was jumped upon by Anna and fell into Dino's lap, managing to spill his noodles all over herself. Glancing up at Dino, she began to apologize profusely and pull herself up at the same time. He wound up doing the same and knocking them both onto the floor with him on top of her. Anna cut them off when they opened their mouths to speak.

"Anything you guys say right now will be met with a 'That's what she said!'. Just a warning."

"Thanks. Now go crawl up a hole somewhere and-"

"That's what she said!"

"FRANCIS!"

"Maa, why did she say that?" Yamamoto asked innocently.

With widened eyes, Anna threw up her hands, "Dibs! I so dibs explaining this to him!"

"NO!"

"I'm really sorry about this," apologized Dino, "I'm not usually this clumsy."

"Not a problem!" Thora breathed, not exactly sure what to do when a guy she was definitely attracted to was on top of her while her clothes were wet. Even worse, she appeared to be becoming more and more perverted! Anna was clearly corrupting her brain; she needed Francis' moral influences now.

When Dino began to get up, though, his foot slipped on the noodles and he once again fell back down this time his face landing right on top of Thora's rather substantial breasts.

An awkward silence ensued.

"Ah, D-Dino-san…?" Tsuna stuttered out.

"…Yes?"

"You do know where you are, right?"

"…Yes."

Waving her hand weakly, Thora managed to speak out, "It's okay. It is very often that people bury their faces in my chest _un_intentionally."

"Anna."

"Shut up, Fra, they're comfy."

The blond buried in the mounds of flesh had to agree, "They are…"

Blood rushed to Thoras face while she shrieked and pushed him off, then tore up the stairs to her room. Sharing a glance, Anna and Francis followed her up.

Blinking, Yamamoto glanced around the room, "So… now what?"

"Ciaossu," a voice greeted them out of nowhere. Reborn stepped out of the shadows, "I don't believe my idiot former student came here just for a social visit."

"You're right," Dino sat down again at the table, avoiding the spilt food, "I do have another reason for being here. You all may want to sit down."

Once everyone was settled around the table, Dino began, "So, most of you have heard of the Aragosta family, right?"

"The what?" Tsuna asked as Reborn nodded severely. Jumping to his boss's aid, Gokudera filled them in.

"The Aragosta family is another mafia family in Italy, known for copying the guardian structure of the Vongolas, and for being very international. They have many members from different areas of Europe and a few from other continents," informed the bomber, "They were also one of the first families to spread off of Sicily to the mainland Italy. They aren't really that strong, though. If they try to attack the Vongola, we can totally take them!" Pulling out his dynamite, he struck a pose.

"No, no," Dino waved him down, "That's not it at all. The opposite, in fact. The former Ninth asked me to come here to inform you all that the current boss of the Aragostas has requested that Tsuna marry the boss's daughter, Pomona, to create an alliance between the families."

Immediately, Tsuna and Gokudera began to freak out, "But I don't want to marry someone!" Tsuna shrieked, temporarily forgetting about his long-standing crush on Kyoko in his panic. Gokudera was currently giving a more spazzy imitation of his reaction to his sister.

Innocently, Yamamoto glanced between the two of them, "Tsuna's getting married?"

"NO!" The poor little Vongola Decimo grabbed his hair and rolled under the table.

"He doesn't have to," placated Dino, "It's an entirely his descision!"

"I'm not going to marry her!" Tsuna announced from beside the Bucking Horse's feet, "The descision is no!"

WHAM! Two pasty white bare feet hit the floor in front of the stairs, "I heard strange words down here! Tsunayoshi is getting married?" Anna demanded, "We must hold a bachelor party!"

"No bachelor party for you!" Diving into her best friend, Francis tackled her to the ground, "Five hundred points!" She cheered, pumping her fists in the air as she sat on her friend.

"I'm not getting married!" announced Tsuna yet again.

Padding down the stairs, Thora pulled Francis off of the smaller girl, apologizing to everyone all the while.

"Ahh, Reborn," Dino caught the toddler's attention, "Is it okay to talk about this in front of those three?"

Reborn nodded, "I've already decided to add Thora and Francis to the family. Whether or not Anna can prove herself useful has yet to be seen."

On the ground where she still lay, Anna sniffled, "I'm useful!" She wailed.

Leaning over, Thora pat her friend on the head, "That's okay, we love you even if you are useless."

"Shut up or I'll sell your panties to the people who put them in vending machines."

"Now, now," Francis grinned, "Anna can be a very savage person when she needs to be. Ever seen her when she's forced to play sports?" Exchanging glances, the rest shook their heads, "Well, I'll tell you this: what she lacks in athleticism, she makes up for in cunning and vicious-ness."

"Fr-Francis…" Anna's eyed filled with grateful tears and her voice wobbled, "I LOVE YOU~!" She squealed and pounced onto friend happily.

"Yeah, yeah," in a less distinct murmur, "I love you too…"

"Aww," Thora cooed, "You two would be such a cute couple!"

"They would," agreed Dino, giving the brunette another heart-melting smile before turning back to Tsuna, "Anyway, Vongola Nono and your father also asked me to tell you that you and the family you've gathered here are invited to join them in Italy during your summer break next year."

Everyone's head snapped towards the head of the Chiavorone family, "Really?" asked Yamamoto excitedly, "I'd love to go back!"

"Sweet! I can show all of the awesome places there to the Tenth!"

"I've always wanted to go see the place my family's from…" added in Thora wistfully.

"Finally! After years my grandparents depriving me of such a trip, I can go!" Anna chirped happily.

"You're not part of the family yet," Reborn cut in.

"Oh, come on~!"

"I should be heading back to my hotel," announced Dino as he stood up, "It's getting late and my men might worry."

"Oh? You could stay at my place again if you wanted," Tsuna offered.

Shaking his head, the blond fetched his jacket and handed Yamamoto some money, "Here's to pay for spilling the food. Sorry about that."

"It was my fault!" Shouted Yamamoto's host sister, "I fell into you! You shouldn't have to pay!"

"That's stupid," Anna derided, "Let him pay. It's more money for the restaurant."

"ANNA!"

"I insist," the blond pushed the cash into the rain guardians hands, "And anyways, I'll be seeing you all!" He walked out the door with a wave.

"Hey that guy is really clumsy, right?" Francis asked aloud.

"That idiot is always clumsy without his subordinates around," agreed Reborn.

"In that case," the fake man pushed Thora towards the door, "Go watch over him and make sure he doesn't get hit by a car or something!"

"But-!"

"GO!"

And so Thora wound up walking back to the hotel with a really hot guy. A _really_ hot guy. She didn't know whether to strangle Francis or hug her.

"So, you're from Canada, right?" Dino attempted to make conversation, "What's it like there? Does it really snow all the time?"

Giggling nervously, Thora shook her head, "It hardly ever snows on the West Coast," the brunette confessed, "It mostly rains."

"That's too bad. So I guess you don't live in igloos and drive dogsleds either?"

"Nope. Sorry to disappoint you."

"All of my childhood ideals were just ruined," he laughed, "Are you all really hockey obsessed, though?"

Thora shuddered, "Yes. Oh God, yes. We are some of the nicest, most polite people you'll ever meet until you're in a bar on hockey night. Then all bets are off."

"Seriously?"

"Oh, yes. Anna's brothers have lost quite few teeth over teams."

"Ah."

A silence dropped between them. In Thora's opinion, it was so thick that she could drown in it. She was about to begin making all the appropriate gestures for this method of dying but Dino spoke again, "You said your family is from Italy, right? But isn't your last name German?"

Happy to be free of the deadly silence, Thora nodded, "My father is mostly Scottish, but my mother has a very mixed background, mostly German and Italian."

"Why is your last name the German one instead of a Scottish name?"

"The just thought it sounded better, I guess…"

"Alright," The blond grinned and stretched his arms up, "I had figured you for Italian blood anyhow, when I first saw you."

The blue-eyed girl rubbed her nose self-consciously. It was somewhat large and _very_ obviously from her Italian heritage. Before she could remark back, a chill rolled down her back. She and Francis had something of a sixth sense; they could often see what appeared to be supernatural beings around. Anna didn't have much, but she had the ability to totally kill energy around her. But right now this chill signified the entrance of something very, very bad. So bad, she could practically hear dramatic piano music.

"Bucking Horse Dino," Hibari coldly greeted him, "I want to fight you."

"Not now, Kyoya, I just got here!" Grinning cheerfully, Dino waved off the boy. Thora, meanwhile, was panicking.

_Oh no, oh no, oh no, it's Hibari-san! After all the trouble he's had with Anna and Francis, what'll he do to me?!_ When he turned and glared at her, she squeaked and hid behind Dino. He seemed to like this.

"You're the last exchange student…" he drawled out, "The other two have given me many problems."

"I-I'm very sorry about them! I try to keep them from annoying people, but they don't listen! I'll try harder!" Thora chattered this out nervously and bowed repeatedly.

"Hey, Kyoya, she's not responsible for what her friends do," defended Dino, "I've seen her friends; I doubt anyone could keep them under control."

Hibari ignored him, "If you, or either of them, cause any more trouble, I'll hold you _all_ responsible," he threatened.

"I won't! And I'll try to stop them!"

"Hm," the head prefect turned away, seemingly satisfied, "Do you know if your male herbivore would be interested in joining the Disciplinary Committee?"

"Francis?" Shaking her head, Thora ducked behind the Italian again, who was watching the proceedings with some interest, "I think he'd rather make some delinquent group to oppose you. Anna might, though, if you asked her."

"Why would I want her?"

"She's cute?"

Snorting, Hibari reached into his pocket and pulled out the pendant watch he had refused to give back. Dangling it before them all, he smirked, "I could use a good slave to do whatever I ask." As he pocketed it and began to leave, he addressed Dino again, "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Right, right. Good night Kyoya!" Dino turned to the girl behind him, "He's not that scary."

"You haven't seen what he did to Anna today. She has nasty bruises all down her side and back. Not to mention that he locked Francis in a closet."

"She was injured and still acted like that?!"

"Yeah she's a nut." Thora noticed that they'd reached the hotel, "Well, I guess I'll see you later, then."

"Ah? Oh," the blond frowned when he noticed he'd gotten to his destination, "Yeah. Good night."

"Good night!" Walking down the street again, she giggled as she heard about a dozen men eagerly greeting their boss.

"Thooooraaaa~!" Anna pounced on her friend once she re-entered the restaurant, "We waited for you! But now Francis and I will leave."

"Oh, really?" Thora pouted. She'd wanted to have a gossip session with them about everything that had happened on her walk, "Meanies."

"Yeah, we're out," Francis agreed, putting on her coat. It was a men's brown leather one that Anna had gotten her for her birthday as a sort of apology for making her crossdress. Thora had given her a pair of jeans and shirt to match, which Francis was also wearing, making an altogether nice and relatively manly outfit, "By the way, I took your homework. I'll give it back to you sometime. Maybe."

"Bye guys!" Anna sang out, hugging Thora and skipping out the door. Francis followed her, wishing everyone a good night. Finally, Thora thought she could relax.

"Hey, Thora, could you help us clean this up?" Yamamoto grinned and pointed at the mess still there while Tsuna, Gokudera and Reborn took off quickly to avoid being forced to help.

Sighing, Thora grabbed a mop and began to work. Maybe she'd be able to relax later, but knowing the people she was surrounded by, she realized that 'later' secretly meant 'never'.

---^o_o^---

_Another chapter finished. The next chapter I was easily able to write, actually. The rest are getting a bit…difficult. I really can't write Tsuna._

_Francis is back next chapter. With friends. :3_


	6. No Rest For the Wicked

_Wow… I have twenty-eight reviews…That's like, 5.6 a chapter. I think I can die happy now. :3_

_Still, I do not own KHR._

---^o_o^---

While walking home on Friday night, Francis and Anna had made a pact: should either one of them miss one class, they would deprive themselves of whatever they needed on a daily basis to survive. For Francis, this meant no playing World of Warcraft. For Anna, it was not allowing herself a can of Coke. This meant serious twitching issues for the brunette and extreme hyperactivity from the blonde who required sugar to remain calm.

Now it was Monday and the test of their wills and need to flee from impending dangers was upon them. And sadly, the test came quicker than expected.

Francis was the first to suffer when she was walking to school. Apparently Kusakabe was getting tips from Anna because he had walked into her room Monday morning, pulled out a plant sprayer and began spritzing her until she got up and chucked a pillow at him. He was already dressed and prepared for school.

"I'm leaving before you, so you better be at school on time," he growled before leaving.

"Shut up, Onii-san!" the fake-boy moaned and rolled over. Sadly, it was at that instant that the alarm clock Thora had given her went off. Unlike her wonderful old one (which her mother had disposed of) this alarm clock had an annoying feature of rolling off the night table and then continuously going around the room until she caught the little bugger and turned it off. She knew Anna showed Thora the website to get it. Almost everything annoying in her life somehow led back to that idiot blonde. Thora was good. Thora didn't constantly push her buttons. Stupid clock.

Finally turning the little bastard off, she went over to her small pile of clothes in the corner to grab her wrinkled uniform and overbust corset. Only a few game cases littered the floor and a couple of Shonen Jumps were piled by the bed, with the occasional issue of Ribon borrowed Anna in between.

She winced as she put on the corset and tightened it, twitching. She'd hit Anna to relieve the stress from it later. Pulling on the rest of her clothes, she glance din the mirror, finger brushed her hair (one of the good things about the hair cut) and ran out the door, determined to actually go to class.

Shame she forgot to take out her metal eyebrow piercing, though.

---^o_o^---

At the school, Francis meandered down the hallway. Arriving too early sucked, especially with nothing to do. Although she had originally thought them a waste of time, a club wasn't sounding too bad anymore. At least it would give her something to do.

"You're early, herbivore."

With a twitch, she swung around and glowered at her mortal enemy, Kyoya Hibari. "I wasn't aware it was against the rules to actually be on time," she spat. The prefect raised an eyebrow, unimpressed with how she tried to be tough.

"Do you want to join the Disciplinary Committee?"

"…What?!" Her jaw dropped, "Work for you?"

"Yes, I had to fire quite a few of the members seeing how they proved to be weak when you attacked them," he responded calmly, "I need to hire more. You're strong," smirking, he corrected himself, "Well, for an idiot foreigner."

"Fuck you! How dare you use my nationality as reason for my so-called 'weakness'! Have you seen a game of hockey before?!" Jabbing her finger, Francis made a brave declaration, "I'd rather work for the devil!"

"Well, the benefits _are_ great," a small voice mentioned casually. Both Francis and Hibari jumped when they noticed the goggle-wearer standing nearby.

"Anna!" The brunette shouted, "Don't sneak up on me like that!" The bird lover nearby cursed himself inwardly for allowing the girl to catch him off guard.

Instead of apologizing, Anna just gazed at her friend unperturbed. Apparently this was going to be one of her docile days. "I'm not the one not paying attention."

"This guy wants me to work for him!"

"I heard. I was here."

The prefect cut in, "What about you weakling?"

Blinking, Anna pointed at herself, "Me? What?"

Rolling his eyes with irritation, Hibari clarified, "Work for the Disciplinary Committee."

"I thought everyone had already decided I'm useless."

"I could use a slave. And," he pulled out her pendant watch, "If you do well, I might even give this back to you."

"Okay!"

"Traitor!" Francis shouted, jabbing a finger at her deserter, "I trusted you!"

Suddenly, Hibari's eyes narrowed and he pulled out a tonfa, "That piercing," he growled menacingly, "is against school policy."

Touching her eyebrow, her eyes widened when she felt the small spikes of her regular ring, rather than the acrylic one. "Oh, shit-!" She cursed and she turned and ran; the prefect in pursuit.

On the lower levels of the school, Hibari was beginning to catch up. A door to Francis' right opened up when she turned a corner and she took the opportunity, ramming into the person opening it knocking them down and turning to close the door.

Sighing with relief as the steps of her enemy went by, the brunette rested her head against the door, not noticing the one she knocked over stand up.

"Are you here to join the Boxing club?!" Shouted Ryohei excitedly, "Great! Let's find you some gloves! You already have some extremely good strength!" Grabbing her arm, he dragged Francis off to equipment room.

"Wait…what?"

---^o_o^---

After a very vigorous morning work out, Francis was dragging herself towards her classroom. Ryohei had made her promise to return after school for the official boxing club meeting, but he had given her a test run this morning, only to decide that she had passed the test when she had rammed into him in the doorway.

_So…tired…_, she moaned mentally, _Need…sleep_. A tiny voice distracted her out of her internal distress.

"Um…excuse me?"

Glancing down, Francis locked eyes with a small purple haired girl (the hair looked strangely like a pineapple) in a green uniform clutching a black bag to her chest. "Do you know where my boss is?" The strange girl asked.

The term 'boss' (pronounced the English way) clicked in Francis' head, "Boss, as in the Mafia game? Tsunayoshi Sawada?" The girl nodded shyly, "Class 2-A. Just down that way," she pointed.

"Thank you…" The girl jogged off down the hallway.

"Huh," Francis murmured to herself, "That was weird." She stood in the hallway for a moment, resting somewhat from the long trip (to her) from the gymnasium area. A blur of black with a dash of red speeded past her. "Err…Hibari?" The girl questioned as the prefect ran off, a strange yellow bird flapping it's wings behind him.

"Shut up, herbivore," he growled, not looking back.

Cocking her head, Francis frowned contemplatively, "Everyone's acting strange today…"

Approaching her classroom, the crossdresser noted that there were quite a few screams that sounded suspiciously like Tsuna and various exclamations in a foreign language from a voice almost like Gokudera's. With a raise of her eyebrow, she opened the door and peered into the chaos.

First there was Hibari. His tonfas were out and he was apparently trying to savagely mutilate someone who was hiding behind Tsuna, who was panicking while the metal weapons were going past his face. Gokudera was being held back by Yamamoto nearby, screaming words she couldn't understand. Behind Tsuna, holding his shoulders to use him as a defense, was a man with blue hair shaped like pineapple wearing a green boy's uniform and a small black bag was discarded on the floor.

Wait.

"Heeeey…" Francis spoke up, "Weren't you a girl, like, two minutes ago?"

The people spazzing out, along with the class who was staring in horror (including Thora, not including Anna who was napping on her desk, a new red armband on her sleeve), turned to look at her.

"What?! I'm serious! He was a chick! With purple hair and a mini-skirt!"

"Kufufufu, so you were the one who helped my dear little Chrome find our way here," the man calmly mentioned with an odd smile, shoving Tsuna in front of him again as Hibari struck, "Thank you for that."

Hibari glared at her, "Detention, herbivore."

Francis shrugged, "Sure, whatever," she answered and walked to her seat, poking Yamamoto on the way as he finally released Gokudera on the tormentors of the Tenth, "Who is the blue hair dude and what happened the purple hair girl?"

"That's Mukuro. And they switched," he answered with a grin.

"Ohhhh, him…They switched?"

"Yeah like," with his pointer fingers he moved them in a semi-circle, "Switched."

"I see."

"Good!"

"I was being sarcastic."

"Oh."

A flurry of sudden arm movements caught her attention. Thora was waving her over to her seat.

"What do you want?"

Bouncing happily while ignoring the chaos at the front of the classroom (because honestly, it was nothing like some of the classroom chaos the three girls had caused before), Thora made her proposal, "Sleepover. This weekend. My place."

"Thora, is this one of those things where you just tell us what to do and we have no choice whatsoever in it?" Came Anna's sleepy question. The blonde had one green eye popped open and it stared at the two in front of her unnervingly.

"Yup."

"'Kay…" The girl snuggled back to her arms and fell asleep again.

"At the sushi shop?" Francis mused, "Okay."

"Yay!"

Suddenly Tsuna went flying past their heads. Francis easily reached out and caught him by his tie, nearly choking him in the process, and put him down.

"TENTH!" Gokudera cried out, "Are you alright?!"

"Fine…" Tsuna said weakly as he pulled his tie to loosen it.

"Tsunayoshi Sawada," the pineapple headed man said calmly as he jumped to the window ledge, "I will see you again, soon." With that, he leapt out into the air.

Frowning, Hibari walked over to the window and watched as the illusionist escaped out of the schoolyard, "Tch," he muttered darkly, then walked out the door, glaring at everyone.

"Man," Francis said just loudly enough so that Hibari could hear her in the hallway, "What a _loser_."

It was lucky she was a fast runner.

---^o_o^---

"This is very dissatisfying!" The leader of the boxing club shouted, slamming his fist into the desk. It was lunch time and the boxer had come to hunt down his newest member, only to find that she had gotten a detention on what was supposed to be her first official day.

"I'm surprised Lawn Head knows that word," Gokudera muttered under his breath.

"It's not surprising," objected Anna, "It's perfectly reasonable that he knows that word. But that he knows how to properly use it in a sentence is rather remarkable."

Whipping her head around, Francis glared at the two green-eyed snarkers, "Shut up! Now!" Turning back to Ryohei, she bowed low, "I'm really sorry!" She apologized again, "I didn't realize giving someone directions would give me a detention!"

"That's all?" Ryohei blinked, surprised, "Who did you give directions to?"

"Mukuro."

"Oh. I see…" Rubbing his chin in thought, Ryohei glanced up at the ceiling, "AHA! I know!"

"Yes…?" Francis asked hesitantly.

Pumping a fist in the air, he proclaimed, "We shall cancel our practice tonight and hold one at five-thirty tomorrow morning! It will be extreme!"

"I thought it'd been awhile since he said that," Anna muttered while her friend stared at her new club leader in horror.

"I'll see you then!" Laughing heartily, the sun guardian ran out the classroom door.

With a shake of her head, Anna put the bento she had made for her friend in front of her, a duty that she traded off with Thora on (seeing how Francis always forgot to get one herself), "I'll call you in the morning to get you up."

"No, you won't," Francis dug into the rice balls and omelet, "I'll kill you first. Do you ever think he's secretly a genius who does all of this to piss us off?"

"I do." Gokudera raised his hand lazily.

With a tilt of her head, Anna pointed at Thora, who was daydreaming while munching on her lunch, "I don't know. Do you think Thora is secretly daydreaming about blond Italians?"

The older girl jumped and began panicking, "Wh-what?! What did you say?! I was, uh-"

"No," Francis replied to the blonde, "It was just one blond Italian and it's not very secret."

"I wasn't daydreaming about Dino!" Thora shrieked.

"We never said his name," Anna pointed out.

Resting his head on his arms, Tsuna sighed. "They're really loud," he murmured half to himself, though whether he was referring to the foreigners or to Gokudera and Yamamoto, who had just began arguing over some piece of sausage, was ambivalent.

"That's because you don't enforce enough discipline on them," Reborn said, appearing out of nowhere. Today he had decided to wear his school uniform disguise, with his hat nowhere in sight so his hair stuck straight up. Leon rested on his shoulder.

"R-Reborn!" Tsuna jumped at the sight of his tutor, "What are you doing here?!"

"Checking in on you," was his answer.

When she glanced back, Francis noticed the toddler, but due to Reborn's mysterious mastery of disguises, she didn't recognize him, "Who's the new kid?" She asked, walking over to the desk of her mafia boss.

"Oh yeah!" Yamamoto pushed past Gokudera, "I'm Takeshi Yamamoto," he introduced himself, "It's nice to meet you!"

"Hey!" the brushed aside bomber yelled, "I get to introduce myself to Tenth's new friends first!"

Anna stared at them with an odd look on her face that clearly said 'Should I really know you people?', "…Isn't that Reborn?"

"Ehh?!" Tsuna glanced toward the sharp-tongued girl, "You can tell it's him?!"

"Well, the sideburns are rather obvious, and he's the only Italian I know who is that size and would come to this school and sit on Tsunayoshi's desk…" Her voice trailed off to a mumble and she stepped back and looked outside, her gaze distant. The tenth boss of the Vongola was about to ask her what was wrong but got cut off by everyone else.

"Woah! I didn't recognize you!"

"Holy crap, you're good at disguises!"

"I'm so sorry Reborn! Please forgive me!"

The toddler hitman stared at them all with the happy face that only appeared when he was about to unleash torment and pain, "I think we should do some training for the Sports Festival this weekend," he suggested in a way that obviously said they'd be doing it whether they liked it or not.

"That's a good idea!" Yamamoto enthused, "We can practice the pole climbing competition and since we have Francis, we'll be able to hold it steadier!"

"Oh, yeah…" Francis agreed with hateful looks towards her friend at the window who was being poked by her other friend and Kyoko, "When will we be finding out what we're doing?"

"We'll be having a meeting on Thursday," she was informed, "And you can volunteer for things then."

"Oh, alright." The bell rang then, and the students returned to their seats for another set of classes.

"Francis?" Anna requested her friend's attention before the teacher got to class.

"What?"

"Skipping detentions or club meetings counts as skipping a class, meaning no World of Warcraft."

"…You _bitch_."

"Love you too."

That's when the rain began to fall.

---^o_o^---

The reception room was too nice for scum like Hibari, Francis decided. The couches looked extremely comfy, the desk was made of heavily polished wood and the windows showed a lovely view of Namimori.

_But,_ she mused, _I suppose you get all the good stuff when you're the evil demon king of darkness._

"Herbivore," Hibari said coldly as he handled paperwork for his committee, "Go to the janitor's closet and get a mop and bucket. For detention you will be cleaning the hallways of the second floor in Building A."

"Yeah, whatever," Francis mumbled, not noticing the devilish smirk playing on the lips of her enemy.

The soapy water slopped over the edges of the blue plastic bucket as the mop was pushed into it with unnecessary force. Shoving it along the floor, Francis hurried, hoping to be home sooner it she did it with extra speed.

Within a couple of hours, the floor was almost spotless. However, as soon as she was within a few meters of finishing, a troop of boys obviously from a sports team ran through, mud all over the shoes they hadn't had the decency to change. The once clean floor was completely ruined.

As Francis let out a half strangled scream of rage, her tormentor up on the roof where the dying sun had dried up the majority of the puddles smirked and listened contentedly to the trill of his bird.

---^o_o^---

Finally getting home after another two hours of cleaning, the faux-man quickly ate up the leftover food from dinner that her host mother had saved and went upstairs to change into her pair of pajamas.

Sighing happily, Francis released the corset around her chest. Breath, release from pain and SWEET SWEET FREEDOM! Thora and Anna were lucky; their corsets were underbusts and didn't crush their ribs in as much, _and _they didn't have to always wear them, even if Anna did. She poked her breasts and winced when they ached. Stupid Anna and her stupid Monopoly game. Mean Thora for letting Anna getting away with it.

Just as Francis began to stretch her arms up, the door burst open with Kusakabe in the doorframe, "Francis, next time Kyo-sama tries to get you stay that long-" He stopped suddenly, jaw dropping as he noticed two semi-large bits of flesh that should not on the body of his host-_brother_. Whipping into action, Francis pulled on her loose tee-shirt and stalked over to Kusakabe, closing the door behind his stiff body.

"We're going to have a little chat, Onii-san," she smiled dangerously and pulled him over to her desk, pulled out a chair for him and began to tell her tale.

---^o_o^---

By the end of it, Kusakabe was laughing just as hard as everyone else who had been let in on the secret, to the annoyance of the one suffering. Wiping his eyes, he grinned at her, "After knowing you all for more than a month, I could believe this," he told her.

"That's good, I'd hate to have to prove it again," Francis muttered darkly, earning herself a few more chuckles.

"I will have to inform Kyo-sama, though," he informed her, instantly bringing an end to her good cheer.

Getting up from her bed, Francis glared at him, "Or not," she replied sharply, "He's been bothering me enough already without knowing I'm a chick."

With a sigh, Kusakabe continued. "It's still breaking the school rules, Fu-chan," he used the nickname she had gotten to annoy her when she beat him at video games, "If he knows and someone finds out, he can tell them that he knew and approved of this venture."

"But what if he doesn't? What if he makes me tell everyone and dress in the girl's uniform?"

"He enjoys a good helping of needless cruelty just as much as anyone else," the second-in command told her, "Anna will probably receive kudos for this."

"I have no doubt," the brunette muttered, and she bid her new conspirator a good night.

---^o_o^---

The rest of the week passed easily, with only a few snags here and there. At the sushi shop on their own, as Yamamoto was spending the night at Tsuna's and Tsuyoshi was at a catering job, Anna told her friends about what happened when Hibari found out.

"You should have seen the look on his face when he realized that the one who kicked the collective asses of his people was a girl," she giggled happily, fiddling with the lace of her white nightgown, "It was priceless! He told me to tell you, Vera, that this doesn't mean he won't 'bite you to death' if you break any rules."

"Good," her friend drawled, "I'd hate to lose any chances to beat the crap out of him."

"It's not like you can anyway," Thora pointed out, "Hasn't he beaten you every time you've challenged him so far?"

"Shut up!"

Smiling joyfully, Thora clapped her hands together to get her friends attention, "So!" She announced, "Does anyone have a crush yet?"

While Anna rolled her eyes, Francis smirked, deciding to get some points for herself, "You. On the Italian."

"His name is Dino!" Shouted Thora, clearly flustered, "You don't need to call him 'the Italian'!"

"But you know him better than us, so you can call him Dino," Anna pouted, "I, for one, will call him the Italian."

"You're just too lazy to bother with proper names," Francis accused her.

"True, true," Anna conceded, "How about you, Vera? Is all your huff towards Hibari because you're secretly Tsundere for him?"

Grabbing a pillow, Francis began to beat her squeaking friend, emphasizing each word, "I. Hate. Him. Don't. You. Dare. Say. That!"

"Sorry! Sorry!" As soon as the hits eased off, she continued, "But that's not an answer."

WHAM! "NO!"

"Ow…"

Pushing back Francis to the floor, Thora kept the other two away from each other, "Anna, don't pick on Vera. Vera, don't hit Anna."

"Mmkay."

"Tch!"

The Italian-German girl smiled cheerfully and pulled out a folder that looked very familiar to the other girls, "So," she said happily, pulling out some papers, "When we last played Call of Cthulhu, I do believe Anna had just lost her arm by… 'bitch-slapping Cthulhu and challenging him to a gentleman's duel'? Anna!"

"He had it coming!"

"Ha ha, goober!"

"I'll end you!"

"BOTH OF YOU STOP IT OR I'LL BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF YOU!"

After Thora screamed that out, the others looked up at her sheepishly and kept quiet. Until, of course, Anna had to get bored and poke Francis.

"Don't poke me, you stupid idiot-!"

"I warned you two!"

"Oh, shit-!"

All in all, it was a very good thing the Yamamotos were out. They never would have lasted through all the screaming that followed

---^o_o^---

_Francis is such a silly goose, isn't she? And beware Thora – she knows Muay Thai._

_Tsuna has the next chapter. Oh dear…_


	7. Sports Festival

_And so Tsuna takes the stage for the Sports Festival. What will become of this?_

_And if anyone wants to see some fanart that has been drawn for me, there are links in my profile. :3_

_I don't own KHR._

---^o_o^---

The weather was cold even for October on Sunday when everyone met by the river. Tsuna glanced around, slightly nervous. Ryohei had once again promised that Tsuna would be captain of Team A for the pole climbing competition, and they had once again brought one for training. Haru and Kyoko stood to the side with Thora and Anna as Yamamoto, Gokudera, Ryohei and Francis set up the pole. Reborn too was there, dressed up in his Coach Pao-Pao outfit.

"Let's start practicing for the pole climbing event!" Ryohei shouted as he pumped his fist in the air. While Tsuna shivered, Francis raised a hand.

"Question! How do we practice if we don't have enough people to act as the opposing teams and our own team?"

"That is an extremely good question!"

Jumping off of Yamamoto's shoulder where he perched, Reborn smiled his creepy smile up at the group, "Don't worry, I have that covered."

"Yo, Tsuna!" Down the hill towards the river where everyone was, Dino walked casually with a large group of his men behind him, some carrying a pole. Suddenly Tsuna shivered, knowing what was about to happen.

"They will be team B," announced the toddler.

"Don't worry, we'll try to go easy on you," Dino grinned. Off to the side, Thora blushed and hid behind Anna, grinning like an idiot while the blonde rolled her eyes in sync with Francis.

"B-but-!" Tsuna stuttered, "H-how many men do you have?"

"About fifty."

"Fifty-?!"

Reborn knocked his silly student on the head, "Of course, he has fifty. It's not even as much your classes have. Anyways, another family is coming too."

"Another-?"

"Heeeeey, Sawada-chan!" Naito Longchamp shouted as he ran towards them, Mangusta, Lunga and Pantera in tow, "Have you missed me?!"

"N-Naito!" Tsuna tried to greet the very enthusiastic boy nicely, "It's been awhile-"

"I'm here to be team C!" interrupted the other boss.

With a grin, the leader of the boxing team came over, "You're very enthusiastic! You'll do well here!"

"Good!"

Meanwhile, over on the side, Francis twitched at the exuberance of the newcomer, Thora grimaced and Anna muttered something about axes and flamethrowers. Gokudera decided to join the blonde and Yamamoto went with Kyoko and Haru set up lunch, as he had brought some sushi from his shop. Dino leaned in towards Reborn.

"Are you sure about this Reborn?" The blond asked, looking towards the smaller group with a similar expression to Thora's, "I've heard that the Tomaso family is being led to ruin thanks to that boy."

Smiling his usual, Reborn explained, "I tried the Varia, but they were too busy, I couldn't all the Arcobalenos together, the Shimon and Giglio Nero families were also busy and the CEDEF wouldn't come."

"I… see…"

"So, Naito," Tsuna tried friendly conversation, "Where have you been? I haven't seen you around…"

"I was in Italy doing mafia business and dating cute girls! Wanna see a picture of my latest girlfriend?!" Naito pulled a picture out, spilling another two dozen out while we did so, "Ignore the others! I broke up with them _ages_ ago!"

_He's exactly the same as before!_

A few minutes later, Dino was sitting on top of his pole with all his men surrounding him on the bottom, Naito was on top of his with Mangusta holding up the pole and the other two preparing to attack and Tsuna sat on his, Francis and Yamamoto holding the pole up with Gokudera and Ryohei squabbling about where to attack first. When Tsuna looked down, he noticed Anna come up behind them and whisper a few things.

"Yo," Reborn popped up beside the boy, "Useless Anna is less useless than I thought."

"What…?"

"She just told Gokudera and Ryohei to attack the Cavallone family because she had the feeling that Pantera would try and take out Naito on her own."

"Ehhh? She still attacks him?"

"Yup. She also said that it would be best if Gokudera took the right side and Ryohei the left and that they avoided hitting people and just attacked the pole. We'll see how that works out." Jumping down, he blew a whistle he had around his neck, "Begin!"

"Go Tsuna-kun!" Haru cheered happily as Kyoko called encouragements for her brother.

As the Cavallone men charged forward, Pantera leaped up to attack Naito and Mangusta panicked, letting go of the pole and letting Naito fall into the river.

"Heeey! I lost!" Tomaso Ottavo shouted with a grin.

Ryohei and Gokudera had apparently decided to ignore Anna's instructions and charged straight at the Cavallone group and were quickly swarmed and put down. The rest of them threw Francis and Yamamoto off the pole on top of one another and let gravity take down Tsuna. He wound up next to Naito in the river as Anna began cursing in English at the two who didn't listen to her and Thora held her back. Francis, strangely blushing, got up off of Yamamoto apologizing and Haru ran over to check on Tsuna, Kyoko to Ryohei.

"Hey, hey, Sawada-chan! You lost too!"

_I don't think I'll live 'till the Sports Festival!_

---^o_o^---

Luckily Tsuna hadn't gotten sick from his fall, since he had immediately been wrapped in towels and changed into warm clothes. On the day of, Tsuna stared in some horror at everything set up, despite all of his friends assuring him that he would do fine (except Anna who was running errands for Hibari), and that he shouldn't worry so much.

But worry he did.

"I still don't think it's such a good idea for me to be captain…" he muttered to himself.

"Don't be like that, Tsuna!" Ryohei shouted from behind him, "With Yamamoto and Francis winning all the races and Kyoko on the cheerleading team, this'll be a cinch to win!"

_Yeah, if you hadn't gotten me involved!_ When the spiky-haired boy turned around, he saw Haru and Bianchi standing with his mother, along with Lambo and I-Pin. _Must they always come?!_

"I believe in you Tenth!" announced Gokudera happily, "We'll defeat them all for sure after lunch!"

"I actually agree with octopus head for once!"

"Shut up, lawn hair!"

Shaking his head with a cheery grin, Yamamoto came over to the arguers, "Just like old times, ne? Next thing you know, someone will attack the other team captains!"

"Don't jinx it!" Glancing around, Tsuna let his eyes fall on the cheerleading part of the day. There were Kyoko and Anna, dressed in their cheerleading outfits and waving pom-poms and there was Lambo, crawling forward with I-Pin chasing after him-

Wait.

"Lambo!" Tsuna shrieked and took off towards the group.

"Nyehehehe! Lambo is a cheerleader too!" The little cow-boy jumped up and down in front of the girls and was doing little twirls in the air before he slipped on his face. Tears began to stream down his face.

"Oh, no! Lambo, come back here!"

"W-WAHHHH!" From out of his afro (which was beginning to actually look like real hair as he grew up) Lambo retrieved his Ten-Year Bazooka. Pulling the trigger, a puff of smoke appeared, followed by a seventeen year-old boy wearing a leather jacket, a helmet and a pair of motorcycle goggles. "Just when all the chicks were flocking to me," the boy grumbled. Most of the cheerleaders jumped back at the site of him, except Kyoko and Anna, the former knowing who he was and the latter not happy that somebody had interrupted team A's routine.

Stalking forward, the blonde gave older Lambo a deadly glare. "Get out of here right now," Anna hissed, her voice like ice, "And I might decide _not_ to rip out your lungs and use them as balloons. But it's a hard decision. So _go_." The air Anna gave off was practically suffocating everyone around her, so murderous was her mood.

"Uhh…" her victim hesitated.

"Now!"

"Going!" Lambo whimpered and ran off to hide behind Tsuna, "Please protect me from her, young Vongola!"

"Of course," people began to whisper, "It has something to do with Sawada…"

"Is that a cousin or someone?"

"I bet he's trying to cheat to win again…"

"N-no! That's not it!" Tsuna shouted, and dragged Lambo back towards his mother, I-Pin trotting at his heels. Sadly, he had forgotten that someone else had also decided to join his family to cheer him on.

"Romeo," Bianchi declared, holding up a bento filled with purple and fuming food, "I'll make sure you die this time!"

With a sigh, the seventeen year old gave his boos a two fingered salute, "So long, Vongola Decimo." The older Lambo took off running, Bianchi in hot pursuit.

At that moment, the bell for lunch rang. Haru happily offered Tsuna a bento while Nana took care of I-Pin and Reborn's food. The Yamamotos and Thora, along with the Sasagawas and Anna and Gokudera, decided to join them and share bentos. Francis was eating with the Kusakabe family not too far away.

As everyone was eating, Tsuna caught Anna taking a glance at another pendant watch. Though he had heard Hibari had stolen one, apparently she had replacements. "Does anyone have some extra food?" She asked.

Thora tossed her a box of sushi that came from the Yamamoto's restaurant, "Here. Why?"

"Hibari actually sent me out for food, but I don't feel like going off the grounds to find food for him in town." Standing up, she waved good-bye to everyone, "Thanks for the food! Good luck with the pole climbing!"

"Gaaah!" Tsuna shouted, "The pole climbing competition is next!"

"Don't worry! We'll do our best and win this thing, to the extreme!" Ryohei announced happily. But before he could continue with a rousing speech of fire and dreams and hopes that would make everyone in the vicinity stand up and cheer, he keeled over, clutching his stomach.

"Ryohei!" Kyoko cried out, reaching out to her brother. Beside him, an empty bento with purple stains lay on its side.

_He ate one of Bianchi's bentos!_ The mafia boss began to shake. Ryohei wouldn't be able to participate, meaning that one of their strongest people was out. Sure, Yamamoto and Gokudera would good fighters, and Francis was well enough too, but the boxer had to sit out. Their chances of winning went down significantly and his chances of coming out of this unscathed went from slim to non-existent.

"Don't worry," Reborn decided to cut in, "I'd prepared a replacement in case this happened."

"What?! Who?!" Tsuna asked, but a bad feeling was already stirring. _He couldn't have asked…_

"Hey," Hibari walked up to them, popping a final piece of sushi into his mouth and tossing the empty box at Anna behind him, "I'll be on your team for this."

"He's the replacement?!" Tsuna shrieked at Reborn, who simply smiled. Francis, looking very angry, stalked over.

"What's going on?! What is he doing here?!"

"Ryohei is sick, so Hibari is going to be his replacement." Explained the fedora wearing toddler.

"I'm not going to be on the same team as _him_," hissed the newcomer. Strangely, all Hibari did was look at his despiser with a slight smirk and eyes that traveled up and down Francis' body. Francis noticed and began to turn red, "Wh-what're you doing?!"

"Mm? Nothing. But, if you don't want to participate," the prefect pulled out his tonfa and lunged in, hitting Francis' shin with a loud crack, "Then don't."

From behind, Anna jumped on to Hibari's back, "What the hell?! I'm the only allowed to sneak attack Francis! Me!"

Easily, he tossed her off, "Don't ever touch me again, weakling, or I'll break every bone in your body," he threatened, just as the bell rang to announce the end of lunch and Bianchi returned, carrying a young Lambo. Anna lay on the ground and scowled as Hibari walked by her, sticking out her tongue for good measure. The prefect just smirked and walked away.

Soon enough, Tsuna's nightmares were coming true. He was sitting at the top of the pole, staring down at the crowd below him. Francis and Ryohei were now in the infirmary being ignored by Dr. Shamal and Hibari was standing on his own, a large circle of space surrounding him as people kept out of his way. Yamamoto was with the group to attack team C and Gokudera would remain to help defend his boss. Tsuna closed his eyes and prayed it would be over quickly.

For about thirty seconds all he heard were screams, cracks and loud thuds. When he decided to open his eyes, all he could see was the no longer moving bodies of the other teams, his team cheering and Hibari walking away as he carried his tonfas by his side.

"Tenth!" Gokudera yelled up, "We won!"

_Oh thank goodness…_ thought Tsuna as he nearly keeled over with relief.

---^o_o^---

"Good job, Tsuna! I knew you could do it!" Ryohei cheered from his bed. In the one next to him was Francis, pale and talking with Thora and Kusakabe as Thora took care of the injured leg.

"It wasn't really me…" protested the smaller boy weakly, but his right hand man talked over him.

"Of course he could do it! The tenth is a great man! His leadership is second to none!" Gokudera declared passionately.

Kusakabe raised an eyebrow, "Even though it was Hibari-san who had defeated all of team B?"

"Bah! We would've won even without Hibari!" Announced Francis.

"Kyoko, could you pass me those bandages from over there, please?" Thora asked. The other girl nodded and was about to grab them when another hand snatched it up.

"Well, my beautiful young lady," Dr. Shamal had entered the room and was tossing the bandages up and down in one hand, a lecherous grin on his face, "This is the first time I've met you! I'm Shamal, the doctor here."

"It's nice to meet you," Thora said politely, "If I could get those bandages, please…?"

Leaning in, Shamal pursed his lips, "If you give me a kiss, I will."

"Francis. Hit him."

"Gladly!" A fist slammed into the doctor's face before Francis fell back on the bed, face pale from her injured leg, which had been jostled.

"Nice punch!" Shamal said admiringly, "No wonder Anna-chan always comes in here for ice packs if that's the kind of punches she gets."

"…What?" Hissed Thora as she turned towards Francis with a deadly spark in her eyes.

"She starts everything! Everything- OW! OW!"

_I don't think an infirmary should be this active,_ Tsuna thought to himself, and he sighed and left them all to the chaos.

---^o_o^---

In the reception room, Anna stood at the window and watched as students took down the tents they had set up. Behind her, Hibari worked on some of his paperwork, ignoring the activity outside.

Something had been tugging at Anna's mind for awhile, but she hadn't been able to figure out what it was. However, when her eyes were caught by the red and gold armband of the disciplinary committee, it clicked. The rumors of how people who angered the head prefect would disappear and never return, his need for total control and his usage of fear to keep it. With the red and gold symbols, it was almost stupid how she had overlooked it. The Russian Revolution and it's aftermath were one of her favourite historical subjects!

"Hibari…" She began, choosing to ignore his dirty look from leaving off an honorific, "If you'll pardon my rudeness, I must ask you a question." Pausing for dramatic effect but continuing before he could interrupt her, she asked, "Are you the reincarnation of Stalin?"

Silence filled the room, though it wasn't that impressive seeing how they were the only two in there, given that Kusakabe had left to see Francis and all the rest of the members were helping in the take down outside. Hibari whipped around and glared at her with icy eyes. "Weakling," he growled murderously, "Get out. _Now_."

Taking her cue, Anna booked it out the door, smiling all the way.

_Well, he didn't kill me. I think we're getting off to a good start!_

Back the room, Hibari rolled his eyes, returning to the papers in front of him. If that girl hadn't proven herself to be good at hunting down good food and relatively competent at whatever job he threw at her, he'd have disposed of her long ago.

---^o_o^---

_Hibari is Stalin, I swear it. Discovering how alike they are made the Russia unit in History so much more entertaining._

_And to 'F', who decided to nit-pick my work: I know where you live, I know where you sleep, it only takes me twenty minutes to get there and I have a certain cosplay at the ready. You have been warned._

_Tsuna still has the stage next chapter for his and Reborn's birthdays._


	8. Urban Legends Suck When Real

_So, I was playing Sims 3 and realized that if you make a sim a daredevil they will do everything TO THE EXTREME~! Someone needs to make KHR sims, now._

_I don't own KHR._

---^o_o^---

Every moment for the past three hours, Tsuna cursed the fact that he and Reborn shared birthdays right beside each other. Because of that, he now had to spend his weekend and birthday hiking and camping with his guardians, mafia family members, Dino and Anna.

On the bright side, at least they wouldn't have to worry about any wild creatures coming after them with Anna and Thora loudly singing Broadway at the back of the group.

"Popular! I'll help you be pop-u-lar! And with an assist from me, to be who you'll be-!"

Tsuna saw Francis walk up to Hibari, slightly limping (luckily nothing had been broken on Sports Day), and an obvious scowl on her face. "Look, I hate you," the brunette said as her intro. Hibari raised an eyebrow. "But I hate their stupid music even more. Two thousand yen if you beat them up."

"No."

"UGH! I hate you!"

Shrinking down, Tsuna could practically feel the weight of the tension behind him as Francis glared and Hibari ignored, and the foreign girls sang loudly (along with Ryohei, who had decided to add in some wordless harmony), Gokudera twitched and the entire group felt like a bomb twelve seconds from exploding and Tsuna held the pliers, but there were two red wires and Reborn held a heavy mallet to hit him with the instant he picked.

"Wow, Haru, I can't believe you brought all that cake!" Kyoko cheerfully mentioned, immediately shutting up Anna and Thora as they ran over to discuss desserts, relieving Gokudera and Francis of their headache. Of course, if one annoyance is over, another must begin.

And so, three minutes later, the rain began to fall.

"Comedic timing. Embrace it." Anna said casually as she walked up to Tsuna with a piece of cake in hand and passed him an umbrella, "Now, go get your girlfriends out of the rain."

"They're not my- how did you know it was going to rain?!"

The girl held up her iPhone, "My Weather Network is better than your Weather Network."

Thora, who was with Dino under his jacket, blinked in surprise as they came over, "The Weather Network covers Japan?"

"Yup."

"Sweet."

"Tsunayoshi!" The blonde whipped around, "Your girlfriends are getting wet in the not-fun way! Take your phallic symbolism and go!"

Poor Tsuna held up the umbrella and realized what the weird girl "Ah- ju- bu- EH?!"

"GO!" And with that, she shoved him right into Gokudera, who had been coming over to yell at Anna for harassing his boss. Quickly, Tsuna calmed him down, pulling on his right-hand man's shirt until he stopped shouting rude exclamations at everyone. By that time, though, Kyoko and Haru had found their own umbrella and everyone had a form of covering.

At that time, Reborn showed up, "There's an old house just a mile that way that looks abandoned. We could probably camp out there until the rain stops."

"An abandoned house?" Tsuna looked at his tutor with skepticism, "But what if there's a serial killer hiding out there? That's what happens in all the movies!"

The toddler narrowed his eyes, "You've defeated Mukuro, Xanxus and Byakuran and made it through the inheritance ceremonies, not to mention countless other things, but you're still afraid of a serial killer? Get a grip, loser Tsuna." With that, he walked away.

The teenage boy shuffled along with the others, the girls holding umbrellas and watching over the younger kids behind him, while he dwelled on Reborn's comments. Sure, he had beaten them all, but he still wanted to retain a little normalcy, like fearing danger. But on the bright side, he had Gokudera and Yamamoto here, not to mention Dino, Reborn and Hibari! No serial killer would stand a chance!

Unless, Hibari turned out to be the killer… A quick nervous glance towards his Cloud Guardian showed signs of irritation as Ryohei and Anna loudly discussed who should get first dibs on the bathroom in the morning with Francis supporting Ryohei to spite Anna and Lambo running around, playing with I-Pin. If Hibari snapped, they were all dead. He was about to suggest that everyone quiet down but the house they had been going towards came into view.

It looked just like almost every stereotypical haunted house in any horror movie. The house was built not in a Japanese architectural style, but rather a like a small Victorian mansion, with three stories and a small amount of square feet per floor. The shingles were falling off the roof and all of the windows were boarded over and every bit of it was screaming that nobody should enter there unless they wanted to be met with an untimely death by falling through rotting wooden floors or by being chopped into very small pieces by an axe murderer hiding out in the basement.

"This looks like an extremely fun place to explore!" Announced Ryohei in his usual boisterous way. Lambo was already running up towards the house, I-Pin, Kyoko, Haru and Thora in tow. Dino and Yamamoto quickly followed with Anna, Francis and Hibari behind them, and Gokudera took up the rear with Tsuna and Reborn.

"Don't worry, Tenth!" Gokudera whispered at his boss with a wink, "I figured something would come up, so I brought Uri along!" Reaching under his shirt, he pulled out his ring that held his box animal.

"That's great, Gokudera!" Trying to sound cheerful, Tsuna's voice fell flat as they entered the house. Just as the outside had promised, the floors were rotting and the wallpaper was peeling off, showing more decaying wood. Broken glass littered the narrow hallway that the followed until they reached a large open room where grey light filtered through the cracks in the boards. Yamamoto and Francis removed some of them to allow more light into the room.

"So, what do we do now?" Asked Thora casually.

"Draw straws to see who will be the sacrifice we send out to look around this place." Was Anna's answer.

"What do you mean by 'sacrifice'?" Her host-sister asked innocently.

The blonde warmed to her subject, "Well, in all horror movies, there is a creepy old house, like this one, where a serial killer is hiding out. Inevitably, a group of older teens will decide to explore it, and will get killed off one by one. Therefore, in order to avoid certain occurrences, I propose we sacrifice someone first."

"What occurrences?"

"Well, it's always the blondes that die first, so it'd either be me or Dino."

"What?!" The mafia boss shouted, not enjoying that idea. Tsuna, on the other hand, just sighed happily, knowing he wasn't the only one thinking that this whole set-up was suspicious.

His silver haired friend quickly joined in on the 'this is so a horror movie' idea, "Of course, it'll have to be a virgin who dies first, since that's the way everything goes." Dino and Thora sighed in relief and Anna and Francis scowled and muttered something about castrating a person back home. "And we can't sacrifice any fighters, so that leaves those three!" His finger was jabbed at Kyoko, Haru and Anna.

"Not Kyoko and Haru!" Objected Tsuna loudly.

"So, it's _her_." Everyone turned towards Anna, the blonde gulping and diving behind Francis for protection.

"Or, it could totally not be me and we could just stay here and chill," she pointed out, "Besides, I totally fit the 'final girl' thing. I'm a virgin, straight edge, and have the killer's morals otherwise. It's all good."

"Yeah, right," muttered Francis skeptically.

"Hush, dear."

Quickly trying to move the conversation in another direction, Yamamoto pulled out the food and passed it around, leading everyone back onto the track of Reborn and Tsuna's birthdays. The light outside soon dimmed, though, reminding everyone of how late it was getting in the year and soon the topic returned to the possibility of horror in the house they took shelter in. The rain outside was still going strong and harsh winds joined it. The Sasagawa family pulled out some lanterns to light the room and they all pulled into a circle with the exception of Hibari, who leaned against the wall in a corner.

"Would you all like to hear the story of this house?" Asked Reborn somberly. The people in the room nodded, with the exceptions of the less extroverted ones and Francis.

"Is it a scary story?" The latter questioned, frowning.

"Scared, herbivore?" Hibari's voice carried through the darkness form where he was.

"No! I just wanted to know!"

The hitman toddler pulled out a gun a pointed it at them, "Do you want to hear the story or not?"

"Alright, alright," Francis sighed, holding up her hands. Hibari just turned away, not interested.

"Well then," settling in, Reborn began, "One hundred and fifty two years ago, an eccentric Englishman settled in this area. Longing for his old homeland, he found a large clearing in the woods and decided to build a mansion there. He added many secret passages to it, as he was an odd man.

"However, within a year after the building was finished, the man ran off back to England, claiming that the place was haunted. A rather rich merchant and his wife decided to move in with their children, not believing him. But, soon, they began hearing strange noises in the night coming from the chimney. They, too, left, fearing a vengeful ghost.

"Now, the wealthiest landowner in the town that was to become our Namimori was very curious as to what those noises could be. He offered land and wealth to anyone brave enough to spend the night in this mansion. The people were superstitious, though, and refused. But one day, a boy went up to the man and said he would do it. His father had passed away and his mother was very ill, so he was desperate for the money. The only request he made was that his dog would be allowed to stay with him. The wealthy landowner accepted and the boy went off late that very evening.

"At first, the boy was completely unafraid and watched the sunset while playing with his dog in the largest room of the house. Eventually, he went to sleep, dreaming of what he could do with the wealth and land he would receive. But then, the clock struck midnight. The boy awoke to see his dog whimpering and whining, and he heard a strange dragging shuffling noise outside. It kept on coming closer and closer, the dog's noises getting worse and worse and the boy's heart pounding with fear.

"Suddenly, he heard the noise most famed: a sound of something dropping down the chimney. The dog howled and out of the fireplace rolled a bloody head, eyes rolled back and staring at the boy. A loud, piercing scream erupted from the young boy's throat and the dog dropped dead on the spot.

"The next morning, a few village men went with the landowner to find the boy and reward him. But when they arrived inside, all they found was the unmoving dog and the boy in a corner, alive but not responding, and no head in sight."

Eerie silence filled the room, broken only by the chattering of teeth and shivering taking place amongst almost everyone. Almost.

"Let me guess," drawled Anna sarcastically, "The wife of the merchant who moved would later chant 'Bloody Mary' in front of a mirror three times and get her husband killed. Afterwards, her fat daughter would drink water out of a river and swallow snake eggs, which would hatch in her stomach and eat through her skin, and her other, more beautiful, daughter would go to a dance one night and dance with a man who had cloven hooves." She scowled at the hitman, "I know _all_ the stories. Be more original."

"Way to ruin the story, useless Anna," glared Reborn.

Tsuna glanced nervously between them, trying to stop his shaking, "You mean… it's not true?"

"About as true as the stories of a woman who blew her dog up in the microwave trying to dry him."

"That's not true?!" Shouted Gokudera, Dino, Yamamoto, Thora and Francis simultaneously. All Anna did was smack her head and sigh.

"Well, why don't you tell a story, then," suggested Kyoko happily, "If you know them all."

Standing up, the blonde shook her head, "No way. I hate scary stories, they give me nightmares. I simply enjoy debunking them." She idled towards the door, "I'm going to go see if I can find a library or something the 'eccentric Englishman' might've left behind while you guys pass a few around. Enjoy."

Once she was gone, Gokudera smirked and rubbed his hands together, "I'll share a few, then," he smirked, determined that he would defeat all others by getting to the good stories first, proving that he was obviously the right man to be the Tenth's second.

---^o_o^---

"..then they told her to get out of the house – they didn't have a statue in their room." He finished triumphantly, watching as girls cuddled together and boys stared at him in utter horror.

"G-Gokudera…" whimpered Tsuna, his face completely white. His most loyal man looked at him in shock.

"I'm so sorry, Tenth! I didn't mean to scare you! I apologize very deeply-!"

An ear-splitting scream interrupted him, reverberating around the room. Immediately, Francis and Thora were on their feet. "Anna?!" Francis shouted loudly, whipping her around, "Anna, are you alright?!"

No answer met her calls. Turning around, the fake boy was about to demand that someone help her go find her friend when she noticed something, "Hey, where did Hibari go?"

Eyes widened as they all stared at each other, "Did Hibari just kill my Anna?" Squeaked out Thora.

"He dies," Francis growled, "He dies a thousand painful deaths by various implements up to and including his own personal mastication."

"Agreed."

"Maa, maa," Yamamoto attempted to calm them down, "Hibari wouldn't do something like that."

Dino chimed in, "Yeah, he probably just snuck up on her or something like that."

The other two shook their heads, "You don't sneak up on Anna," Thora insisted, "And if you somehow manage to, you're the one who ends up screaming."

"Unlike you," teased Francis, "It's so damn easy to sneak up on you!"

"Shut up!"

"I'll go check out what happened," offered Yamamoto.

"And I'll go with him to make sure Hibari doesn't really kill anyone," the blond mafia boss decided. Tsuna watched the two walk out of the room with some relief. If Yamamoto and Dino went, there's no way anything bad could happen. Everything would be just fine-

As quickly as the first had come, two screams obviously from males was heard, followed by a series of loud thuds, and then nothing.

"HIBARI GOT THEM TOO!!!" Screamed Haru, leading Kyoko, Lambo and Tsuna to join in with her panicking.

"Shut up," Reborn ordered and jumped up to kick Tsuna in the head, sending him flying, "You're the boss – take control here."

When the young mafia leader got up, everyone was looking at him expectantly with different expressions on their faces: Haru, Kyoko, Lambo and Thora's showed fear, Ryohei's enthusiasm, expectancy from Gokudera and I-Pin and rage from Francis. Reborn's face showed nothing at all.

Gulping, he began to come up with a plan, "W-well, I guess we have to start looking for those four, right?" He glanced about for encouragement, "I guess we'll split into groups of three. Umm," picking quickly, Tsuna decided, "Haru, Gokudera and Lambo will be one group," at least with their noise level they'd be easy to find again, "Francis, Thora and I-Pin," between I-Pin and Francis, they wouldn't find much trouble – _but what about Yamamoto and Dino? _A small part of him asked. He pushed it away, returning to the task at hand, "And that will leave me, Ryohei, Kyoko and-"

"I'll stay here, in case someone comes back," the toddler offered. With a nod, Tsuna went to his new group and they all dispersed down different areas. While Gokudera's group would simply wander in hopes of finding someone, Francis's was specifically looking for Yamamoto and Dino while Ryohei and Kyoko had asked to search for their foreign sister. They had decided to go off to the right and look around the second floor.

As they went up the stairs, Kyoko tugged on her brother's shirt, "Will Hibari kill us too?" She asked worriedly. Both Tsuna and Ryohei at once began to try and convince her otherwise.

"It's probably just a misunderstanding-"

"He would never kill her-"

"You even said he was nice-"

"He's fought for us all the time-"

"EVEN IF HE TRIED SOMETHING I WOULD BEAT HIM TO THE EXTREME!!!" Roared Ryohei, fist in the air.

Waving his hands, Tsuna tried to calm him down, "It's all good," he said weakly, taking a glance over at Kyoko. She caught his eye and giggled at her brother's antics as they carried on down the hallway.

It was cold up there. There must have been a gap or a broken window somewhere because a draft was continually rolling over them, causing them to shiver. The rain seemed to be pouring harder than ever.

"How do you think the others are doing?" Tsuna asked his group. However, as soon as he asked that, they heard Gokudera yelling from upstairs followed by a loud bang.

"Gokudera?!" Yelled out Tsuna as Kyoko called Haru's name, "Lambo?!"

There was no answer. Instead of continuing on down the hallway, the group ran back towards the stairs, only to stop dead when they heard slow footsteps descending down them. Heart pounding, the spiky-haired mafia boss threw open the nearest door and pushed the other two into before slamming it behind him.

The room they had entered was a bedroom. It was small and neatly arranged, all perfectly arranged as though someone had just finished cleaning up before they left. A bookshelf held only a bible and three books but was filled with more objects that looked like they came from various areas around the world. The bedside table had only a candle and on the bed…

"What's this?" Ryohei questioned as he picked up a strange bundle in stained cloth.

"No, wait, don't-!" Tsuna shouted as Kyoko shrieked and something tumbled out of the cloth and landed on the floor.

It was a bloodied head.

"AHHHHHHH!!!" They all screamed and barreled out of the room, barely making it safely down the stairs. As their feet hit the bottom, they heard from far away Thora's voice screaming out and then all was silence.

The boxer stepped in front of the other two, "That's it. I'm going to go and find out what's going on. Sawada," Ryohei looked at his boss straight in the eye, "I'm trusting you to take of Kyoko for me."

Realizing what this meant, Tsuna nodded and with a two fingered salute, his sun guardian set off. The darkness in the hallway was so great that within two steps, they could no longer see him.

"What now, Tsuna-kun?" Kyoko asked quietly, "I still want to find Anna. She's my little sister."

About to question how she could already feel that way about someone who had only been living with her for two months, Tsuna closed his mouth. He knew the feeling, remembering how after only a little while Lambo, I-Pin and Bianchi felt less like guests and more like the siblings he lacked. He was about to suggest that maybe they should go back upstairs when another loud yell interrupted him.

This time it was Ryohei's.

"Onii-san!" Shrieked Kyoko, starting towards his direction. Tsuna's arm snapped out and grabbed her wrist.

"It's too dangerous, Kyoko-chan!" The Vongola boss whispered.

"But, Tsuna-kun-" her words dried up as they heard footsteps coming towards them. Eyes widened, Tsuna could see they held fear in them.

Stepping in front of her, he took out his mittens and prepared himself, "Don't worry Kyoko-chan," he told her, "I will protect you."

The girl looked at him for a moment before smiling and nodding. With that, Tsuna peered into the darkness at the strange shadowy figures coming nearer. The footsteps immediately quickened.

"TENTH!"

"TSUNA! KYOKO-CHAN!"

"WAHHHHH!!!" 

Three bodies rammed into Tsuna, knocking him to the ground. One of them immediately threw themselves back.

"I'm so sorry, Tenth!" Apologized Gokudera, "I didn't mean to hurt you! You two!" He snapped at the others, "Get off of the Tenth and say you're sorry!"

Haru pulled off first, "Sorry!" Sniffling, she hugged Kyoko, "It was so scary! We had gone up to the third floor and went into a room and Lambo was running around so Gokudera started yelling at him and Haru told him to stop it but then Lambo ran into the door and got it stuck so we were stuck in there! Gokudera finally managed to break it when he heard Tsuna screaming, though."

"It was my loyalty to the Tenth that made me strong," claimed the bomber as he lit a cigarette and gave a thumbs-up.

"Ugh, what's that horrible smell?" Another voice came out from the darkness. Soon, Francis appeared holding up a newly turned-on lantern and Thora and I-Pin followed.

Immediately, relief ran through Tsuna. Here were two of the groups they thought were in trouble and they turned out to be perfectly fine. "What happened to you?" He asked as I-Pin ran over to Lambo.

"Sorry about the screaming!" Thora said, "But _somebody_," she glared pointedly at Francis, "Threw a huge spider on me!"

"It was dead, you baby!"

"Who's a baby?" Ryohei, Dino and Yamamoto walked up to them, all grinning sheepishly.

Whipping around, Thora glared at them all, "Where have you been?!" She growled, Mama Bear style, "Have you any idea about how worried we all were?!"

Dino looked at them all, shame-faced, "I tripped down the stairs and took Yamamoto with me," he admitted, "And when we got back up the stairs (which took awhile because I actually kinda maybe tripped again a few times, I'm not usually like this I swear), Ryohei found us and he tripped and back down the stairs we went."

As he nodded, Tsuna frowned, "So that accounts for everyone except Anna and Hibari. Where are they?"

"Right behind you, herbivore."

As the brown-haired boy jumped, Hibari walked out of the shadows carrying on his back as she waved feebly.

"Anna Isabella Weeks." Hissed out Francis, "Where in God's name have you been?!"

"Francis Morgause," the blonde answered, "In a library. With the candlestick."

"WE WERE ALL LOOKING FOR YOU TWO!!!" Francis yelled, "Why did you scream?! We thought that bastard had killed you!!!"

Said bastard dropped his load onto the ground, "I had gone to drag her back and force her to listen to the stories-"

Anna interrupted him, "I'm not letting you say what happened, you'll make it sound worse than it actually was." Turning to her audience, she smiled, "So I found a library – strangely there was no dust on the books and I noticed a collection of Robert Louis Stephenson's works that I have at home and it's only dated from the seventies, if you catch my drift - and I started listening to Waltz of the Flowers on my iPod and felt like dancing to it but I can't dance with my boots so I took 'em off and wound up with a sliver and then Hibari came and I hate slivers and can't bear to harm myself, I'm too pretty and-"

"Breathe, Anna," advised Thora. The blonde did as she was told and continued on.

"So, yeah, I made him pull out and I screamed 'cause it hurt. Then I was recommending some books to him – also, there was a copy of the Shadow of the Wind and that is not only a fantastic book but was also only written a few years ago – but we heard people continuously scream and I made him carry me down here 'cause my foot hurts and here we are."

A tonfa hit the girl in the head, "You talk too much."

"Suffer, punk - OW!"

The group all began to relax with everyone there and safe. Off to the side, however, Francis leaned towards her friend. "How did you manage to get him to carry you back?" She whispered lowly, "He's too much of a bastard to do something nice."

All Anna did was grin evilly, "I have items that pertain to his interest." Was her answer and she wouldn't speak anymore on the subject.

After calming down an argument between Lambo and Gokudera, Tsuna sighed, "Let's just all head back to the big room."

They didn't get a chance. Slow footsteps yet again began to move towards them. But this time…

"Isn't everyone already here?" Haru asked shakily, staring into the darkness.

"Not Reborn," Answered Francis.

Dino shook his head, "It's too heavy for Reborn…"

A shadowy figure appeared and held up an object that glimmered in the lantern's light before revving it.

"IT'S A FUCKING CHAINSAW!!!" Screamed Francis, clearly forgetting herself and screaming in English. Everyone got the point anyway as the figure revved it again and the light showed him to be wearing a hockey mask over his face.

In a flurry of movement and shrieking, the area was emptied, except for two people. Hibari, tonfas out and prepared to attack, was being held back by Anna who smiled sweetly up at the chainsaw wielder.

"That's a very nice prop there, but I've seen this trick before. Did you forget the chain at home?"

The prefect, frowning, noticed she was right and that the chainsaw was virtually useless. He relaxed his body and felt Anna release her grip on him, and the man in front of them chuckled and took off the mask, "Romario," Hibari greeted calmly, "I would've known if a house like this existed just outside of Namimori." The guardian directed this at Reborn who had joined them.

"Good job," the toddler complemented, "I expected Hibari, Gokudera and Dino to have figured it out by this time, but only one of them and useless Anna instead? I'm disappointed."

The blonde hung her head and sighed while another person slipped out of the darkness. This time it was a blond, tanned Japanese man with a large grin, "It took us a week to get this house built," the man laughed and glanced at the other blonde, "I'm Iemitsu Sawada, Tsuna's father."

Bowing, the girl introduced herself, "My name is Anna Weeks. It's a pleasure to meet you. Next time use older books so I can't date this place properly. Are there anymore fun things happening in this 'haunted house'?"

"Well, the rest of the group should've reached Basil and Kusakabe by now-" A chorus of screams interrupted him, "And have. There are a few more events that will occur. Lal Mirch is going to have a blast."

"Cool. You guys want some food?"

The men all looked at each other and shrugged before heading off to the room to enjoy cake and amusing noises in the night.

Once they got in there, Hibari pulled his assistant into a corner. "I want what you promised me."

"Alright, alright," sighed Anna and she pulled something out of her pocket and gave it to him, "Here's your picture of Francis before she cut her hair. I can't believe you have a crush on her."

"And this will never be spoken of again."

"Sure, but first may I offer you a nice deal on packets of Francis pictures? I sell them to her fangirls for two thousand yen, but for you I'll cut it down to fifteen hundred…"

---^o_o^---

This was officially the worst weekend ever. Tsuna had not really enjoyed what had been lovingly dubbed by the ones who sat around eating snacks while everyone else was terrified out of their minds 'the evening's shenanigans'. No one else was amused.

As they all hiked down the mountains, the members of the CEDEF that Iemitsu had brought with him mingled with the others, Lal discussing things with Reborn and Basil up front with Yamamoto and Gokudera. Kusakabe and Romario had apparently been pulled into this by his father and Reborn, who had set this while thing up.

And why, he had asked them, would they put everyone through all of this? And their reply was that it was to prepare him for the unexpected when he took complete control over the Vongola family when he graduated.

Life sucked.

---^o_o^---

_This was an exceptionally fun chapter to write, especially going back and finding some of my old favourite urban legends. Except the one that Gokudera tells. I hate that one._

_Next chapter: the Culture Festival and three birthdays within a week. Joy._


	9. Thank You

_Sorry this took so long, but May was a horribly busy month and the other chapter wasn't working out so I had to start a new one and push the other off. Because of this, you all get a bonus bit at the end._

_I don't own KHR._

-^o_o^-

A little known trait on the maternal side of Anna's family was being a research junkie. It had only shown up in her grandfather and her, but when it hit, it hit hard.

This would be probably the reason why she was up at 2:51 AM, sacrificing sleep to translate a forum for Italian bakers into English. While this may seem like an idiotic and fruitless endeavor, it was all for a very good purpose. Two days before, a large package had arrived at the door of the Sasagawa's home for Anna, shipped by her mother and filled to the brim with books. After the blonde had gotten Ryohei to carry the box up to her room (as her spindly arms were too weak and delicate, she claimed), she dug in to search for a specific book, after putting the care-package with cookies and letters from family, friends and worshipers to the side, and pulled it out.

_Cosa Nostra _by James Douglas. Once Anna had enjoyed a good couple of cookies (her mom always knew just how to put in the right amount of spice), she opened and the book and let her mind travel.

Within half an hour, she was panicking and frantically tapping the keys on her laptop. No way, no how, was it possible. It couldn't be.

Somehow, her _idiot_ friends had managed to become a part of a major Italian crime syndicate.

Not to mention she'd been wanting to join in too. After all, Yamamoto had said it was a game and he was one of the most trust-worthy people she knew. Maybe that kid Reborn had manipulated him too – except that she wasn't sure he was a kid anymore. He had said he was what, three, four years old? And yet the references in the book had claimed that a hitman by the name of Reborn had been operating for over _fifteen years_. The blonde sighed and tapped her head on the top of the screen. What to do now? How could she get her friends out of this?

Suddenly, she eyed the box of books speculatively. One book and a couple of websites wasn't the most information she could get, right? Obviously for something this serious she would have to do more research. Pulling out another book – _Origins of Organized Crime in Italy_ (boring title but reportedly an excellent resource) – she began to thumb through the pages, searching for any reference to the Vongola.

And y'know, when it was just a 'role-play', it was fine, but now that it turned out to be a real Mafia family? Who in the Hells of Hades names their crime family after a clam?

-^o_o^-

Which brought her back to translating the website. It wasn't easy, and she'd already had to use a couple of online translators and two different Italian dictionaries (plus a list of foods in Italian she'd found on the internet), but the result was well worth it.

It wasn't really a baking site, she had quickly discovered. After a few obvious hints, it became clear that there was more to this than what it looked like. It was a cover – a mafia website designed for bakers.

For the life of her, she couldn't quite figure out how she had managed to get on it, let alone figure out it was a cover. But Anna pushed those questions out of her mind and continued to translate, writing down things she found to be important to her new research (as well as a few recipes. Mafia or not, those cupcakes looked damn good.)

After about four hours of archive binging with a brief break for snacks, the blonde hit gold: information on Reborn and Tsuna. Apparently the ninth boss of the Vongola family had his three sons murdered by his fourth, adoptive, son. He then had to 'freeze' (she wasn't sure about that part – maybe it just translated weird?) the fourth and select his outside advisor's son, Tsuna, as heir. Though this conflicted with other things she had read about most mafia bosses successors not being their relations, she kept reading on: there was nothing more on this for about a year until someone with the screenname 'NaiNaiLoCha' (Anna figured it was that idiot Naito Longchamp) posted about how he'd made friends with the Vongola heir. Then there were reports about prisoners breaking out of a high-security prison, some being re-caught, others not, a battle between the un-frozen son (who was also the leader of an assassination group) and Tsuna and his friends for some rings, an inheritance ceremony and it just went on.

Around four, she remembered that she had school the next day and, cursing softly, went to bed, mind still swirling about with the new information, and also with plots on how to get her friends out of it.

-^o_o^-

"You look like you're dead." Francis commented on her friend's appearance. In response, Anna just glared.

Wrapping her arms around the smaller girl, Thora began to coo, "Aww, did my li'l Anna not enough sleep last night? My poor dear-"

"Enough of your mockery!" Snapped the blonde, throwing her arms up, "No I did not sleep well. I will inform you of why later. Let us simply go on to class with very little fuss."

"My," Thora mused with a smile, "You're awfully articulate for someone sleep-deprived."

"I said enough!"

The snippy mood lasted the whole day, alleviating only a little when Hibari bought a few more pictures of Francis off of her, which got some money into her hands even if ten percent of it went to Thora for the tip-off on Hibari's crush. Though Anna was notoriously oblivious to any form of romance around her, Thora always managed to catch what the slightest eye gesture and smile meant (or in Hibari's case, each glare and scowl).

Once school was over and she was done with her committee work/slave duties, though, she made her way to the Sawada residence for a little chat with a toddler.

"Ah! Anna!" Exclaimed Tsuna when she arrived, "What are you doing here?"

"I need to speak with Reborn. Please pardon my intrusion," she replied politely, putting on some slippers before heading into the kitchen where Nana had been making dinner.

"Ciaossu, Anna," greeted Reborn from his chair. A few bugs lingered on his face, "I heard you would be coming."

While Nana fussed and tried to insist that Anna stay for dinner, the blonde narrowed her eyes at the toddler, "Reborn, I demand that you release Francis and Thora from the Vongola family given that they entered it under the false pretense of it being a game."

Reborn took a sip from a teacup in front of him, "You used some rather large words there, useless Anna."

Her hands smacked onto the table, "Don't act so bloody condescending!" She snapped, "You heard what I want, now acknowledge it!"

"Tsuna-nii…?" A small voice from the hallway spoke out. A boy around twelve peeked into the room, "What's going on?"

Despite the fact that she was trying to be pissed off at Reborn and get some respect, Anna couldn't help but soften a bit. The boy looked a bit like one of her cousins. "You have a brother, Tsunayoshi? I didn't know that."

"N-no, this is Fuuta!" The spiky-haired boy corrected, "He stays here like Lambo, I-Pin and Bianchi do!"

"I see," the girl's eyes once again landed on the person that was irritating her, "Nevertheless, Reborn-"

"Fuuta," the fedora wearing toddler interrupted, "Can you do a ranking on useless Anna?"

The boy nodded as Anna looked between them, "A ranking? What do you mean by – woah!" She blinked in surprise as gravity seemed to stop working around them and Nana's rice cooker floated her face, "What's going on here?"

"This is Fuuta. I hear you, ranking planet," the boy said, "Anna is ranked number seven in ability to fast talk her way out of things and ninth in beauty among female mafia and mafia associates…"

"Aww, shucks," the blonde blushed.

"Also, she ranks four hundred and fifth in intelligence among eighty-five thousand and nine hundred sixty-five. However, in athletic ability she ranks eighty thousand and six. She ranks fourteen thousand and forty-eight in compassion, eighty-sixth in scatter-brained-ness and-"

Reborn put in his own question, "What about her as a potential member of the Vongola family?"

"What?" Shrieked both Tsuna and Anna while Nana swam by after a bowl of curry.

"Her potential to be an asset to the Vongola family is third."

"I see," the toddler nodded as everyone fell out of the air, "So, Anna I will issue you a challenge. If you win, Thora and Francis will leave the family. If you lose, you will join."

The blonde cracked her neck and glared, "First you call me useless and now you want me to join. But whatever, I accept. What's the challenge?"

"Get Kyoya Hibari to thank you for something within a week."

Tsuna's jaw dropped and Fuuta stared up from his spot on the floor, distracted from his scribbling down of the new rankings. Even Lambo and I-Pin who had just run in stopped dead in their tracks. Anna just stared at Reborn in horror, her face even whiter than her usual extreme pale.

"…You conniving son of a whore."

-^o_o^-

Still, Anna wasn't one to abandon her friends in time of need. Though she would never admit that she did things for them (quietly helping people out behind their backs was more her style – it let her keep up a harsh reputation), she still wouldn't back down from the challenge, which was why she approached Kyoko the next morning for help.

"Enh?" Asked her host-sister, surprised, "But Anna-chan, I thought that you didn't like to-"

"I know, I know," the blonde swatted her hand as if shooing a fly, "But I need to anyhow. Please, Onee-san?"

Smiling warmly, the older girl waved Anna into the kitchen, "Of course. I think we have another bento box in here. Is it for Francis again?" The blonde had been let off her lunch duty by Thora the dark haired girl had decided that she could practice making sushi every morning.

"Er, no, it's for Hibari…" Immediately she regretted saying that as Kyoko's face lit up.

"Are you going to declare your love for him?" Asked the Japanese girl perkily as the foreigner face-palmed.

"No, no, absolutely not. He is NOT my type," Anna said decisively, "Anyways, I don't want a boyfriend, and if I did it would be Yamamoto or someone nice like him; I've already dealt with enough assholes in my family."

"So, why…?"

Taking a chance, the blonde murmured, "Because Thora and Francis were deceived into joining the Mafia."

When Kyoko's eyes widened in a shocked but not surprised way, Anna knew she had managed to hit the target, "I heard that they had joined, but… they were tricked?"

"Yamamoto had said it was a game."

The orange-haired girl furrowed her brow, "But he knows it isn't a game. He's fought too," the corner of her lips twitched down as she said it.

Quickly, Anna decided to change the subject, "Whatever, I'll ask him about it later. What should I put in?" She waved her hand at the leftovers from the night's dinner.

Kyoko caught on, "Well, we should definitely make rice balls, and maybe some octopus sausages as well?"

"Ooo, do you mean the sausages cut up like octopi? Those are so cute!"

-^o_o^-

When the lunch bell rang, Anna slipped out of her classroom, bento in hand and a determined look on her face. Quietly, she meandered down the hallways before stopping in front of the door to the reception room. She took a breath to calm her nerves, _Now, now, Anna-puss,_ she used her mother's nickname for her in an attempt to help, _it's just a bento box. The worst he can do is say 'no'. Otherwise it'll be just fine-_

_But he can kill us with his brain!_ The less-composed part screamed.

_He is not River Tam, don't even get those images into your head, now GO!_ Swallowing her nerve, she opened the door.

No one was there.

"Son of a bitch," she muttered, turning around only to bump into a very solid figure.

"No swearing in the hallways, weakling," the very solid figure growled. Anna looked up into the face of the head prefect and decided that the 'Please-Don't-Hurt-Me-I-Didn't-Mean-It-And-I'm-Very-Cute' tactic might be best, given the expression on his face.

"I'm so sorry, Hibari-san," she simpered, eyes widened and brimming with false tears, "I didn't mean to, and I won't do it again!"

He snorted his disgust and pushed past her. Glancing around, the blonde was surprised to note that Kusakabe wasn't there. Damn. That meant that she had no protection from Hibari's wrath at all.

"What do you want?" Glaring, he sat at his desk and raised an eyebrow. Fumbling with her hands, Anna nearly tripped as she moved forward to hold out the bento box.

"Pl-please accept this!" She squeaked. The prefect narrowed his eyes at her.

"If this is a declaration of love, weakling, I'll bite you to death."

Twitching, she smacked it onto his desk, "I already know you like Francis – why would I have feelings for you?" She sniffed and turned her head away from him, "I know you usually get food by sending me or other members out for food at convenience stores, so I thought you might appreciate a home-cooked meal. Forgive me for being wrong." Just because _she_ didn't cook it didn't mean she couldn't try to use it to try and guilt trip him.

All Hibari did was glare, "I don't want it."

More twitching, "Just take it."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

Whirling around on her heel, the blonde stalked towards the door, "Well I'm leaving it there anyways! You better eat it or all that food's going to waste!" With that, she took her leave.

For an hour, Hibari busied himself with paperwork, purposefully ignoring the black lacquered box left on the wood. Every time he glanced up to grab another file it would be there, waiting for him. A low growling noise in his stomach reminded him that he still hadn't called in any lunch. After he spent about two minutes staring at the box with suspicious eyes he cautiously pulled it over and, checking to make sure that no one was nearby to see him, opened it.

He was greeted with rice balls, teriyaki beef and little octopus-shaped pieces of sausages staring up at him with little holes for eyes. As he twitched a little, he took out the chopsticks and picked up some of the beef, placing it delicately in his mouth.

"…Hmph."

After school when Anna reappeared, he informed her of her new duty:

"Weakling, you are now to bring me a bento every day for lunch."

"Wh-what?" She squeaked, cursing herself inwardly before getting over it, "Well, can I at least get a 'thank you'?" Hey, no one had said she couldn't fish for it.

"Don't push your luck, weakling, or I'll bite you to death."

Day one: fail.

-^o_o^-

"Here's your bento~!"

"Put it over there."

"Can I get a 'thank you'?"

"Leave, weakling."

"Will I get a 'thank you'?"

"…I'll bite you to death."

"Eee-! Not the spikes, not the spikes! I'm going!"

Day two: fail.

-^o_o^-

And, unfortunately, the next two days were the weekend and no amount of bribery could convince Kusakabe to give up the location of Hibari's home.

Saturday evening found Anna re-reading 'Water For Elephants' while trying to ignore the horribly girlish giggles coming from the room next to her. Though at first she had thought, to her utmost horror, that _Ryohei_ had been the one making that noise, her mind managed to pull out of her book long enough to remember that Kyoko had mentioned that she was having friends over for a sleepover. Just when she was about to fumble around for her iPod to drown it all out, her bedroom door opened and Kyoko's head peeked in.

"Anna-chan, would you like to join us?" She smiled in the way that was so sweet your teeth ached just looking at her.

Sighing, not really wanting to deal with people but knowing it would be rude to say no, Anna got up and followed the other girl into her room.

Inside, her worst fears were confirmed.

"Hi, Weeks-san!" Haru squealed out. Behind her, Bianchi, Hana and a quiet purple-haired girl with an eyepatch that she was sure she'd seen somewhere, "Are you going to join us? Bianchi-san was just telling us about how to seduce boys!"

The older girl tossed her hair back, "The way to a man's heart is through is stomach."

"I thought it was through the vena cavas and aorta" the blonde mused aloud. The other girls looked at her with some horror, "Oh, sorry, I'm just a cynic."

"But you're always so happy!" Objected Kyoko.

"I'm an optimistic cynic. I've accepted that the world sucks and will proceed to use that knowledge to my advantage." She pointed at the eyepatch girl and smiled, "I don't know you, cute girl whose name is a mystery to me."

The poor girl blushed and looked really nervous, "I'm…Chrome Dokuro."

"I'm Anna. Don't call me Weeks-san. Anna."

"Okay…"

Haru whipped around and pointed at the blonde, "So, Weeks-san-"

"Anna."

"Anna-chan, what experiences with boys have you had?"

Picking up some cake, the blonde smiled, "I have no interest in romance. This looks really good! Where'd you get it?"

The Italian woman stared at her in shock, "So, you've never been in love?"

"I have no interest in pursuing a romantic relationship until I'm in university. Is it from the bakery down the road?"

"You've never kissed a boy?"

"I'm asking a question here…"

"It doesn't matter. Boys our age are monkeys, anyway."

"Agreed, Hana-san. Now, back to the cake-"

"Never daydreamed about your wedding…"

"Or future children…"

A small hand tugged on Anna's nightgown, causing her to look over and see Chrome smiling shyly at her, "I like the cake too," the smaller girl murmured.

After blinking her surprise, the blonde pointed at the pineapple girl, "You're my new favourite."

Days three and four: fail with a piece of a cake.

-^o_o^-

Monday approached so quickly that when the sun rose up in the sky that morning even Ryohei had to spare a moment to glare at it bitterly before he wiped the sleep from his eyes and left for his morning jog. Not even Kyoko was immune from the dislike of the day's arrival; when she and Anna were putting together bento boxes, she wasn't as chatty as she usually was.

As for the blonde, she was asleep on her feet, nearly collapsing twice on the way to school before sleeping through the first two classes. The third she skipped altogether, heading off to roofs. For anyone else it would be straight out suicide, but Anna had a plan.

It only took about twenty seconds after she stepped onto the rooftop and closed the door behind her to get what she wanted.

"You should be in class, weakling."

"But it's only English – Wait, haven't we done this before?" Tapping her fore finger against her chin, the blonde started rummaging through her memory but was interrupted.

Hibari took out tonfa and began to walk towards with the full intention of using it. "A member of the Disciplinary Committee is supposed to set a good example for the rest of the students by _not _skipping class being a model of perfect behavior."

"…You're walking towards me with a weapon after you probably were napping on the roof during class time, _head prefect_."

His eye twitched as he got closer, "Your point?"

"Oh, I don't have one, I was just putting that out there." As she said this, she pulled a plastic bag out of her shirt, "By the way, I got this for Hibird – it's the type of seed he likes, right?" Dangling the bag, she put on a bright smile.

"Hmph." Snatching the bag, the prefect inspected it before nodding, "It is. Go to class now, weakling."

"Can I get a-"

"_No_."

"...snap."

Day five: fail.

-^o_o^-

"Kusakabe-kun! Where's Hibari?"

"He wasn't feeling well so he stayed home today. And no, I won't tell you where he lives."

"Not even for five thousand yen?"

"No."

"Seventy-five hundred yen?"

"No."

"Ten thousand yen, a bottle of vodka and a lap dance?"

"…Good-bye, Weeks-chan."

"OH COME ON!"

Day six: fail.

-^o_o^-

This was it. It was the last day to try and get Hibari to thank her for something. If she failed in this task, not only would Francis and Thora be stuck in the Mafia, but she would have to join too. It was now or never.

According to a message that Reborn had left with Tsuna, she had until five o'clock to complete her challenge, which was barely enough time but she could hopefully manage it.

"Kyoya~!" Anna sang out happily when she entered the reception room with a bento box.

The recipient of her enthusiasm glared up at her and held out his hand for the food, "I never gave you permission to call me that."

Cocking her head, the blonde held the box back, "But, Kyoya is easier to say," she clapped her hands to enunciate the syllables, "Hi-ba-ri. Kyo-ya. See?"

"Just give me the lunch and leave. And no, you can't get a 'thank you'."

"…Damn it."

Oh well. There was still the after school duties, right?

"Here are some records. I need you to look up their dates and what they refer to and then file them accordingly."

Two green eyes stared at him disbelievingly, "I've been working for you for three weeks and I still need to remind you that I can't read kanji?"

Her only answer was book thrown at her head. While she could've just stayed there and tried to talk him into giving her another assignment, she thought it would be better to just hunt down another member of the committee and get them to help her. Quickly, she managed to find Kusakabe supervising some kids with detention and he put them in order for her and told her how to file them.

A short glance at her pendant watch gave her some bad news: _Only twenty minutes left…_She ran back to the reception room after doing the filing. "Kyoya! Is there anything else that needs done?"

The dark-haired boy didn't even look up, "No. You can leave now."

"Actually, I think I'll stay here, in case you need something. Or in case you want to just randomly thank me for something. Y'know. Randomly."

"Don't crowd me, weakling."

"There's only one of me! How can I be crowding?"

"You are the crowded equivalent of three Tokyos," he snapped, "Now leave."

Defiantly, the girl sat down on one of the couches, "Actually, I'll just wait here until about five." When she looked at him as if daring him to comment, he only raised his eyebrows and proceeded to ignore her. The silence in the room lasted only about five minutes before she broke it.

"Are you sure?"

"About?"

"Not needing to thank me for anything? I mean, I've made you lunches, got some seed for Hibird, done everything you've asked me to…"

Setting down his pen, Hibari looked at her with an almost amused face, "Well from what I know, you only have five minutes left to get me to do so."

Anna jumped out of her seat, "You… knew?" Her voice trembled, "You've known for this entire time?"

"Yes."

"Th-then," she threw herself at his feet, "Please, Kyoya, please! If you don't, my best friends will have to work for the Mafia! They don't understand that's it's not a game!"

"It's not my problem."

"But Francis-"

"Time's up."

Both teenagers looked towards the window where Reborn stood triumphantly, "It looks like useless Anna has lost."

"But, you cheated! You told him!" Objected Anna.

The smile on the toddler's face widened, "Actually, Tsuna did. He asked Hibari to help you. Clearly it didn't work. Welcome to the Vongola."

While the girl stood there stunned, Hibari glanced over at her and smirked, "By the way, weakling, thanks for everything you've done this past week."

The next day, no one dared ask why Hibari had a bruise on his cheek or how Anna managed to get into the hospital with a severe concussion and cracked ribs.

-^o_o^- Stop! Haru time! -^o_o^-

"Hahi~! Welcome to Haru Haru Interview: Dangerous Corner!" Shouted Haru happily into her microphone.

"Ciaossu," greeted Reborn from his chair.

"Today, we'll be interviewing the beautiful and mature Thora Mengelkoch!" Descending from the ceiling was a box holding Thora, who was smiling happily.

The girl smiled at her interviewer, "Hi, Haru-chan! I'm happy to be here!"

"That's good! So, let's start off – what is your birthday, blood type, height and weight?"

"My birthday is November fourteenth and my blood type is O!" She tapped her finger on her chin, "And my height is 172 cm, and I weigh 68 kg."

"Wow! You're so tall!" Haru giggled, "And nicely proportioned, too! You must get lots of guys!"

Thora blushed, "Well, yeah, my mother was a model, so I guess I get my looks from her…"

"A model?" Waving her hands Haru quickly turned away, "Then if her mother was a model, she must come from a very glamourous family!"

"Ah, your mother is Sandra Mengelkoch, yes?" Reborn asked.

"You know her?"

"Here," pulling out some picture, he passed them to Haru and Thora, "I did some research and found these."

"Hahi~!" Shrieked out Haru, "She looks exactly like you!"

"I get that a lot."

Leaning in close, Haru asked, "What about the rest of your family? What are they like?"

Smiling happily, Thora was more than glad to talk about them, "My dad, Donnie, is a writer and my mom now works in health and such. She also knows a lot about natural healing and all. And my little sister is Cooper, and she likes punk clothes and anime. I also have the cutest little hamster!"

"Aww, what's its name?"

"Quincy Edward Jacob Edwob Dimitri Crimson Arabella Hardy-Mengelkoch." The two interviewers stared at her, Reborn in annoyance and Haru in amazement, "Don't look at me like that, Anna named her!"

"Right, next topic!" Haru decided to move on, "So, what's your relationship to Dino-san? You two seemed awfully close on the hiking trip."

A sly grin crossed over Thora's face, "We're just friends. For now."

"Why would you want him?" Frowned Reborn, "He's just a clumsy fool."

"But he's a _cute_ clumsy fool!" Hands on her face, Thora began to sigh contentedly, "And he's nice and polite and a gentleman and strong and smart and…"

"A mafia boss."

"With all of the above traits!"

"Oh no!" Shouted Haru, "We're out of time! That's all for this weeks Haru Haru Interview: Dangerous Corner! See you again desu~!"

-^o_o^-

_Next chapter: Francis takes on the Culture Festival, a multitude of birthdays in a short time and the author's procrastination. _


	10. The Culture Festival of Doom, Eh?

_This was supposed to be posted two weeks a go, but I'm an idiot and forgot to take my power cord with me to my grandparents. Oops. Thank you for being so patient with me! Here's the new chapter! _

_Also, I have no idea if you're allowed to have another culture for the Japanese Culture Festival. Probably not. Just run with it, 'kay?_

_If I owned KHR, every chapter for the past month would not have happened._

-^o_o^-

In early November, a classroom was holding a large debate. Two sides had declared that there would be no compromise and now things had begun to get ugly. One person had insulted a mother, another had thrown an eraser, a stick of dynamite went up into the air and all out war was declared.

All this over whether to have a café or a haunted house for the Culture Festival.

The three foreigners had decided to stay out of it. Instead of fighting it out and getting into trouble, they had chosen to simply work on their studies from back home. Unfortunately they couldn't get credit for their classes in Japan so they needed to work on courses through the home-schooling program. While Francis had it easy with only five studies happening, Thora and Anna were nearly suicidal after taking on a full schedule with eight courses.

Francis growled after having to duck for the third time. The day was already beginning to piss her off without all of this fighting. It was an icky, cloudy day, her homework she had sent home didn't get very good marks and Thora and Anna weren't letting her copy their work. In fact, Anna, who had only been released from the hospital two days before, was purposefully working on her Creative Writing stories so that her friend couldn't peek over her shoulder and steal answers.

A book slammed into her head. Finally tired of having to deal with all of the idiots, she stood up and slammed her hands on her desk, "THAT'S IT!" She roared, stopping everyone in their tracks, "We are not going to do either of those!"

"But, then… what should we do?" A person asked her nervously. She thought his name was Touya or something but she couldn't remember.

"We shall…uh…" Stroking her chin, the crossdresser kicked the chair in front of her, "Anna! Thora! What should we do?"

The blonde answered immediately, "Burlesque show."

The whole class stared at her in silent shock. "Alright, we won't use her idea," Francis said, rolling her eyes, "Thora? Or anyone else?"

"Well, if we have Canadian students, why don't we do something Canadian?" Another student, Ayumi, suggested. A chorus of agreements met that.

"But isn't it supposed to be Japanese…?" Thora mentioned.

"I like the idea," Yamamoto grinned, "We could have flags up and serve pancakes with maple syrup…"

Anna joined in, "If we got a screen and a projector to hook up to my laptop, I could download the greatest hockey moments in history."

"And- and the Ogopogo!" Called out Gokudera.

The blonde Canadian glared at him, "Idiot, the Ogopogo is a lie! I've been to the Okanogan, it's not there!"

"You're the liar! It does so exist!"

"What about Anne of Green Gables? We could have someone dress up as her and be hostess." This idea came from Kyoko.

"Awesome!"

"I like it!"

"This will be so cool!"

Within moments the entire class had decided to do a Canada-themed pancake café. The original café side inwardly cheered as the haunted house folk nursed their wounds and plotted revenge.

Thankfully that had been the last event of the day, so after the class had cleaned the room, Francis went to the gymnasium for her boxing club training.

She had long since made her excuses to Ryohei about wearing a t-shirt rather than having a bare chest in the ring, saying that she was very uncomfortable with the idea that Anna might walk in at any time and see. All the boy said was that it was fine with him (to the EXTREEEME~!) and that his new club member should get some gloves from the equipment room.

It turned out that Francis actually enjoyed boxing. Being able to punch idiots out was rather cathartic for her, especially if she imagined the face of He Who Shall Only Be Named In Curses. She felt rather lucky that he apparently had gotten sick and wouldn't be at school for a few days.

"Alright!" Shouted Ryohei passionately, "Today you must do exactly one hundred and fifty-two push-ups and then the same number for sit-ups! Afterwards, box until you drop!"

Amidst the yells of the club, Francis yawned and decided that it would be best to skip and head out to grab Thora and drag her off shopping. Bianchi, Kusakabe and Thora all had birthdays within a few days and she had procrastinated on picking up presents for them for as long as possible. Slipping out the door, she headed off to the baseball team's practice area.

Thora actually had managed to get on the boy's baseball team, to everyone's surprise. Although they had been skeptical of accepting her at first, since she was a girl and it was a guy's team, they quickly changed their minds when they found out her batting average was almost as high as Yamamoto's.

However, she wasn't too interested in ditching practice. "But, but, I have to go!" The oldest of the exchange students pouted as the youngest blocked her from going into the change room, "I want to play baseball!"

"But Thooooraaaa~!" Whined Francis, "I haven't gotten Bianchi or Kusakabe or you any presents yet!"

"If you're buying for me, shouldn't I not come?"

"I don't know what to get you!"

"What's happening here?" A smiling Yamamoto walked up towards them, some equipment in hand, "Is something going on?"

Francis seized the chance, "My good man Yamamoto!" She cried out like a bad actor on the stage, "We have been summoned by a great wizard who needs our help in the mystical land of Virginia! I need to gather a band of heroes and first need Thora! Will you allow me to take her?"

The older boy blinked slowly. "I suppose."

"Ha ha, thank you!" The girl said cheesily, "You shall be rewarded with great luck for this!" And with that she dragged off Thora to go to the shopping district.

"I can't believe you did that!" Hissed Thora, who pouted as she wandered behind Francis through the shelves of the bookstore that Francis had decided to look around in for a present for Bianchi.

All Francis did was give a casual swat of her hand. "Oh hush. You can pick out a present for Bianchi too, and then Kusakabe and I'll get yours another day…"

Blue eyes glaring daggers, Thora crossed her arms, "What if I've already gotten presents?"

"I know you. You _always_ wait until the last minute."

"Oh hush."

Out of nowhere, a horrible growling, scraping voice spoke in a muted tone, "My, pretty little hens here, hmm? What are the hens pecking about?"

Both girls squealed and spun around to assault the creeper behind them, only to be met with the grinning face of Anna, who was holding a few paperbacks under her arm. "Hullo, my lovelies!"

"Next time you do that, I'm punching you in the face." Was Thora's promise, Francis nodding along in agreement and cracking her knuckles for emphasis.

"Bah. You know your lives would be meaningless without my creepery." With a bright smile, she asked them what they were looking for. Bibliophile that she was, she had already memorized the entire layouts of the few bookstores that there were in town.

Thrusting her hand into the air, Francis announced her intentions, "I want to find a cookbook for Bianchi!"

"And I'll get her a romance novel!" Thora declared in the same tone.

"That way and that way," Anna unhelpfully pointed in two vague directions, "You can usually tell by the covers on the books."

At that moment, the books under her friend's arm finally caught the notice of the fake boy. "Who are those for?" She pointed, "I know you can't read them, and you better not be spending the allowance you get on those!" Francis always had issues with the way that Anna spent money; the brunette rarely shopped for herself.

"Nuh uh," sniffed the smaller girl, "They're for Hibari. He sent me out to get them and some medicine."

"That's even worse! Don't spend your mom's money on him! Use it to buy presents!"

"I bought my presents ages ago, and I'm allowed to spend the money however I want! My mom even said I could spend it on porn!"

"ANNA!"

Gently pushing the two away from each other, Thora smiled at the blonde, "Will you shop with us anyways, my sweet adorable Anna-chan…?" She fluttered her eyelashes and tried to look cute, but Anna declined; she needed to get back to Hibari since he was running a high fever.

As she left, their friend gave them a cheery wave and skipped down the street quite merrily, leaving them to the confusion of picking out books in a foreign language. To their utmost relief, Nana Sawada had come in to pick up a housekeeping magazine she enjoyed and was able to help them make selections, promising not to tell Bianchi anything. The next stop was to buy Kusakabe's present, which was easy. All they had to do was buy half a shelf's worth of hair products.

They went back to Thora's afterwards and, after grabbing a few snacks out of the kitchen, headed upstairs to the older girl's room so that Francis could get some help with her homework and so that they could speak about the inevitable: boys.

A few miles away, making rice porridge for Hibari in his kitchen (for she had finally had the location revealed to her), Anna shuddered, feeling as though she had narrowly missed out on an irritating conversation.

"Hibari, Hibari, you so must like Hibari!" Sing-songed Thora happily as she looked over Francis' English work.

"ARGH!" Francis slammed her fist down on the table, "I hate that guy! He should just die in a hole!"

Striking a dramatic pose most likely stolen from one of Anna's shojo manga (the other girl had an astonishing collection of manga she claimed was worth over three-thousand dollars – if it hadn't been read so much it was all practically in pieces now), Thora decided to chance death at the hands of her best friend, "But the way he looked at you at the Sports Festival! How his eyes soften when they land upon your beautiful face! The way that-"

"'Kay, shut up now and do my work – I mean, check it over, ah ha!" The awkward laugh and smile did job and sufficiently distracted her friend from the topic of DEATH and back onto pouts about helping her.

"Isn't Anna the one who usually helps you with your English homework?"

"Yeah, but she's too busy making sandwiches for Hitard or something…"

A pause lingered in the air.

"Wait, no one told him about Anna's cooking skills?

-^o_o^-

Across town, a feverish Hibari stared at a tray of food very unimpressed.

"Weakling, how do you burn rice porridge?"

"S-shut up, I can't cook! Kusakabeeee~! You do it!"

-^o_o^-

When she got home that night, Francis didn't even bother to get out of her school uniform, instead throwing herself onto her bed with unnecessary force in hopes of beating the images Thora had unwittingly created out of her mind.

Her and Hibari dancing under the stars.

A field of flowers with them in the middle of it having a picnic.

A bed with satin sheets and the two of them intertwined, flesh showing –

"NOOOOOOO!" The faux-boy wailed leaping off of her bed (no satin sheets, just cotton) and smacking her hand onto her bedside table and swiping her Nintendo DS, "Save me, Pikachu, save meee!"

Downstairs in the kitchen, Keiko Kusakabe looked up from her plans for her son's birthday and smiled, shaking her head at her host-son's antics.

-^o_o^-

The Culture Festival was in full swing and class 2-A was exceptionally popular. Apparently when you mix pancakes with hockey games on a screen (all the Vancouver Canucks – apparently Anna was rather biased) and some of the most popular guys in school wearing parkas and the school's 'idol' dressed up as Anne of Green Gables, it created a magical force that would somehow summon over half of the school's students to the classroom.

Francis, parka hood up just to look cool and a little maple leaf on the end of her eyebrow ring, flipped a pancake where she was at the cooking area behind a screen. Also with her were Yamamoto and, mysteriously, Reborn, who had dressed up as a moose to 'fit in with his surroundings'. None of the foreigners were very amused. Thora was out working as a waitress in a 'sexy Mountie' outfit (concept by Anna, who quickly informed them that she had Disciplinary Committee work to do when they attempted to force her into it as well) and somehow Gokudera had managed to wrangle up an Ogopogo papier-mâché statue to display. Rumors claimed that it was filled up with candy and a certain blonde had called dibs on testing that.

A few flashes from cameras hit Francis's eyes causing her currently flipped up pancake to land on her head and slowly slip over her face. As her fellow cooks laughed and more cameras were pointed in her direction, she felt Yamamoto come up behind her and pull it off.

"Maa, you have to be more careful with those things," he said as she turned to pout at him.

"I was being careful. The camera-happy people distracted me." With a pout, she went back to cooking, giving a nasty look to the baseball player when he ruffled her hair.

But before he left, he glanced from side to side and leaned towards her in a conspiratorial manner, "Hey, Francis," he murmured, "Does Anna ever say anything about me?"

Brown eyes blinking in shock, Francis could barely believe what she'd heard, "You have a thing for Anna?"

"Uhh… maybe?"

"Well, you should probably ask her." _And I'll tell her not to be too harsh when rejecting you, as she inevitably will._

"I guess…"

At that moment, Thora peeked around the corner, her eyes wide in shock and horror.

"Who put Tsuna in one of the Mountie-waitress uniforms?"

"TENTH! You look RADIANT!"

Sighing, Francis turned the heat off on her stove and went to go help Tsuna. _There never will be a normal event here, will there?_

How the pictures of him wound up on the internet remains unknown.

-^o_o^-

Luckily for the digestive systems of everyone within the Namimori city limits, Bianchi had chosen to return to Italy for her birthday rather than bake a monsterous cake of violent and acidic death and force everyone to eat it. Instead, a few people wound up at the Kusakabe's house for a quiet birthday dinner. Though the foreigners had found out that the Japanese people didn't really acknowledge birthdays, they chose to be obnoxiously Western and so Anna had dragged over Hibari and tried to convince Thora to come, but as soon as the oldest girl saw the head prefect she declined and ran off to hide under the small table in her room.

Around the table, small talk circulated about, most people speaking of the weather and how it had been so unusually sunny for November and wondering if it last until December.

Across from one another, Francis and Hibari had entered into a silent competition to see who could eat the most rice and Teriyaki beef and the Kusakabes and Anna discussed regional history. Francis had finally gained the lead when she began choking on a piece of beef, Hibari smirking as he watched the fake male cough and run off to the bathroom. A frown was thrown at him by Anna while Tetsuya sweat dropped and the matron of the family went off to check on her host son.

Knocking on the bathroom door, Mrs. Kusakabe called in, "Are you okay in there?"

The door opened a crack as Francis peeked out, a slightly worn-out look on her face, "Yeah, I'm alright now." She pulled a face, "Though I've lost now..."

"That boy has always been competitive, all growing up." The woman smiled slightly, "His parents have always favoured his sister over him, so he feels like he has to fight for everything."

Francis slowly blinked, "So... his parents..."

"They live with his sister in Kyoto so she can go to a private school there. Hibari-kun lives alone with his housekeeper."

_That must be harsh. Poor guy..._ Her brown eyes shot wide open, "St-stop it, Kaa-san!"

"What...?"

"Don't make me pity the bastard!" Shrieked Francis as she ran back to the table, leaving her confused host-mother behind her.

-^o_o^-

Five days later, at school, Thora slid quietly into her desk and awaited the inevitable -

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY, THORA!"

That. Bouncing up and down in front of her were Francis and Anna both with their hands behind their backs and the looks of children who had just drawn the _bestest rocket ships EVER_. "We got you presents!"

The newly eighteen year old was touched. "Aww, you guys didn't have to - WHAT. IS. THAT!" She shrieked as pictures were shoved in front of her face.

"We bribed that Italian guy..."

"What's his face..."

"With the tattoo..."

"And the kinky whip..."

Face pale, Thora filled the name in. "D-Dino..."

"Yeah, him! We bribed him to send us nudies of him for your birthday! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"

She would've hurt them if they hadn't looked so bloody proud of themselves.

-^o_o^-

"Welcome back to Haru Haru Interview: Dangerous Corner!" Haru greeted ecstatically, "Today, Reborn and I will be interviewing the cool and tough Francis Morgause."

"Hmph," Reborn lifted his cup of coffee to his lips, "I hear he's still pretty beaten up from his last fight with Hibari."

"Oh no! Will he still be able to do the interview…?"

"Of course I can!" Down came Francis covered in bandages with her arm in a sling, "These are nothing!"

"So Hibari beat you again, then?" Reborn smiled.

"I just let him win is all!"

Haru pumped her hand into the air, "Let's get down to business! What is your birthday, blood type, height and weight?"

"Alright then. My birthday is June ninth, and I don't know what my blood type is, we don't put too much research into these things back home. I'm 180 cm and 60 kg."

"Cool! You share a birthday with my cosplay buddy Mukuro! So, what's the deal with your relationships with Thora and Anna? Why is a guy with two girls?"

"They're my best friends," Francis said simply, "I met them after Anna and I failed a math course and had to repeat it and Thora was also in the class. That was, what, two and a half years ago now…? So yeah, we just clicked."

"Alright, I have a question," Reborn declared and a screen showed up behind them with a picture of Francis with long hair, "Why do you look like a girl there?"

"Hahi~! He does!"

The interviewee stared at the picture in shock, "Where- where did you get that?" She shrieked.

"Anna's been selling photos of you to fangirls and any other buyers."

"WHAT? ANNA!" Francis stormed away off of the stage.

Haru scratched her head, "I guess that's all for today! I'll see next time for Haru Haru Interview: Dangerous Interview! See you again desu~!" She turned to the screen, "I wonder if Anna could get me pictures of Tsuna?"

-^o_o^-

_The theory that Hibari has an older sister who his parents favour was developed in Biology class with F and OutofOrder/sleepykitty/pick-a-name-and-stick-with-it-damn-it. Most interesting part of the class._

_Next chapter: Christmas and New Years in Japan! When it will be posted, nobody knows..._


	11. The Crackiest Chapter Ever

_HEY, LOOK, A CHAPTER AFTER TWO MONTHS! Yaaaaay!_

_I don__'__t own KHR, because if I did I__'__d already be about eight chapters behind. Also, Julie would be dead. Deader than dead. Deader than deader than - yeah, I__'__ll stop now._

-^o_o^-

The thick paper felt heavy in Thora's hand. With the pristine white envelope that had contained it lying on the kitchen counter (she would have to move it before Otou-san got home from the market), she read over the shining black calligraphy painfully penned in:

_You are cordially invited to participate in:_

_THE EXTREME CAVALLONE FIANCE BASH!_

_On November Twenty-Eighth at Namimori High Coliseum. _

_Competition begins at eight a.m. Please arrive by seven-thirty to register._

_Complimentary finger sandwiches and drinks served at twelve. _

"What…?" Thora murmured to herself, reading over it again more closely.

"Ciaossu!"

The Canadian jumped a foot into the air before spinning around and glaring at the toddler now sitting idly on the counter beside the envelope. "Don't do that!" She squeaked.

Reborn promptly ignored her complaints. "Are you going to participate?" With a quick nod, he indicated the invitation in her hand.

Once again, her attention was drawn to the paper. What was the Cavallone Fiancé Bash? Why was she invited? Did it have something to do with Dino? And why was the word 'extreme' used? Was Ryohei Sasagawa somehow involved in this strange event? Voicing her inquiries aloud, a smirk from Reborn was the only answer she received.

When the Yamamotos arrived home from picking up fish at the market (they knew better than to wake her up to join them), she turned her questions on Takeshi.

He scratched his head contemplatively while reading it over before breaking into a large grin. "Oh, I remember now!" Cheerfully, he handed it back, "It's some big fighting competition that they're holding at the school tomorrow!"

Tilting her head at him in confusion, she asked what they were fighting for. Was there a point in partaking in it? Should she just go and watch, or should she fight?

"I think they said something about the winner becoming Dino's wife or whatever!"

Twenty minutes later, she stood in the park with Francis and her kick-boxing tape around her hands. Though she had tried to get Anna to join them, the blonde had claimed that she was 'busy' and mysteriously left it at that. As such, Francis was the one who had been summoned to help coach her.

"Uhh, yeah." Nodding, Francis tried to look authoritive, "So, do, like, fifty push-ups? And ten laps around the park? For warm-up?"

Sighing to herself, Thora followed the instructions. By the time her laps were finished half an hour later, she was utterly exhausted. She dragged herself back over to Francis, who had spent the time munching on jerky and trying to look like a good coach.

The fake-boy glanced over her friend. "Alright, you're exhausted and stuff, and I'm not good at kick-boxing an' such, so I called Ryohei who called a guy he knew to help out. The guy's Italian, but he's here to help out as one of the judges for the bash, so he agreed to come over."

Thora blinked in confusion. "But who-?"

"Hiiii~!" A strange, oddly accented voice called out behind them. Turning around slowly, they saw a weird looking man wearing a trench coat and sunglasses, with an odd green side Mohawk-thing. "I'm just doing this as a favour, but please, call me Luss-nee-chan! But my name is Lussuriaaa~!"

Jaw dropping, Thora tried to think of an escape route, but it was too late. The terrifying man had already grabbed her by the arm and was dragging her off, talking about how he shouldn't be playing favourites, but if _that_ was the outfit she was going to wear, she would fail everything, especially the swimsuit competition, so they'd need to go shopping before training, and -

Wait.

Swimsuit competition?

-^o_o^-

"Welcome to the EXTREEEEEEME CAVALLONE FIANCE BASH!"

The lights shone into the corners of her eyes, nearly blinding her. All around her were strange girls, some big and tough, some who looked weak and fragile and - was that girl wearing a mask? And how did they get Ryohei as announcer? Why was there a Coliseum on the school property and how did they convince Hibari to let them build it? And, for the love of all things Holy, how on _Earth_ did they find a crowd of almost ten thousand people?

Stepping up to the MC's platform, Reborn snatched the microphone out of the boxer's hands and held it up to his lips. "Ciaossu," he greeted to the sound of roars, "Today we are gathered with these thirty-two females here to fight. And we all know the prize, correct?" With a snap of his fingers, a platform rose from the ground, a bound and gagged Dino at it's peak, wriggling around and trying to break free. At the edge of the arena, sitting at a judge's table, Romario just sighed and shook his head. "Whoever wins this competition will be the bride of Bucking Horse Dino and wife to the Chiavarone famiglia!"

All around Thora, the girls began shrieking with delight, except two. One was the masked lady, whose purple velvet cloak hid the rest of her body from view, and another with long, luscious sky blue hair. For some reason, Thora could've sworn that it had been a deep, raven midnight black before…

"But," Reborn interrupted them, "We have too many people to just fight one on one. Therefore, we shall start with a battle royale! The last sixteen girls standing will proceed to the next round!" The platform that Dino was unwillingly residing on disappeared back into the ground and Reborn hopped back to the judge's table.

Requisitioning back his microphone, Ryohei stared down at them with a fiery look in his eyes. "THE RULES!" He roared into the small object, causing feedback from the speakers around the arena, "NO KILLING AND NO LIMB HACKING! BEGIN!"

Was that it? Wondered Thora but before she had chance to question it, she was forced to duck as a glaive swung over her head, nearly scalping her. Falling to the ground and rolling away, the brunette dodged a round of bullets fired by some commando chick dressed in a similar style to Colonello's. A wisp of fabric passed by her and she whipped around just in time to see the masked girl avoid a series of martial arts strikes by a gung-ho Chinese girl before she disappeared, blending almost seamlessly into the air. A kick to the jaw reminded Thora of the battle and she struck out with her fists in time to stop another attack. Getting into position, the brunette prepared herself for another attack, only to here an almost familiar squall over the noise of the battle and cheering crowd:

"LAMBO-SAN WANTS FIGHT TOO!"

Following that, a single pink grenade dropped primly into the centre of the arena.

Diving backwards just in time, Thora felt the wind blow over her with the ear-drum shattering explosion, but managed to avoid any damage. A glance over her shoulder when the smoke cleared informed her that there were sixteen unconscious girls lying about in the middle of the Coliseum. While Ryohei announced that the battle was over, the Canadian took stock of who _wasn__'__t_ injured. The masked fighter, yes, and another girl wearing armor, along with the pink-haired girl (wasn't it blue?)…

But now the Sasagawa was saying something important and she had to listen. "You will now be separated into two groups!" Apparently somebody had turned down the sound system to protect everyone's hearing, "Beginning with group A, Thora Mingelkoch! Justine Paladilly! Denise Scampini! Bella! Keiko Gambino! Err…Mystery Fighter X? And…"

Thora missed the rest of the names as she was led off to the side by… no way! Her eyes had to be deceiving her.

Dressed in a bellboy uniform with a both devastated and resigned expression, Tsuna indicated the gateway out of the arena and into the participants waiting area. "Group A, this way please." He monotonely called out. Giggling as she followed his directions, the brunette pat the boy on his head as she passed, earning a sigh from him and paper he pushed into her hands, with the number 'one'.

The waiting area was a pristine place with multiple rooms for private consultations and preparations. Entering the room that had a plaque on the door reading 'Participant One', she found Francis sitting there and playing Pokemon on her DS game. A glance up told her that the cross dresser had to pay attention now and heaving a sigh, she pushed the small game system into her pocket.

"Alright," standing up and pushing her friend to sit down on one of the available benches, Francis prepared her little pep talk, "I, as your coach, was informed that you will be fighting in fifteen minutes against some chick named Justine. Uhhh, be strong, don't lose," a bottle was pulled out of a duffel bag on the floor and shoved into the kick boxer's hands, "And have some water."

"…Worst coach ever."

"Shut up!"

-^o_o^-

The arena lights were still too bright, but the anxiety that Thora felt muted everything else out. Shifting nervously from one foot to the other under the gaze of the crowd, she searched for anyone familiar among the sea of faces. There! Yamamoto and Gokudera, Kyoko, Haru and the kids, the pineapple girl and two other guys, all of them were sitting behind the judge's table, holding up signs that screamed in neon colours for Thora to win. Smiling to herself, she looked for Anna, but saw her nowhere. Hibari must be keeping her busy, was her figuring. She continued watching the crowd, because the alternative was watching her opponent.

She was _huge_. Not fat, but _big_. At least six foot, wearing a suit of armour that was missing the helmet to show off the girls wide cheekbones and thick lips, along with voluminous brown hair tied back in a braid. The girl also held a large and very dangerous looking hammer in her hands, though she rested it's head at her feet, the dirt floor leaving dust on it.

Thora felt very doomed.

Once again, Ryohei took the stage. "Before we start, I must announce that Pomona of the Aragosta family has forfeited because she thought this was stupid, and so number sixteen has automatically moved up. Now, may I introduce: Thora Mingelkoch, member of the Vongola versus Justine Paladilly, member of the French Escargo!" He struck a pose, "BEGIN!"

Justine launched herself across the arena, swinging her hammer, in an impossibly fast

movement, considering that she was wearing sheet metal. Ducking and weaving under the girl's swings, Thora tried to find an opening but was continuously pushed back instead. _Damn_, she swore mentally, _she managed to put me on defensive so I couldn't strike back_!

Finally, Thora managed to dodge and dive backwards, getting out of Justine's way and the two began to circle, like a predator trying to take another as it's prey.

Blue eyes narrowed, Thora broke the thick silence between them. "Why do you want Dino?" She demanded, "You do realise that he's _my_ boyfriend right?"

A thick, dark eyebrow was raised on the other girl's face. "I don't care about love," retorting with that, she pulled into an offensive position, "I just want to rule over the Chiavarone Family!"

This time, instead of preparing to defend herself, Thora charged first, fist raised to slam into that chicks nose. But Justine was ready for this and swung her hammer right into her stomach, tossing back Thora easily.

"Face it," the French girl smirked, standing over her opponent with the hammer raised for the final blow, "You're going to lose. _C'est la vie_!" The hammer swung fast at Thora's head.

WHAM!

Thora's hands caught it, holding it tight. Panicking, Justine tried to pull it away, but Thora was too strong and used the weapon to pull herself up. As she stood, hammer head in hand, she pulled it away from the other girl and tossed it away, leaving the French one unarmed. Fists up, Thora smirked devilishly.

"I prefer Sailor Moon, _bitch_!"

Her fist slammed into Justine's face, shattering her nose and causing a torrent of blood to flow. Raising a shaking hand to her face, the Escargo member saw the droplets of blood on her fingers and passed out.

"THE WINNER!" Roared Ryohei, speakers turned back up, "THORA MINGELKOCH!"

With a fist pumped into the air, Thora basked in the glow of the crowd.

Behind the judge's table, tied up and pushed into a cage, Dino grinned cheerfully. He was one step closer to the girl of his dreams.

-^o_o^-

"You! Kicked! ASS!" Was Francis's greeting as Thora re-entered the waiting room, "Good job!"

Rolling her eyes, the older girl plopped herself down on the bench. "Like you did anything," she snapped, "I didn't even see you in the crowd!"

With a grin, Francis waved off her friend's complaints. "We have a coaches area. Anyway, good job. Have some water."

Sighing, Thora accepted the bottle and drank from it greedily. All that fighting had definitely made her thirsty. Out loud, she wondered what she would do next.

"Wait for the next fight, I guess." Francis' hand reached into the duffel bag and pulled out another Nintendo DS, "We can just play these."

Two hours later, Thora got the call. She was to fight participant four, Bella.

This would be fun.

-^o_o^-

Thora wished she could complain about the lights again. She really did. But this time there was something much worse.

The new opponent Bella.

She _sparkled_.

Seriously, there was glitter rubbed all over her body, shimmering in the lights and nearly blinding everyone in the Coliseum. Also, she was pale, looking like she hadn't seen sun in two years and wore yellow contact lenses. A Twilight fan. Great.

And that wasn't even the worst part.

That worst part was that they were both in bikinis.

See, when Thora had first heard that there was to be a swimsuit competition, she had figured that the girls would all dress up in swimsuits and parade around on a catwalk. But no. Apparently, swimsuit competition meant that you had to _fight_ in swimsuits. And Thora's was very, very skimpy. It was a tiny black string bikini that covered next to nothing. And showed everything.

Damn it.

"And now!" Called Ryohei over the speakers, "We begin the swimsuit competition! Thora Mingelkoch of the Vongola versus 'Bella' of the Volturi! BEGIN!"

Thora launched herself towards the girl, because damn it, this time _she_ was going to get the advantage, only to find herself blinded by - were those sequins Bella had just tossed in the air? Really?

A loud cackle came from the girl she was battling. "I don't think so!" Bella called out mockingly, "My specialty is in distraction! My dear sweet Dinoward is mine!"

Dino…ward?

BITCH IS GOING DOWN.

"Don't call my boyfriend that!" Shouted Thora as she got into position, squinting to try and knock out the blinding light.

"Your boyfriend?" Out of nowhere, a kick landed on her shoulder, knocking her sideways, "I was dating Dino two years ago! And we're in love!"

"In love?" Questioned the blinded brunette, hoping to keep the clearly insane girl talking so that she could find her, "Is that why he's now dating me?"

A horrible, ear piercing shriek answered her. "He loves me!" Squealed Bella, "You don't understand how deep our love is! He is the Edward to my Bella!" Quick footsteps came towards Thora from behind.

"Oh yeah?" Smirked the busty brunette, swinging around (unfortunately making her boobs jiggle _very_ obviously while she was at it) to meet Bella's attack, "Well he's the Jonathan Harker to my Mina Murray!" Colliding together, her fist met the girl's jaw with a very satisfying CRACK!

With Bella collapsed on the ground, Thora opened her eyes cautiously, only to find that all of the sparkles had been cleared from the air. Smiling brightly, she struck a pose and smiled charmingly at the audience, who cheered back.

"And now!" Once again, the boxer had the microphone, "The second part of this battle!"

_Second part…?_

"What do the judges think of our Thora Mingelkoch's bikini body?"

Jaw dropping, Thora listened to Reborn remark on her 'well-shaped childbearing hips' (ohhhh, she was killing that kid later), Romario blush and look away, holding up a sign that said '9/10' and Lussuria rant on and on, mentioning each aspect of the bikini and how well it complimented her body, as well it's smooth texture…

All she wanted to do was get the Hell out of there.

-^o_o^-

Back in waiting room, Thora was met with Francis in the corner, playing her DS while Kyoko, Haru, Chrome and Bianchi greeted her, each holding something different - cosmetics, hair accessories, stiletto heels and a gorgeous crimson silk dress.

"Next is the formal wear competition, so we decided that we couldn't leave you to this boy," Bianchi informed her, "We're here to prepare you so that you don't fail the Vongola family."

"It's going to be lots of fun!" Gushed Haru as Chrome smiled shyly and held out the shoes and Kyoko sat the fighter down.

It didn't look she was going to be getting any of those finger sandwiches.

-^o_o^-

Once again, as she found herself complaining _over_ and _over_ again, the lights were damn bright. Seriously. Were they purposefully that way, just to piss her off?

Standing there in her red dress and evil stiletto heels, her hair perfectly styled into a bun and face made up tastefully with cosmetics, Thora glowered up at the evil lights. Across from her, Mystery Fighter X stood tall, mask and purple velvet cloak in place, but also revealing a stunning icy blue Chinese dress and white flats. Neither of them were going down without a fight, since Thora still had her fighting wrist tape on and Mystery Fighter X held a rapier in hand.

They were going for the gold.

Or so it appeared.

"BEGIN!" Ryohei cried out after the necessary introductions, revealing that Mystery Fighter X actually had no family affiliation. _That's weird_, thought Thora, _Almost everyone here is trying to connect their families. What is with this person_?

Preparing herself for an attack, she watched as Mystery Fighter X flew across the arena, sword at the ready. Thora cringed as the realized that it would be flesh against blade and held her breath, waiting for the pain.

It never came.

Mystery Fighter X had stopped a foot away, a smile under the mask that blocked the eyes and above. "I'm not here to fight you." She said, her voice high and fey, "I'm here to warn you."

Well, that was odd. Cautiously, Thora dropped her guard. "What do you mean, warn me?"

"About your next opponent," was the casual answer, "Maria Allegra Raven Yume Sora Uni Estraneo, also known as: Mary-Sue."

The breath went out of Thora's lungs in shock and horror. Her next battle was against a Mary-Sue? One of the all powerful Mary-Sues, who were known for being undefeatable, perfect in every way and with a tragic back story that makes everyone love her, even _Hibari_? There was no way she could win. She would lose, and Dino would fall in love with the Sue, and he would totally forget her, and -

"Silence your internal monologue!" With the pommel of her sword, Mystery Fighter X smacked Thora on the head, "You need to pay attention to me! Now, the number one way to defeat a Sue is by pointing out their flaws. There is no such thing as perfection. To achieve perfection, one must cover flaws. Find those, and exploit them," The strange girl held up a finger, "With logic."

Walking away, Mystery Fighter X held up her sword. "I forfeit the match!" She called out, and, ignoring the hisses and catcalls, walked towards the arena's exit.

Thora watched her go. "Mystery Fighter X, who are you?" She asked, a mysterious wind suddenly blowing through the Coliseum and catching stray strands of her hair.

In answer, Mystery Fighter X held up her fingers and flashed a peace sign, before disappearing into the shadows of the arena's exit.

-^o_o^-

"Well, wasn't _that _melodramatic?" Francis snarked as Thora re-entered the waiting room, "What was that all about?"

Quickly changing out of the stilettos and dress and putting back on the t-shirt, shorts and converse she'd worn for her first fight, Thora shrugged. "She just wanted to warn me about the next fight is all. Not really that much."

Giving a little head tilt of acknowledgement, Francis went back to her video game. "You better win, or I'll be uber-pissed."

"I will, I will." Placated Thora as she sat down and waited for the summoning.

-^o_o^-

The lights didn't matter anymore.

Because she was going to die.

The woman in front of her had the perfect hourglass figure, with mile long legs and a face that could launch ten thousand ships and leave Helen of Troy sobbing on the shores. Her long, luscious and thick curling red hair was set off by her emerald eyes that contained hidden depths so deep that it could claimed that that was where all of the missing vessels from the Bermuda Triangle went. Wearing a leather miniskirt, a tight tank top that showed off her curves and an unbelievably stylish pair of heels, she also had a ring of every flame type on her fingers. In fact, Maria Allegra Raven Yume Sora Uni Estraneo was so stunning that whenever someone looked at her, they were forced to recite a long description of her splendours.

Thora resisted the urge to stab herself.

Before beginning the battle, Maria had regaled them all with a telling of her sad, sad tale. She had been born as heir to the Estraneo family and was the one who, completely by accident, discovered the Possession bullet. But because it caused such a devastating effect that led to the mass murder of her family, she locked herself in a tower, allowing herself to be spared when Mukuro went on a rampage and killed everyone. After those horrors, she changed her name to hide herself and entered the Varia at the tender age of eight, where she showed herself to be the strongest member of all of them and ended up falling in love with Xanxus three years later. But Squalo also fell in love with her, and she ran away to spare them the pain of loving her, for everyone she cared about would die due to a curse her mother placed on her as a child. Because she left them, Xanxus went on a rampage and started the Cradle Affair (no, it had nothing to do with the fact that he was adopted, what are you talking about?). Eventually, after running away, she met Dino and they fell in love and were supposed to be together forever, but he went to Japan and met some hag of a girl named Zora or something who stole him away and is obviously just an obstacle on the path to proving their true love.

The entire audience was sobbing at the end, not including the Arcobaleno, and even Ryohei was crying very unmanly tears and told them all that it was very much the saddest story he'd ever heard and that he was now in love with Maria Allegra Raven Yume Sora Uni Estraneo.

Flicking back her beautiful octarine hair, Maria smiled innocently up at everyone. "May we begin now, Ryo-yo?"

"Anytime you will it, my EXTREME love!"

"Alright," Maria smiled with her perfect white teeth and used her super speed to suddenly appear in front of Thora and slam her backwards with a single well manicured nail. Head spinning, Thora tied to pull herself up but was stopped by Maria jabbing her in the stomach with her heels.

Pulling out seven boxes, she prepared to launch all of them at the poor brunette under her feet. "Any final words?" The Mary Sue asked sweetly, igniting all of her flames.

An idea struck Thora like a lightning bolt and she raised her finger into the air and called out loudly:

"Logic: Hibari would totally kick this bitches ass for being in the middle of a Coliseum built on school property."

When she finished, a large explosion occurred at one of the walls in the arena, throwing people and bits of the rock flying everywhere. Standing in the middle of the gap, tonfas at the ready, Kyoya Hibari was radiating pissed off-ery.

Everybody was about to be bitten to death.

Believing herself to be immune do to her perfectness, Maria swished back her hooloovoo shaded hair and widened her urple eyes at the prefect. "Oh, Hi-chan! Please, do not despair that I do not love you, for truly, I-"

A tonfa to the face shut her up and sent her sprawling.

"Building on school grounds without a permit is against the rules," he informed the terrified audience. But before he could finish his sentence with his catchphrase, he was interrupted.

Much like ninjas appear in a whirlwind of leaves, a swirl of small slips of paper around Hibari announced the arrival of two masked and cloaked figures: Mystery Fighter X had returned. And this time she'd brought a friend.

Mystery Fighter X struck a pose. "Prepare for detention!"

"You best pay attention!" Announced Mystery Fighter Z and he swished his own green velvet cloak as he struck a matching pose.

"To protect the school from devastation!"

"To unite all students within our nation!"

"To denounce the evils of crowding and Mist!"

"To extend our reach to every class list!"

Whipping off their cloaks and masks, the masked fighters revealed themselves.

"Anna!" The blonde shouted, thrusting her rapier into the air.

"Kusakabe!" The vice-president pumped up his fist.

"Student Disciplinary Committee, rock on at the speed of light!"

"Surrender now or prepare to fight!"

Holding up his tonfas, Hibari was more pissed off than ever. "I'll _bite you all to death_!"

Anna pouted at him. "Uwaaa, you're supposed to say 'That's right' - OW!"

"Committee members, go!" Shouted out Kusakabe. Out of the shadows peeled more of Hibari's minions, all in their uniforms and with their pompadours. As one, they began to tear down and destroy the edges of the arena.

His head held high, Hibari glowered at everyone. "This building is against the rules and as such it shall be torn down.

Apparently one of men had hit the plumbing and water exploded everywhere, spilling onto the ground and turning the dirt to mud as the arena was flooded. Slipping, Thora noticed Maria stand up, her perfect transparent hair ruined and trembling with rage.

"NOOOOO!" She screamed, "DINO IS MINE! WE WERE MEANT TO BE TOGETHER FOREVEEEER!"

The brunette had just about enough of the chick's shit.

"Shut up!" Thora shouted, tackling the Mary-Sue to the ground. Gabbing a chunk of her new enemies hair, the two of slipped and battled in the mud, scratching each other and tearing their clothes apart. Finally, Maria had flipped them over and put her hands around Thora's throat, but a whip suddenly struck her and knocked her off.

"Don't you hurt my girlfriend!" Shouted Dino over the noise, in a perfect hero pose. As Maria watched in horror, the blond Mafia boss grabbed his love and whisked her out of the damaged arena.

Backing into a wall, Maria Allegra Raven Yume Sora Uni Estraneo sunk down in disbelief. "Dino… loves her more than me?"

"Oops." A loud thunk like a knife being stabbed into a watermelon ceased her from ever speaking again. Pulling his trident out of her head, Mukuro smirked maliciously. "Missed one."

And around him, the Coliseum was destroyed.

-^o_o^-

Outside, Dino pulled Thora along at a fast pace, clutching her hand tightly in his own. Blushing as she stared up at him, the brunette kept up, nearly stumbling a few times until they finally made far enough from the damaged Coliseum.

Standing there in her muddied and torn clothes, hair a mess, Thora looked up at Dino with sad blue eyes. "Dino…" she whispered softly, "Is it true that you dated all those girls before me?"

"What?" Shouted the blond, clearly appalled, "No! They're all crazy! In fact, none of my ex-girlfriends were even there! They don't really want anything to do with me anymore…" Trailing off, he scratched the back of his head. "Thora, I'm happy with you."

A lump formed in her throat. "Do you… love me?"

His soulful brown eyes met hers. "I do."

She ran into his arms and he gathered her up and kissed her passionately. Behind them, like fireworks, the Coliseum exploded into the sky, like a phoenix rising from the ashes.

Elsewhere, Anna helped up a raggedy Francis. "Do you ever feel like we're in some cheesy movie?" She asked her cross dressing friend.

"…You're hearing the voices again, aren't you?"

"Shut up! …Maybe."

They heard the sound of two tonfas prepared for attack before there was a sharp pain and darkness overtook them.

-^o_o^-

"It's time for Haru Haru Interview: Dangerous Corner!" A bouncy girl in a pink and yellow outfit announced, "And today we have…" The box came down empty, "Hahi~! Where is she?"

"I guess useless Anna isn't coming," said Reborn idly.

"No, no, I'm here," sliding down the pole, Anna appeared with a strawberry milk in hand and landed in the box, "Sorry, I had to beat the vending machine into submission."

Smiling, Haru waved her hand, "Because you were late, we have to start now! What's your birthday, blood type, height and weight?"

Anna smiled and closed her eyes, "A secret, unknown, taller than you, less than you."

"Hahi~! So mysterious!"

"I wonder why she won't say…" Muttered Reborn in an aside, "Wouldn't your passport tell?" He asked aloud.

"Ah ha! But first you'd have to find it!" Declared the blonde triumphantly, "I hid it in one of my books! It would take you forever to find it!"

"Then let's change the subject," the toddler suggested, "So, useless Anna, why are you so useless?"

"I'M NOT USELESS!" Yelled Anna, fists pumped into the air, "I am an intelligent person with a lack of physical expertise! Besides," she calmed down, "I do practice fencing."

"Fencing?" Asked Haru, an image of Anna building fences appearing over her head.

"Not like that!" Snapped Anna, "Like this!" She pulled out a small sword, "Though typically these are used only for decoration, I like to make sure mine is sharp, just in case."

Reborn's eyebrows shot up, "So, useless Anna can use a sword?"

"Hahi~! That's amazing!" Haru held her microphone up, "Will we be able to get a demonstration?"

"Uwa~n!" A few quick swings of her sword and slice marks appeared in the poles, "How's that?"

Smirking, Reborn watched the poles begin to shake and Haru squeaked, "Watch out!"

"Ne…?" Just as Anna looked up, the poles fell on her.

"Hahi~! Anna-chan!" Haru panicked, "Are you alright? Speak to me, Anna-chan!"

"That's all for now, I guess. Useless Anna is still useless." Reborn tipped his hat to the camera, "See you next time."

"Anna-chan~!"

-^o_o^-

_I can't believe I wrote all of that. The idea for the fiancé battle belongs to my friend. Yes, Coliseum is spelt that way. Kusakabe is totally being corrupted by Anna's hammy-ness._

_Next time: You know what? I'm not even going to bother. I don't know when the next chapter will be out, or even what I'm going to do with it. So just hope. _


	12. Author's Note with Crack!

**Hello all! I'm back! Er, so since my last (rather melodramatic) update (my deepest apologies), I have been super busy with work, volunteering, moving three times, getting a cat, and now college again. But! I am still working on new chapters of Thunder Rolls and Funny Games! Thunder Rolls is nearly done, and Funny Games is in development Hell right now, but they do exist! In the mean time, please accept this filler of Thora, Anna and Francis's RPG nights as a thank you for having such patience with me, and I'll see you again soon!**

**(More apologies for the scantiness of this - it was adapted from an old script.)**

* * *

**Slapping Cthulhu**

* * *

Anna stared at her game notes suspiciously. "So, this guy is in the Mafia."

"Yes." Agreed Thora cautiously, mentally preparing herself for another of Anna's 'logistics inquiries', as the blonde called them.

"The _Italian _mafia."

"Are there any others?" Francis growled sarcastically, itching to get back to their game.

That earned her a slap to the head. "Well, yeah, there's the Russian and Cuban mafias, not to mention the yakuza and Chinese gangsters that abound."

"Look, what's your point?" Asked their most level-headed group member.

"You say he has a German accent," declared Anna, "But only _Italians_ can join the Italian Mafia."

Pondering this, Thora decided on a solution. "He's Italian but he was raised in Germany."

"Let me see that character sheet!" Demanded the irate player as she leaned across the table to grab it.

"No!"

"Aren't we part of the Mafia?" Pointed out Francis, "And what if he was part of the German mafia?

"Those are called Nazis. And she specifically said 'Italian', and we're talking about the nineteen-twenties when blackface was socially acceptable, not our mongrel-ish day and age."

Thora threw up her hands. "Fine! He has an Italian accent!"

"See? Sense making."

"Can we please move on now?" Groaned their crossdresser.

"Are there anymore objections, Anna?" Sighed Thora.

Anna raised her hand. "The defense rests."

"Thank you." Shuffling her papers, she brought them back to the game, "You turn the corner into a dank dungeon."

With a gasp, Anna turned to Francis. "You know what dank rhymes with?"

"What?"

"Gank."

"It's a trap! Run!"

The game master stared at them in confusion. "What's a gank?"

"Oh. Nevermind, then." Shrugging her shoulders, she tried to continue on, but Thora wouldn't let it go. "Fine. It's when overpowered players team up on a weaker one."

"Because you're obviously leading us into a trap." Supplied Anna unhelpfully.

The short-haired brunette nodded. "Or the German-"

"AH-HEM."

"…or the Italian guy is."

"Never trust a Nazi-oso." Muttered the goggle-wearer.

Thora started screaming profanities internally. "I don't even know what a gank is! Continuing on!"

"I check the ceiling." Declared Anna, rolling her dice.

Muttering darkly, Thora looked at her notes. "You see cobwebs."

"How big are the cobwebs?" Questioned Francis.

"_Regular sized cobwebs_. There aren't even spiders on them."

Anna began stroking her imaginary beard, which would be less imaginary if Hibari hadn't caught her trying to steal some of his hair for goatee one time and sprained her wrist for it, before taking back his hair of course. "So there's something in here that eats spiders. Interesting…"

"No there isn't!" Groaned Thora. Trying to keep those two on track was worse then trying to herd cats. More like herding a pack of rabbits who had stumbled upon a magic mushroom grow-up.

"She lies! I can see it in her eyes!" Cried out Francis.

"I make a spot check!" Shouted Anna, flinging her dice at the table, "Fourteen!"

Thora sighed heavily. "About time. You notice a chest in the middle of the room."

Suddenly the smaller girl was all caution. "Is it moving?" She asked timidly.

"No."

"I throw the Mafia dude at it." Was Francis's decision.

That floored their game-master. "Why would you do that?!"

"So he gets eaten first and we can run." Was her friend's dead-pan answer.

Frowning with disapproval, she continued. "He groans and complains 'Why'd you do that?!' he asks in his thick German-"

"AH-HEM."

"-_Italian _accent."

"So you get eaten first and we can run."

"Now, open the chest for us!" Demanded the blonde in full agreement of her younger friend's methods.

Thora checked his sheet. "He has no lock-picking skills."

"Yes he does." Insisted Anna.

"No, he doesn't!"

"He's a mafioso in the nineteen-twenties, so _logically_ he would be able to-"

"Fine! He picks the lock and opens the chest. Inside you find-"

"Puppies!"

"Kittens!"

Thora slapped down their hopes and dreams. "A scroll."

"Oh. Sucky."Complained Francis with obvious disappointment.

"Y'know, we haven't had a confrontation in awhile." Mentioned Anna, seemingly idly.

That perked up Francis. "Yeah! Let's go battle scary things!"

"Don't you want to know what's written in the scroll?!"

"I want to try out my new gun!" Grinned the prefect maniacally.

Francis began to chant. "Confrontation! Confrontation!"

"You know what?" Snapped Thora, "Fine! The German-"

"Italian."

Thora ignored her. "-Opens the scroll and summons Cthulhu."

Immediately Anna was filled with swashbuckling suave. "I bitchslap him in the face and challenge him to a gentleman's duel!" She rolled. "Four!"

Thora rolled her own dice. "He bites off your arm."

"I pull out my spare!"

"YOU DON'T HAVE A SPARE!"

Anna waved her inventory sheet. "Yes I do. When we killed those regenerating lizards I stole their limbs in case of such a problem. Plus, I get a healing bonus thanks to regeneration. Also, that regeneration would allow it to quickly grow itself onto me, therefore immediately allowing me to continue, though with a significant dent to my sanity points. Which I'm not sure I even have anymore."

Francis looked like Christmas had come early. "Good idea! Got anymore?"

"I've got a leg."

"I kick Cthulhu in the balls! Twenty!"

"He knocks you into the wall and pulls down the ceiling. Rocks fall, everyone dies." Mono-toned Thora.

Anna's face fell. "That's so–"

"ROCKS FALL, EVERYONE DIES!"

"What about the mafia dude?" Asked Francis.

Thora scowled. "His name is Hans, y'know."

"But he's Italian-" Began Anna's protests.

"FINE! _Enrico_ escapes, becomes head of his famglia, scores lots of babes and lives happily ever after."

"Our next campaign should be to take him down!" Shouted the crossdresser.

"Yeah, from the inside!" Chimed in Anna.

"With lots of gunfights!"

"And sexy people!"

Thora groaned and smacked her head against the table repeatedly.

Francis was already pulling out a new sheet. "Let's roll up our new characters!"

"Some one else can be game master…" Groaned Thora, feebly lifting her head from the table.

"Ooo! I'll do it!" Volunteered Anna eagerly.

Thora sighed in relief. "Thank God…"

Anna began t scribble down notes on the back of her old character sheet. "It'll be put in the late eighteen-hundreds and in Europe-"

Francis blinked in surprise. "Wait! What about the mafia?!"

"Screw the mafia! We're gonna have _air pirates_!"

* * *

Yamamoto looked at his host-sister with concern. "Maa, what's wrong Thora? You look like death."

She stared up at him with true fear in her eyes. "Anna is running game nights now. There is no promise that any of us will survive."

"It can't be that bad-"

The door to the sushi shop burst open. "Hi Thora! Are you ready? Oh yeah, I brought Hibari to play!"

"...It was nice knowing you, Tho."


End file.
